Yeah. Time for a rant on how my life sucks. No Rob - turn off the Linkin Park, please. Some of you have heard some of this, some of you haven't, some won't give a ****. I don't mind - it's just something I need to get off my chest.

I've been suffering from chronic disease, of which the symptoms have started showing only three years back, and they haven't ever been completely gone since. The disease I'm talking about is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and my future pretty much is uncertain because of it. It wears you out, and causes pain in your every muscle. Due to this, school is an issue.

I've spent 3 years trying to get past 4th class (Dutch system), and it simply doesn't work. I'm either too absent, or simply can't bring up the energy to work for school after having been there for several hours already. This leaves me with 5 options; quit school altogether, take a year off, go for special education, go for oriented education or just find a job. The first and last one simply aren't an option for me though, especially because I have no working experience. The worst part, though, is that teh government can't do a damn thing for me. CFS isn't legally recognised in the Netherlands.

Next to that, there's the issue of physical health. The combination of CFS and insomnia doesn't seem to do me much good. i try to excercise as much as I can, but it's hard to try and stay in a fairly good condition, which eventually makes the pain worse. It's what they call a downward spiral. Sports simply are impossible for me, as my body now is worse than it's ever been. At this rate, I'll be lucky to make it past fourty - though there's two things that can happen. Either I get miraculuosly cured, or I'll end up in a bed where the pain and fatigue force me to stay. In the last case, there's something good about my country, and that's legal euthanasia.

Next to all that, there's been a lot of stuff happening around me. My ex-girlfriend told me she only used me for the sex for the 7 months we spent together, she was in love with someone else anyhow. A friend of mine, Nicky, she committed suicide on her holiday. Another is planning on going away from home, and to top it all off; some shrink diagnosed me as being 'passively suicidal', or just lacking the will to live. I suppose they're right, I wouldn't really know. Every day seems to be a hell right now.

I must admit though, with school becoming less (remember, I won't be able to finish this year anyhow), I get more time to just go away and try to get my mind straight. I usually go to a place about 2 hours away from home, where most of my friends live. It's just.. A night of booze, girls and fun, and it's one of the few things next to digital art I can enjoy. However, my parents (they had to roll in this rant somewhere!) claim that I'm neglecting my body just to have fun. To me, it's a way of forgetting the pain. It's a way to just, even if only for 3 hours, live. Doesn't that make it worth it?


Yeah. Do with this whatever you want, I don't mind. This just had to be done.

Nah, venting stuff like that is good. Sorry about your situation

I don't really know what to say, except live it out.

There's always a balance to life; you may have bad luck with things now, but it'll get better, then bad again. Just goes on and on. Like life!

You should learn texturing and start making textures for me.

You should pour all the suffering into diabolical art, and so when you die at fourty, the price of the art will rise considerably, like it always does after the demise of the artist.

Damn that sucks. Keep in there and try not to look on things too negatively. The worst is losing hope.

Is there therapy Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?

Hope everything turns out well for your life. There is always unexpected good things that can come out in the future.

I've heard of it before, actually.

Yeah, there is. I've spent 4 months in a clinic, but it just.. doesn't help. For a while, the symptoms were almost gone, and then they came back.

Get yourself betterm if at all possible. That should be your priority. Take the time to do that, then worry about everything else.

I'm sorry this sounds like a parent thing to say, but: Is alcy such a good idea for your condition?

Sorry about your condition.

Sorry to hear that man :(. Stay cool bro, remember there are people worse off than us who are still mastering life when the experts said they didn't have a chance :). Keep your head up and don't do dumb things for the sake of temporary excitement :p

Make doctors give you pills that make you sleep better. (Can they do that?)

I assume you will get addicted.

Granted, I'm totally ignorant on the matter, but (and I haven't researched it yet) isn't fatigue a result of lack of oxygen being circulated in the blood?

Can you give us some more information on the CFS? Is it genetic or was it something that developed as you got older? What's the root problem of CFS (as in, what causes the fatigue)?

Okay, after some research, I have to ask...

Have you gotten a second or maybe even a third opinion?

-----------------------------------

Okay, here's the thing. I'm going to assume you are a male at an age between 15 and 25. A pretty reasonable assumption.

1) CFS is four times more common in women then in men.

2) CFS is more common in people in their 40s and 50s

3) 20% to 50% of CFS patients also experience alcohol intolerance.
"It's just.. A night of booze, girls and fun, and it's one of the few things next to digital art I can enjoy."

4) "People who suffer the symptoms of CFS must be carefully evaluated by a physician because many treatable medical and psychiatric conditions are hard to distinguish from CFS. Common conditions that should be ruled out through a careful medical history and appropriate testing include mononucleosis, Lyme disease, thyroid conditions, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, various cancers, depression and bipolar disorder."

Are you sure you even fit the definition of CFS?

"CFS is marked by extreme fatigue that has lasted at least six months; is not the result of ongoing effort; is not substantially relieved by rest; and causes a substantial reduction in daily activities."
"In addition to fatigue, CFS includes eight characteristic symptoms:"
* postexertional malaise (relapse of symptoms after physical or mental exertion);
* unrefreshing sleep;
* substantial impairment in memory/concentration;
* muscle pain;
* pain in multiple joints;
* headaches of a new type, pattern or severity;
* sore throat; and
* tender neck or armpit lymph nodes.
"Symptoms and their consequences can be severe. CFS can be as disabling as multiple sclerosis, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, congestive heart failure and similar chronic conditions. Symptom severity varies from patient to patient and may vary over time for an individual patient."

