You can count the number of times I’ve been sick on one hand. Several of my doctors claim that I am THE healthiest patient they have. This is attested to two major factors. The first is my anti-drug policy. I’m not at all an “all natural” person. I simply refuse to substitute already working parts of my body with foreign objects. I have also been exposed to controlled amounts of illnesses due to the majority of my childhood being spent in a hospital. I’ve been hit with 100s of colds, flues, and virus’. All of this astonishes the medical community, considering I am a chronic insomniac. I sleep a whole 2 hours a night, if that. It’s considered nearly non-existent for a chronic-insomniac to have anything but a weak immune system. [A doctor I’ve only heard of seems to think that I’m one of a hand-full of people in history to have a sort of negative insomnia: My body needs little to no sleep to function correctly. He’s contacted my doctors constantly, and we’ve given him all-access to any and all of my medical records.]
The last time I was sick was in 1999. For 2 weeks, I’d had a slight fever and a bad cough. Nothing serious, but a rarity for me. Because of my history of traumatic colds, my parents were weary. Sure enough, I suddenly started puking everything up. Everything. They brought me to the hospital, and I was instantly admitted. My temperature quickly climbed from 101.1 to 103 in under a half an hour. After trying 26 consecutive times over a period of 3 hours, the doctor called in an expert to try to get an IV into me. See, because of the constant molestation by the nurses and doctors, my veins had receded into my flesh, barely willing to become exposed. The specialist, possibly the best [IV inserter? What do you call them?] tried 3 times before calling it: Impossible. He then decided to use the most consistent artery in the male anatomy: My scrotum. Granted, he didn’t poke my peter, he did go into the pubic region just above it where the vein goes to. That, however, became infected nearly immediately. It seemed like a regular exorcist scene, as I’d begun pooping constantly, puking at human touch [I may or may not have OCD, and I become increasingly sensitive to human touch when I’m sick. Even looking at human flesh makes me sick, sometimes.] and soon became delirious. I was have hallucinations that I’d been reborn as some old guy’s dog. I was calling out to very specific full names, and asking them to write back from the war. I told several of the doctors that, if they touched me, they’d be damned forever. These, however, aren’t considered true hallucinations because I KNEW it was happening. They call those something like conscious ‘vacations’ or escape mechanisms. I realized very clearly that I wasn’t the people I thought I was, and that I didn’t know anyone I called out. The doctor decided after the first day of this [They flew in several experts on the first DAY. It helps that I have full coverage, so these sorts of things are possible] that I very well could die. I hadn’t eaten in approximately 8 days. My temperature was unreadable [I’d puke if you even mentioned putting something in my mouth.] but they thought it had to be 104, maybe even 105 [Which I’m told is humanly impossible, that you’d burst from that kind of heat.] and that I wouldn’t last much longer. My parents urged the doctor to tell me, because I could take it. Immediately I told them to leave me alone. I didn’t want them to even enter my room unless I called for them so I could use the bedpan. I didn’t want them poking me, testing me, or any of that. They obliged, and by the next day, I had ordered a full meal. Not the mush they’d normally feed someone that sick, but a chicken and mashed-potatoes meal. I ate every single scrap, and ordered seconds. My fever was gone. I went home, against their best advice, and was at 100% health the next day.
3 blood samples were taken in the next 3 months, a pint each. They were sent to 4 or 5 different medical facilities. They all concluded that I was immune to a great majority of flu virus’ from that point on. My blood also has an incredible resilience to a number of other illnesses they subjected it to. I am actually cited in a few research papers, as well as a single reference book based on my immune system alone. [I’m in a handful of reference books, but only because of my slightly off-beat form of Dwarfism. It’s not COMPLETELY different, but I am unique and don’t have all of the normal dwarfism characteristics of my ‘breed.’]
I am sorry I just spent a majority of your time reading random history, but I’m a little delirious right now. I can’t stop typing. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this, but I just don’t know what else to do right now. I can’t sleep, eat, or do anything that’ll take my mind off of the situation. Writing is always helpful.
Two weeks ago I had a very very hard time sleeping. My usual 2 hours a night became 2 hours in 4 days. The next week, I could barely move, and fell out of bed. Body aches forced me to stay home for 2 days. On Friday, I began to cough incredibly hard. I had blood in my nostrils, and I became dizzy very easily. Despite all that, I felt generally fine, so I didn’t really complain or tell anyone. I slept from 1 am to 11:30 am. This is an incredibly rare occurrence for me, and is almost always the telltale sign that I am sick. My body suddenly needs more time to refresh itself. My temperature has gone from 101 to 102 in a half an hour.
Today I went to the doctor to find that I have pneumonia, and likely, a VERY extremely rare strain of the flu. I’ve been coughing up blood, and have been consistently hallucinating very mild things. I picked up a DVD [My new Frank Caliendo DVD, even! It came quick.] case from the desk and set it on the second shelf of the desk. A few seconds later, I got down out of my chair to pick it up, KNOWING I hadn’t dropped it. I tried to pick up an invisible can of mountain dew several times while writing this, and my PC has frozen 4 times, and I’ve kept typing long after the words stopped actually appearing on the screen. It probably doesn’t help that I’m reading Ginsberg.
