This is going to be a two-part thread.

The first part is how i've changed in character. I'm sure that most of you remember how i was when I first came here (no need to dwell on the past, especially at this point) but lately, things have changed in my life. I was a Christian when I was a kid, but during my teen years, I started hanging with the wrong people. As a result, my life got way off track and I did things that I now regret. I've turned my back on what I used to be and what I used to do and I've reaffirmed my faith. I'm trying to make it clear that I'm not the same man that I used to be. That's why I had my title changed.


The second part is not good news, unfortunately. I've recently (within the past week) found out that I have fairly severe Dyspraxia. This is a neurological condition that impairs fine motor control, affecting 2% -8% of the population. This means that people with this condition (myself included) have fairly bad coordination, slow reaction time (Now I know why I was never any good at JK multiplayer), poor spacial awareness, and trouble keeping balance while standing up.

People with dyspraxia are not very athletic and activities like catching or hitting a ball are difficult. (as a kid, this was true for me) As a result, I'm constantly dropping things and knocking things over.

Other factors that dyspraxics have to put up with is an over-sensitivity to light, touch, sound, and other senses. I hate bright light, and the slightest tough gets my attention. Speaking abilities, short-term memory, and organizational abilities are adversely affected as well in my case. I have problems of some extent with every category of dyspraxia.

I was born with this and will always have it (there is no cure, short of somehow getting a new body, which is rather difficult these days). I managed to cope fairly well earlier in life because the body naturally learns how to compensate for reduced balance, etc.

Dyspraxia is normally diagnosed and treated to some extent fairly early in life, but since mine was not discovered until recently, there is no real treatment that can be administered since after a certain age which I have already passed your neural system matures and treatment is designed to change a still-developing neural system.

A side affect of dyspraxia is that it is sometimes accompanied by hypotonia (which is chronically low muscle tone that no amount of working out/weightlifting will fix). I also have this condition. This means that lately I've had to lean on things for support quite often, and I get tired fairly easily. When I was younger I was more active, so hypotonia didn't bother me too much. However, since I'm sitting in class or at work all day with less time to exercise in more recent times, it's been getting worse.

I'm not angry about it, as my faith makes me realize that God has a reason for doing this to me, and since there is no cure, there's no point in being upset or angry about it. I can still do the things I did before (for the time being) but now that I'm aware of this condition, I have to take certain precautions. (For one, I can't really drink anymore-- my coordination is impaired as it is, and if I drink too much I could get hurt since booze impairs my balance and coordination even more), and I have to be more careful on stairs and wet floors since dyspraxic people tend to fall really easily.

I've got a body I'll sell ya, $100. Slightly used, few entry wounds...

Sad to hear about your illness Page. You seem to be handling it well though, so good for you.

well Page I know this isn't the greatest thing to ever happen to you and seem to be taking it rather well but when you mentioned the last side affect hypotania, it is like you gave in. I say get your *** up and to a gym either before work or after and start working on strength and mobility. And if your worried about not getting a physique take supplements. I think it would be extremely health for you as opposed to your somewhat negative take on it (the whole what good will it do so i don't care.) Working with free weights helps extremely with coordination since you must move in most exercises with symmetric body movements thus increasing your stability. It is alot of work and will take time but for now along with your faith I say it could be the answer to alot of things in your life.

Yeah, I'm definitely going to look into that. From what I've learned, the coordination issues stem from having undeveloped neurons in the spine and brain, so there's not much that can be done about that. However, the hypotonia can be improved somewhat with exercise. I've heard that swimming is also a good way to build yourself up if you have hypotonia.

To be completely honest, before I had read what dysparaxia was, I was worried it was life-threatening. I'm glad to hear that it isn't.

Have you tried maybe just getting some handweights and walking up and down stairs to keep some muscle tone? If you have the time for better exercising, of course, go with that, but the impression I got was that your schedule is fairly full between work and class.

Trust me, that's not a good idea. I have to use the handrail (or both of them at once) to help keep my balance and generally I have to be careful on stairs, b/c I'll trip over my own feet if I don't. At my job, I have to go upstairs and downstairs a lot and it takes a lot out of me. Anytime I have to move something up or downstairs I use the elevator instead of simply carrying it.

