Ok, here's the situation.

I have a really close/intimate relationship with my girlfriend, like you should.

She likes to hang out with people (read: other guys) when I'm at work but she always uses the disclaimer "just as friends." She usually fails to mention that she's doing this until after the fact that she hung out with some guy.

She also plays the game of saying she's hanging out with one of her old friends and then later says "Oh, that fell through and I started talking to some guy that's been e-mailing me and came by my work and we decided to hang out."

Ok, so last night she went over to this guy's apartment (just as friends, right?) and they watched some Family Guy. Guy ends up pinning her down and like rape biting her (no sex/kissing just assault type stuff). She then tells me about it tonight and claims she's the victim.

Problem is, this isn't the first time this has happened. Back before we were dating some guy randomly started making out with her and she let him because she "didn't know what to do" and then when we first started dating she was still hanging out with her ex-boyfriend and he basically raped her because she "didn't know what to do"

Question is, should I acknowledge that she's a victim of unfortunate situations and is just naive believing that she can just be friends with guys who are obviously interested in other things or should I just end it?

Discuss.

For the love of god end it.

She's the un-trustworthy type....
"Didnt know what to do" my *SS!

Why bother injuring your pride and ego over her?


Be a man. Lose her.

Seriously, send her packing.

No harshness intended/

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I understand it's a lot easier for me to say this, since I'm not the one in the situation. But Ruthven's right, get the hell out of there before it happens again.

Well...

Sounds like a really dumb chick (no offense) to me. I'd dump her in a heart beat. There is no way your going to build a serious relationship with a woman like that.

While my gut instict says you should take Ruth's advice and get out of there fast, if you're happy with the relationship other than that, you might try talking to her. Tell her to stop hanging out with those guys unless she's doing so in a group. If she argues with you, point out her track record. If she agrees then play it by ear for a bit and see if she's changed. If she has then great, your relationship just got healthier. If she doesn't make an effort to change then lose her quick.

Just try to be objective about it. Make sure you can step back and ask yourself whether or not she's making an effort, and be harsh with yourself on the answer. If she is making an effort, it might be ok to keep things going. If not it'll just be a waste of your time.

So, do you think she is telling these other guys that she's "just hanging out" with you?

I'd dump her.

Smash the guy.

Dump her! NOW!

Get rid of her, after you've gotten her mental help. If she's actually sincere about not wanting intimite encounters with those three other guys, yet she still let them, she needs help. Badly.

After that, find yourself a girl with some more, shall we say, dignity?

May not be anything going on now, but there probably will be later on. Girls who are happy in their realtionships don't go out meeting random guys to hamg out.

okay you guys probably know that I'm usually among the first to jump to a girl's defense, especially when "rape" is involved, but I didn't know what to do is the most pathetic exuse I've ever heard of. If someone's making advances on you and you don't want them to, you tell them to back off, and you push them away. If they keep pursuing you and don't take no for an answer, it becomes serious and it's called sexual assault, and not only do you get the hell out of there, but you get the police involved. If she seriously wanted it to end, it would have, or it would not have stopped with a kiss. And it certainly wouldn't have happened more than once. end of story. Hate to say this, but I would tell you to end it.

I know this sounds callous, but I had a somewhat similar experience with a friend of mine at school. As much as it comepletely schocked and galled me to believe it, someone I know and care about really would use me and my friends like that. ugh.

ps - it's really not the fact that she's hanging out with other guys. I would never ever give up all of my guy friends just because any potential boyfriend I have wanted me to. never. but considering what's happened I would safely assume that that trust has been betrayed with the whole "oh yeah, my friends routinely kiss me and even though I don't want them to, I don't know what else to do so I let them" crap.

.

(You know what, for now on whatever Avenger says, I will agree with unless otherwise noticed.)

It sounds to me like maybe she's got a little history of abuse of some kind and may be kind of mentally stuck in victim mode. Not only does she not handle herself the way normal people should in situations like you mentioned, but she also seems to draw the types of guys who would PUT her in that situation to her. So...here's my suggestion...talk to her about why she doesn't know what to do when that happens, why she hangs out with those guys, and maybe suggest therapy or something since I bet she's got a history. Get her help. If that turns out not to be the case and she's just covering up, you know what to do.