I’m really worried, because I never get sick. If I do make it past this flu, I’ll be completely immune to all common strains of flu in this part of the world. This has also renewed several people’s interest in my insomnia, and I’m more than likely going to have a very cool research paper written about me. It’d be really nice to have all that, but I don’t really like being near death to get that sort of credit.
Thanks for reading all that, those of you that did. I’ll keep you all posted.
To avoid nothing but “OMG GET BETTAR SOON KIRBAY!” posts, I wanna know how often you guys get sick?
The last time I was sick was in 1999. For 2 weeks, I’d had a slight fever and a bad cough. Nothing serious, but a rarity for me. Because of my history of traumatic colds, my parents were weary. Sure enough, I suddenly started puking everything up. Everything. They brought me to the hospital, and I was instantly admitted. My temperature quickly climbed from 101.1 to 103 in under a half an hour. After trying 26 consecutive times over a period of 3 hours, the doctor called in an expert to try to get an IV into me. See, because of the constant molestation by the nurses and doctors, my veins had receded into my flesh, barely willing to become exposed. The specialist, possibly the best [IV inserter? What do you call them?] tried 3 times before calling it: Impossible. He then decided to use the most consistent artery in the male anatomy: My scrotum. Granted, he didn’t poke my peter, he did go into the pubic region just above it where the vein goes to. That, however, became infected nearly immediately. It seemed like a regular exorcist scene, as I’d begun pooping constantly, puking at human touch [I may or may not have OCD, and I become increasingly sensitive to human touch when I’m sick. Even looking at human flesh makes me sick, sometimes.] and soon became delirious. I was have hallucinations that I’d been reborn as some old guy’s dog. I was calling out to very specific full names, and asking them to write back from the war. I told several of the doctors that, if they touched me, they’d be damned forever. These, however, aren’t considered true hallucinations because I KNEW it was happening. They call those something like conscious ‘vacations’ or escape mechanisms. I realized very clearly that I wasn’t the people I thought I was, and that I didn’t know anyone I called out. The doctor decided after the first day of this [They flew in several experts on the first DAY. It helps that I have full coverage, so these sorts of things are possible] that I very well could die. I hadn’t eaten in approximately 8 days. My temperature was unreadable [I’d puke if you even mentioned putting something in my mouth.] but they thought it had to be 104, maybe even 105 [Which I’m told is humanly impossible, that you’d burst from that kind of heat.] and that I wouldn’t last much longer. My parents urged the doctor to tell me, because I could take it. Immediately I told them to leave me alone. I didn’t want them to even enter my room unless I called for them so I could use the bedpan. I didn’t want them poking me, testing me, or any of that. They obliged, and by the next day, I had ordered a full meal. Not the mush they’d normally feed someone that sick, but a chicken and mashed-potatoes meal. I ate every single scrap, and ordered seconds. My fever was gone. I went home, against their best advice, and was at 100% health the next day.
3 blood samples were taken in the next 3 months, a pint each. They were sent to 4 or 5 different medical facilities. They all concluded that I was immune to a great majority of flu virus’ from that point on. My blood also has an incredible resilience to a number of other illnesses they subjected it to. I am actually cited in a few research papers, as well as a single reference book based on my immune system alone. [I’m in a handful of reference books, but only because of my slightly off-beat form of Dwarfism. It’s not COMPLETELY different, but I am unique and don’t have all of the normal dwarfism characteristics of my ‘breed.’]
I am sorry I just spent a majority of your time reading random history, but I’m a little delirious right now. I can’t stop typing. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this, but I just don’t know what else to do right now. I can’t sleep, eat, or do anything that’ll take my mind off of the situation. Writing is always helpful.
Two weeks ago I had a very very hard time sleeping. My usual 2 hours a night became 2 hours in 4 days. The next week, I could barely move, and fell out of bed. Body aches forced me to stay home for 2 days. On Friday, I began to cough incredibly hard. I had blood in my nostrils, and I became dizzy very easily. Despite all that, I felt generally fine, so I didn’t really complain or tell anyone. I slept from 1 am to 11:30 am. This is an incredibly rare occurrence for me, and is almost always the telltale sign that I am sick. My body suddenly needs more time to refresh itself. My temperature has gone from 101 to 102 in a half an hour.
Today I went to the doctor to find that I have pneumonia, and likely, a VERY extremely rare strain of the flu. I’ve been coughing up blood, and have been consistently hallucinating very mild things. I picked up a DVD [My new Frank Caliendo DVD, even! It came quick.] case from the desk and set it on the second shelf of the desk. A few seconds later, I got down out of my chair to pick it up, KNOWING I hadn’t dropped it. I tried to pick up an invisible can of mountain dew several times while writing this, and my PC has frozen 4 times, and I’ve kept typing long after the words stopped actually appearing on the screen. It probably doesn’t help that I’m reading Ginsberg.
I’m really worried, because I never get sick. If I do make it past this flu, I’ll be completely immune to all common strains of flu in this part of the world. This has also renewed several people’s interest in my insomnia, and I’m more than likely going to have a very cool research paper written about me. It’d be really nice to have all that, but I don’t really like being near death to get that sort of credit.
Thanks for reading all that, those of you that did. I’ll keep you all posted.
To avoid nothing but “OMG GET BETTAR SOON KIRBAY!” posts, I wanna know how often you guys get sick?
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
Hang in there.