You've DEFINETLY gotten better. We agree on pretty much everything now, which of course, is the RIGHT way to think :-P

I know someone that has that illness, actually. She is still being treated, but it's REALLY rare for girls to get, I guess, so it isn't as helpful to be treated in her case. Hope you can overcome it and use it to your advantage like so many of us have to.

I have osteoporosis so I can somehow relate. I should exercise all the time or I'll have a poor future ahead, I already get pains every now and then (they were worse when I was little though, I often could not get out of bed as it hurt so much). I have mental problems which affect me more at the moment however.

I'm sure you'll be able to cope with your condition even better now that you've learned about it.

Nothing about girls there. Which is shocking, as you're normally the guy for that.

Indeed.

And Goit, I sorta do miss the 4-page threads with Page about girls.

Alright, to change the tone of the thread a bit (Because no one ever focuses on the positive.)...

Glad to hear you're going back to Christianity and out of your teenage years ways. That's always a good thing, and the religion itsself is extremely motivational IMO even if you aren't exactly sure on whether you "believe" or not.

And yeah, sucks about Dyspraxia.

Everyone has either said "Sorry to hear about Dyspraxia" or given him some tips for trying to get over it. While the latter is a very good idea and anyone would appreciate it, no one has said a thing about him coming back to Christianity!

I'm sorry to hear about the Dyspraxia, but I'm proud of you for the way you're handling it, and for reaffirming what you believe in. I truly think that with the right attitude, you can pretty much overcome anything and your acceptance and willingness to do whatever you can is pretty much fantastic

(ps - I almost miss my adversary in the girl threads :P)

Good luck.

That's right, the religious forum was close before you came here.

Wrong. I remember seeing it when I very first came here, like close to 3 years ago. I also remember Flexor, first mod of the Music Forum.

I was just stupider then, immature, and really, really messed up (I never went outside, lived by what went on on the Massassi chat).

You poor individual. I'm amazed you've come out as coherent as you have.

(Note: this is suppoed to be made in a joking manner; I just can't seem to get the wording right to convey that tone)

How DARE you insult me like that!

Nah, it's alright. Hard to believe my greed for some leak of Doom3 that turned out to be a virus actually helped my life out.

I downloaded a 3kb Doom3 leak (I was stupid) that slowed down my computer, disconnected me from the internet, and just made the computer suck. I ended up turning off the computer, going outside, and you know, getting a LIFE after that point. I got internet back mid summer about 4 months later, and so me and Monoxide were up til 2 in the morning on MSN that morning when I got internet back.

Yeah, life's better now. I spend too much time on the computer, but I go outside atleast, I'm no where near as fat/fat at all anymore, and I'm much more friendly and, whaddaya know, I have actual FRIENDS instead of just obsessing over everything online.

Bad stuff :/

How did Massassi change my life? I don't know, but I sure as hell didn't expect to still be here 5 years ago.

I think we all realize because it's not the place for it.

As far as treatment, as he said himself he's a bit older than optimal. Still, you want to try micro-excersises and work out a bit more (carefully, of course). It's a developmental problem, so added stimulation wouldn't work as it usually does, in say, regular physical therapy. Doesn't hurt though, either, as you have decreased and erratic signaling. That promotes atrophy of the muscles, so extra work would be nice to make up for the signal interference.

As it is, condolences, hopefully it gets under some degree of control.

Good luck with trying to deal with dyspraxia. I'll pray for you.

Just out of curiosity, and I'm not trying to endorse certain behaviors or even put the thought in anyone's head, but how do you deal with field sobriety tests if you are ever stopped, say at a checkpoint? Do you have to have a note from a doctor or some records that prove you have Dyspraxia and any sobreity test results are invalid? Or do you need to immediately request a breathalizer?

Yeah, of the people who have dyspraxia (2-8% of the total population, depending on who you ask) 80% of the people with it are guys, whereas the remaining 20% are girls. In this way, girls with dyspraxia are a minority within a minority.