From the way you describe it, the only symptoms you have are that "It wears you out, and causes pain in your every muscle."

...which actually fits many treatable illnesses.

So, again, I strongly urge you to seek a second or even a third opinion from a specialist.

I assume he did. I mean, this isn't a simple ache.

First armchair physics, now armchair medicine!

don't worry. the capt knows all. it's the internet!

gothix knows he has CFS. it's been a problem for a while. hasn't happened just now. so please. stop trying.

get better mate. music soothes the soul.

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it gothicX. I'm ill a lot too so I know how difficult it can be. Not a whole lot I can do for you, but I hope things start to pick up soon. Don't give up on your trips just yet, but cutting down on the booze might not be a bad idea



Except that those 8 characteristics you have listed *will* wear you out and cause pain. He doesn't need a diagnosis, he needs to vent. No one who gets a chronic illness will sit there and take it. The first thing you do is see multiple doctors, have loads of tests and try any number of treatments to make it better.

I realise you're trying to help, but if gothicX has had CFS for this long, he already knows and has done everything you've listed.

I thought things had gotten better for you

Some things you need to be more positive on though.

for example:

A girl was using you for sex.
-most massassians would kill for this opportunity :p

And don't give us that euthanasia rubbish.

THere are many reasons to live, here are a few.

#----------------------

Chocolate, puppies, rock music (or D&B/Dance), girls/sex, booze, computer games, fat hamburgers, fry ups, england winning the footy (ignore that one), massassi, nature (you live in the Netherlands, its beautiful out there), art, poetry (non cheesy), Cups of Tea, Cigarettes.....


#-------------------------



The list goes on-eth.

And lets not forgot, this is the age of medical advancement. Today, there may be CFS therapy. In 5 years, there may be better therapy. In 10 years, 20 years, there
may be a CFS cure.

You have my sympathies dude, as well as my hopes that you get better. (and smack around that b**ch who used you, it'll make u feel better)

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

So, wait..

Cigarettes (death sticks, basically) are a reason to live?

Paradoxical...

indeed!

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

There's been 3 doctors, one of which is on the frontier of research on CFS, who've diagnosed me with it. What I wrote was a short summary. Also, the alcohol intolerance used to be really bad, but I've grown over that bit.

And Ruth, just because you're not getting any doesn't mean the rest of us shouldn't.

Oh, stuff it Emon. I was just trying to help. I know a lot of people that have been misdiagnosed. Apparently, from what I've researched so far, this is especially true with CFS:

Years ago, many people who were tired or nervous were said to have "adrenal insufficiency." The vast majority of these people were not only misdiagnosed but were also treated with adrenal gland extract, a substance that the FDA later banned because it was too weak to treat the actual disease. "Low thyroid" (hypothyroidism) was likewise unjustifiably diagnosed in many cases of fatigue and/or obesity. Today's "fad" diagnoses used to explain various common symptoms are chronic fatigue syndrome, hypoglycemia, food allergies, parasites, "environmental illness," "candidiasis hypersensitivity," "Wilson's Syndrome," "leaky gut syndrome," and "mercury amalgam toxicity." The first four on this list are legitimate conditions that unscientific practitioners overdiagnose. The rest are figments of pseudoscientific imagination.

Only a small percentage of people troubled by fatigue have chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). According to criteria developed by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CFS should never be diagnosed unless fatigue persists or recurs for at least six months and is severe enough to reduce the patient's activity level by more than half. In addition, the fatigue should be accompanied by several other symptoms, such as severe headaches, low-grade fever, joint or muscle pain, general muscle weakness, sleep disturbance, and various psychological symptoms. Consumer Reports has called CFS "a magnet for quacks," and warned that "some practitioners create CFS patients by finding the syndrome in people who clearly don't have it."

http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/fad.html

So, back off, will ya?!

Don't base your opinions on probability.

i dont know much about you but i know you have excellent taste in music and that sir is a good trait.

.

I need to look into your artwork also, gothicx. >.>

Actually that seems like a pretty good way to go about life to me.

goth, man...I know people who have CFS and they lead completely normal lives, as far as I know. And they DON'T resort to girls and booze to get them through. Ever thought about praying for something to work out for you?

gothix.... prayer?

Hahahahahaha.

His soul is black and tarnished and corrupt, and he likes it that way. He wouldnt be gothcx without it :p

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Man, I feel for you. I hope that you find a way through this.

IMO, you should look into some alternative medecine. I have no idea if theres something that might help, but you never know.

What's he got to lose?

My sanity?


Anovis: Well, as a matter of fact, yesterday has been one of the most rewarding days in my digital art 'career', as I was rewarded a Daily Deviation for my most recent work.

Yeah, I don't consider myself a believer but once in a while I pray for money to see if it works. Doesn't take a lot of time.

^That's hilarious! It sounds like the only thing you know about Christianity is that you can pray to get things you want. Like God is some kind of Santa Claus.

I'm not actually saying that's the only thing you know about Christianity...it's just funny the way you wrote it.

I heard at the Forum that they eat FLESH and drink BLOOD.

speak for yourself, scandanavian demon!

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}