Massassi Forums Logo

This is the static archive of the Massassi Forums. The forums are closed indefinitely. Thanks for all the memories!

You can also download Super Old Archived Message Boards from when Massassi first started.

"View" counts are as of the day the forums were archived, and will no longer increase.

☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Recipe for a Massassian
12
Recipe for a Massassian
2006-05-23, 7:41 PM #1
Talking with a Massassian friend of mine, we (well, he) came up a game for Massassi to play. Take the poster above you, and write a recipe to make them.

His example was
Originally posted by RandyMac:
Randall__ says:
to, example, zloc would be
Randall__ says:
a bag of youthfulness
1 tsp bad online product purchasing
4L maturity


So anyway...uh...go. Someone do me, then do them, and so on.
I had a blog. It sucked.
2006-05-23, 7:43 PM #2
Stole my thread idea. :(

I'll just use my example (with some modifications):

How to make a Zloc

2 cups of youthfulness
1 tsp bad online product purchasing (y'know...the gpod incident)
4L maturity
A Gorillaz album

Stir well, and place in oven until it's fully cooked.
Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
2006-05-23, 8:22 PM #3
Ah! The novelty. Almost as good as the first time. But nevermind me, please go on.
幻術
2006-05-23, 8:25 PM #4
Koobie

1 cup worst singing voice ever :p
2 cups older, trivial video game knowledge
A pinch of smartass

Cook in oven until golden brown.
I had a blog. It sucked.
2006-05-23, 8:58 PM #5
Well... Your recipie has already been posted though. Twice! :p
-=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
1337Yectiwan
The OSC Empire
10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On
2006-05-23, 9:00 PM #6
a tablespoon of cocky
sprinkle of ladies man
bucket of WANG

goes well with other geeks
2006-05-24, 12:58 PM #7
add 1 gallon ambition
3 parts Torque engine
be sure to remove anything that looks remotely anatomical

store in a dark, moist place and talk to occasionally
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2006-05-24, 1:10 PM #8
Pre-heat oven at "Dead Sexy"

Whip two women in a bowl
Add a cup and a half of "Announcer Voice"
Cover in class
Add optional teaspoon of angst.

Let cook for 3 hours. Take it out of the oven and as it's cooling, sprinkle Suave.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-05-24, 1:16 PM #9
One cup modeling expertise
2 tbs of bitterness
1 tsp of biological warfare
1 full sack of awesomness (12 kg)

Stir until fluffy. Bake in steaming hawt oven of hawtness for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Garnish with axe for added effect.
"Jayne, this is something the Captain has to do for himself"

"N-No it's not!"

"Oh."
2006-05-24, 1:28 PM #10
You forgot the half-and-half *rimshot*
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-05-24, 1:39 PM #11
( I just realized that Glyde's name sounds like lube O.o )

One cup silicone
3 tsp of crisco
2 tbs of latex
1 lb of suffering

Beat until tender, then beat some more, then slide across floor or greased cookie sheet.

Warning: May contain peanuts.
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2006-05-24, 2:24 PM #12
Hee. I remember the old thread of this, many moons ago. I have Kirby's version of me somewhere.

Baked Homicide Cordon Bleu served in a white-wine sauce with shallottes, truffles and small potatoes.

Ingredients:
- 20g illicit drugs
- 2 knives
- 300ml paranoia
- 25g general knowledge
- 20g IRC
- 2 eggs
- butter
- salt and pepper to taste

Stir the eggs, butter, paranoia, general knowledge and IRC in a big mixing bowl in an indeterminate location and knead until lighter than air. Attatch a string to stop floating away and garnish with the knives, drugs, salt and pepper. Bake with a flamethrower until crispy, golden brown. Then add some shallottes, truffles and small potatoes after dousing with white wine. Then drink the white wine, buy more drugs and get stoned and drunk for no reason.

Serves 3, if you don't mind starving to death.
Hey, Blue? I'm loving the things you do. From the very first time, the fight you fight for will always be mine.
2006-05-24, 2:35 PM #13
1 Part furries
2 Parts Final Fantasy
1 Part Chin Beard
And some eggs wearing glasses.

Bake until golden brown.
nope.
2006-05-24, 3:01 PM #14
1 wild bacon plant
1 small domesticated fish
1/2 cup butter

Warning: failure to remove debit card and bones before cooking can result in ruinned flavor

fry in pan and butter untill burned-out.

some one should make a better one for him than that
“Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.” -G.K. Chesterton
2006-05-24, 3:04 PM #15
One pound LotR
2 tsp gold dust
a pinch of sugar

Bring to boil and let simmer

may explode
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2006-05-24, 3:19 PM #16
take one cup gordon freeman
take out goatee
mix with 3/4ths cup minnesota
genkitize until genklicious
2006-05-24, 3:42 PM #17
Start with one cup of carbon.
Add one cup of oxygen.
Bake at 400 degrees until a chemical reaction occurs between the two.
Sprinkle with hyphons.

Note: Recipe makes enough servings to kill twelve adult humans. For larger parties, increase ingredients proportionally.
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
2006-05-24, 5:30 PM #18
But that would make -Carbon Monoxide- !
nope.
2006-05-24, 5:35 PM #19
mix some Emo, Goth, Nerd and Chav into a mixing bowl.