Also, I've heard that girls with dyspraxia have a harder time with it (I know someone with exceptionally severe dyspraxia, and she is very adversely affected in the physical aspects of the disorder, much more so than I am). I hypothesize that girls have it worse because they're not as strong to begin with, and the hypotonia that sometimes accompanies the disorder makes it incredibly bad for them.




Since I have trouble walking in a straight line (I have found it to be easier to walk straight if I look directly at where I have to go, and once I reach it, I then look for a new target to walk towards, etc) someone might think that I'm drunk b/c I tend to wander off of sidewalks, especially if I'm walking along with someone. I also tend to trip spontaneously and bump into people. (last week I tripped in said fashion and spilled coffee all over a friend).

If I have to stand still for a long time with nothing to hold onto I appear unsteady on my feet because I have to hold myself completely rigid to stay upright, and this makes me tired because of the hypotonia. (If I don't force myself to be constantly tense, I go completely limp, which can be quite dangerous if I'm standing up. As a result, it's impossible for me to completely relax unless I'm lying down, and even then its hard). Because of the constant tension, I put my muscles through a lot everyday, and they need a lot of time to rest and recover. I go to bed incredibly sore (to the point of shaking) every night, and if I don't get enough sleep, I still feel sore the next morning and it gets worse throughout the day. If I do get enough rest, I wake up feeling fine.

Fortunately, it's not as bad when I can walk around, in which case I manage quite well.

I would immediately request a breathalyzer if I'm ever stopped, which fortunately hasn't happened yet.

It's so you'll spend more time on Massassi. On a serious note: I'm sorry to hear about it.

I'm glad to know that the people here care, I really am.

I'm getting by okay, not much has changed from before I knew about dyspraxia except now I know what I'm dealing with and what measures that I have to take to ensure my own safety. I can still function quite normally provided that I operate within my own limitations.


I'm just glad that I don't have some of the more potentially dangerous aspects of dyspraxia that other people that share my condition have (Some dyspraxics are unable to use kitchen knives and/or are unable to cross a street alone because they can't judge distance between them and oncoming traffic.) I'm just glad that I got off with memory/balance/coordination issues and muscle weakness.


All in all, my condition has made me more receptive to and patient with the problems other people have to face.

Wow, sounds like you have an extreme form of dyspraxia there Page! My little bro has the same condition. I hadn't associated his incredible sensitivity to sound when he's trying to sleep with his dyspraxia before but I guess it makes sense. (Seriously, he barely listens to you when he's awake but when he's asleep, and I share a room with him back home, he could hear a mouse fart).
Speech and language problems are major signs of dyspraxia. Typically a dyspraxic child has a delayed development when it comes to things like first steps and the co-ordination of the mouth and tongue for talking is also affected. Because of this delay he was always behind his schoolmates and didn't have quite the same ease of wit as the rest of them, leaving him very easily open for verbal bullying. He went to a special needs type school for a while and got speech and language therapy and quickly improved. Within 4 years he went back into mainstream schooling. He's doing great, thinking about what unis to apply to at the moment.
He also had (has?) the low muscle tone problems. The current thinking is that dyspraxia is related to poor breakdown of certain fatty acids, and he was always a chunky kind of kid. Then the little bugger hit puberty, the fat fell off, he gained some muscle tone and he's pretty much as tall as me now. Only time will tell if the fat loss was due to growth spurts or a permanent change. We also noticed a lot of his problems start to leave. Sure he's still pretty clumsy, but he's an incredible white water kayaker, able to learn and pull moves in no time. I get the impression it's a case of finding something you're a natural at, and the handicap of being dyspraxic is levelled out or even overcome.
So, yeah, good luck Page. I'm not going to commiserate you or anything because it was there already, it's actually a plus that you know what it is, and it's not the worst thing in the world if my little bro is anything to go by.

That's exactly how it is. I am incredibly sensitive to sound-- I literally hear everything, which can be a problem if I'm in a big crowd. However, I don't always understand what people say to me the first time they say it, so i either ask them to clarify or they end up repeating themselves to me.

I keep my distance if people are talking loud, and I have to leave when people are yelling near me. I try to avoid clubs and concerts because the sound is loud to the point of being painful. (i also keep a lot of space between me and speakers in cinemas) Of course it could be worse-- some dyspraxics have panic attacks if there's too much sensory input- Mercifully, that doesn't affect me.

At my job I work upstairs in a room with a lot of copiers, printers, phones, etc. Normally, it's quiet up there, so when the machinery isn't running I can hear noises from downstairs and outside, and it drives me crazy. To make it so I can work, I always have a radio playing near me at a reasonable volume-- it helps filter out all the other noises so I can concentrate on my work.

I'm also highly sensitive to light-- I need polarized sunglasses to function outside because sunlight is excruciatingly painful without them.

Temperature also plays a factor-- I like to be in a cold environment at all times (73 degrees fahrenheit or lower) and my boss can't understand why I'm so uncomfortable in an 78-degree room when he feels fine. Too much heat makes me lethargic and gives me a headache.



I've been there. I had to exist in mainstream school all these years. I did fairly well at academics (everything except for math, which is related to my dyspraxia) and I had a very hard time communicating, but P.E. was a nightmare. No one could understand why I couldn't catch or play sports, why I kept falling over (or why I was so easy to knock over for a few people that I can name) and why it took me 20 minutes to run a mile while it took them 8 minutes or less. The hypotonia was also a major problem in P.E since I got tired really quickly, and still do.



When I was younger, I was always underweight until I got into college because the hypotonia makes it hard to add muscle mass, plus my parents kept me on ritalin all those years (which is chemically similar to crystal meth-- that probably played a part in keeping me thin) because they mistook the dyspraxia for ADD since some of the dyspraxic symptoms are so similar.

I've heard that my dyspraxia is neurological in nature, since nerve impulses from my brain get distorted due to poorly formed nerves in my spinal cord. B/c of this, what my muscles end up doing is different than I wanted them to do.

Over the years I haven't found any physical ability or sport that I'm exceptionally good at to help overcome the dyspraxia-- the best that I can hope for is to operate at the break-even point and just keep up with everyone else.

Over the years, I feel like my muscle tone has gotten worse than it used to be-- I really hope it stays where it is.

Well, the fatty acids idea is that, certain fatty acids are needed for the normal development and function of the brain. The theory is that some of those with dyspraxia aren't getting enough fatty acids either through diet or because their metabolism isn't as good at breaking it down. Most of the trials involving dietary supplements suggested major improvements in 3 months, but that was in kids who were still developing like my little brother at the time. However, it'd probably be cheap and easy to try cod liver oil capsules (high in omega 3 fatty acids) for a similar period of time and see if it makes a difference.
This might be of interest

Gotta say I'm surprised at your difficulty with maths, maybe it's part of the general spectrum of disorders. With my brother mathematics is his strongest subject, while English and art were where he failed the most.

I'll talk to my doctor about that.



Most dyspraxics (and people in genral) are good at either one or the other because math and english/art are essentially opposites of each other.

I don't think it really works like that.

Actually people are right or left brain dominant. One side is more technical/critical thinking, while the other is more expressive.

People are l/r dominant, true, what I'm saying is that it's a myth that one side is dominant over the other necessitates impairment of the other.

In other words you can be good at both, but be left handed or right handed, among other split phenomenon.

Unless you can bring proof of that in some citation.

What I remember from Uni was that it's basically a bunch of fluff that people pass around about dominance, like "dominant genes" in Metal Gear Solid.

It certainly isn't due to any lack of resouces, infact, you can live normally with only half a brain.

Impairment, perhaps not, but one is going to come more naturally than the other to people.

*most* people can do both fairly well, but in my case, I'm incapable of understanding anything beyond introductory algebra. The same can be said for another dyspraxic that I know, and she has most of my symptoms, except for the hypotonia and speech issues.

Don't die. If you'll die, you'll lose a very important part of your life.

I don't think that it's possible to die from dyspraxia, but thanks for the concern.