KABLAMO!!
Code:
if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}
2006-05-24, 7:09 PM #20
This one's simple:

Pre-heat oven at "British Sexy"
2 Lbs of hair, 1 quart of blood, 3 vampire teeth, and a slab of emo.

Let cook till hair rises, or add asian schoolgirl for added erection.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-05-24, 7:12 PM #21
Two parts Jedi, three parts Kirby. Mix well, add a dash of Brian Pepper and steam until done. Serve with barrel rolls.
woot!
2006-05-24, 7:13 PM #22
That was pure weak.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-05-24, 7:17 PM #23
Originally posted by Baconfish:
But that would make -Carbon Monoxide- !

regina spektor?


Kirbzzorz;
One part black hole
Six parts marshmellows
2 drops of red food coloring
Douse in midichlorians
Infuse with life

Keep away from lightsabers
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2006-05-24, 7:17 PM #24
Originally posted by JediKirby:
This one's simple:

Pre-heat oven at "British Sexy"
2 Lbs of hair, 1 quart of blood, 3 vampire teeth, and a slab of emo.

Let cook till hair rises, or add asian schoolgirl for added erection.



wOw............... .. . . . .. . .. . .. .. .
Matt
2006-05-24, 8:44 PM #25
Add lots of letters and throw in a number.

KABLAMO
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2006-05-24, 8:53 PM #26
boil Jesus to evaporate to leave only Lord
while boiling
add some asian
induce pr0nstar suave
throw in a calculus book
write 'gris' on a piece of paper and stir in
simmer for 3 years on high

enjoy!
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2006-05-25, 1:14 AM #27
[QUOTE=- Tony -]Hee. I remember the old thread of this, many moons ago. I have Kirby's version of me somewhere.

Baked Homicide Cordon Bleu served in a white-wine sauce with shallottes, truffles and small potatoes.

Ingredients:
- 20g illicit drugs
- 2 knives
- 300ml paranoia
- 25g general knowledge
- 20g IRC
- 2 eggs
- butter
- salt and pepper to taste

Stir the eggs, butter, paranoia, general knowledge and IRC in a big mixing bowl in an indeterminate location and knead until lighter than air. Attatch a string to stop floating away and garnish with the knives, drugs, salt and pepper. Bake with a flamethrower until crispy, golden brown. Then add some shallottes, truffles and small potatoes after dousing with white wine. Then drink the white wine, buy more drugs and get stoned and drunk for no reason.

Serves 3, if you don't mind starving to death.[/QUOTE]

I fully endorse this recipe and give it my seal of approval.
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2006-05-25, 1:23 AM #28
Two bullets
One gun
One angry woman
One man
One stripper

Add the bulelts to the gun. Add the gun to the woman. Add the man to the stripper. After three minutes, add the woman to the stripper.

-Make sure to cut in half before refrigerating.
2006-05-25, 6:19 AM #29
Originally posted by genk:
regina spektor?


Eh?
nope.
2006-05-25, 6:35 AM #30
Originally posted by bearded_jarl:
.


1 cup of hair
2 cups of semen
Stirred four times a day
Served hot with all meals
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2006-05-25, 7:09 AM #31
i posted without understanding the rules :(
Code:
if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}
2006-05-25, 7:13 AM #32
Yes you did.

A baconfish doesn't Kablamo.
nope.
2006-05-25, 7:18 AM #33
I don't really know, but Jepman should be cooked to 99% ready and then not letting anybody have it. :p
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2006-05-25, 7:40 AM #34
Fastgamerr

2 tbsp Tarja
1 cup Conan
32 oz. sauna ooze scraped fresh
4 cups Jean-Michel Jarre

Blend until liquidated, then add sweet *** lime for flavoring.
"Those ****ing amateurs... You left your dog, you idiots!"
2006-05-25, 7:54 AM #35
Originally posted by FastGamerr:
I don't really know, but Jepman should be cooked to 99% ready and then not letting anybody have it. :p


!!!!!!!!!
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2006-05-25, 8:35 AM #36
Recipe for Jepman:

2 cups cookie dough
8 condoms
1 250 mL bottle of lube

Mix cookie dough and lube thoroughly. Strain excess liquid. Divide into 8 equal parts and place in condoms. Bake in the microwave of LUUUUURVE for five minutes. Makes 8 sex-cookies (Jepmen).
Stuff
2006-05-25, 9:52 AM #37
Actually, when you open the microwave, a bun will have mysteriously appeared in your oven. :banned:
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2006-05-25, 8:23 PM #38
Recipe for Grismath

1. 2 egg whites
2. Add a cup of creationism
3. Add a pinch of salt and sarcasm
"Oh my god. That just made me want to start cutting" - Aglar
"Why do people from ALL OVER NORTH AMERICA keep asking about CATS?" - Steven, 4/1/2009
2006-05-25, 8:46 PM #39
petmc20:

1.) 1 scoop o' poop
2.) 1 sanitizing spray
3.) 3 cups of flour
4.) 1 12inch speaker cable
5.) a spongebob squarepants action figure
6.) 20 toothpicks
I <3 Massassi
2006-05-25, 8:49 PM #40
JDogg:

1) a shot of vodka
2) some jelly shooters
3) a few jagerbombs
4) a case of beer

combine in an away from home college environment and you have a very happy mix
12

↑ Up to the top!