I've found it's best to ask her if she thinks you should stay with her.

"This is how you make me feel. Were you in this situation, what would you do? My gut instincts tell me to find myself a girlfriend who I feel is more sincere. From my perspective, you'd probably do the same thing. So tell me, why shouldn't I?"

Unless you're weak, and you'll just say "Aw baby, I understand" and it'll get better.

Ask her.

Kirbster speaks truth.

This is all very interesting. I just got out of something like this. In fact, it was almost the exact same thing. In any case, she needs to grow up a little and take some charge. If she cant figure out who is good for her, or what to do in certain situations, it’s probably just going to keep going that way until she eventually gets a clue. Though now-a-days it seems girls are becoming more and more clueless, which results in more girls and less women. If I were in your shoes, and I hope they are stylish, then I would leave her alone. If she suddenly realizes that your there for her in the right sense then she has broken many laws to how these situations work. And if that is the case, everyone loves a rebel. If she doesn’t put up a fight for your friendship, she’s not worth it. But hey, it’s your choice. And I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

(p.s. I didn't read anyone elses posts, so this may be what the whole thread consits of now.)

Man, lemme tell you, *****es ain't worth it. Neither is much else. Do your own thing. If she wants a piece, then that's her prerogative. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with what she is willing to give to make the relationship work. Don't trust her, and by all means, don't give in. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that jazz. I'm sure you know the drill, or at least something close to it.

[Disclaimer]Any and all posts made by Ric_Olie while drunk should be regarded as such and listened/not listened to based upon your personal preferences. If my advice sucks, it's because I'm drunk. If it's genius, it's because I'm a genious drunk. Make a good decision.[/Disclaimer]

[Snoop Dogg] *****es Ain't **** But Hoes and Tricks [/color][/Snoop Dogg]

But seriously, that sounds ****ty. I wouldn't put up with that, personally.

I just wanted to emphasise this, and also say that you should talk to her about it even if you do decide to break up with her. I don't know how long you've been together, but presumably you care about her alot. The way I see it, either she's lying to you and she has actually been cheating this whole time, or she really does need help understanding her relationships with men. If it is the latter, whether you decide to be with her or not, you really should try to get her to talk to someone. Those situations she's getting herself into are only going to get more serious.

Yeah it sounds like she's heading down a bad road. Some people have to learn the hard way, but neither of you have anything to lose by having a talk about it.

Be honest with her.

Fixed for what I would probably say.

I think here's how it's going to go. I'm going to talk to her about it. If she decides to be a ***** from that point, I have no problem walking away.

I really have no problem breaking up with people (seriously, I am probably the most callous person you'll ever meet) but I've never dealt with something like this.

Hey at least you got like a whole album's worth of material here

Just find some pills that activate the right hormones and be done with the whole girl thing.

although its sad that she may be the victim, who is she to be going over to some randomn guys house and hanging out with him.

seriously you have to get to know guys better before being alone with them because of that reason. Honestly the guys I have hung around never try anything and if i'm not comfortable they stop immediately

she shouldnt be at those type of places. especially if she has a boyfriend. I mean if she wants to hang out with guys, she should go to public places with like a group of friends or something. not back to his place all alone, that's just asking for it, especially if you dont know the guy

She needs to only hang out with guys in big social group settings. If not, I dont know what to tell you, seems a little shifty on her part to me

Exactly... now I'm to the point where I'm weighing the good relationship/lots of sex against how long it's going to take me to find someone else that'll do the dirtyness with me. My record turnaround for that is 2 days... so it's not that big of a deal I guess.

Girls just wanna have lunch. Oh girls they wanna have, THAT'S ALL THEY REALLY WANTTTTTT! SOMEEE LUNNNNNNNNCH! Girls just wanna have lunch.

you know, I could go for some lunch right about now

tell her to **** off

get a new one, one that isnt useless.

_

Hey, can I get her phone #?

Ditch that bull****.

From what you say about her, I think you should end the relationship (do it with class, be a gentleman) and go find a WOMAN. Girls still have a lot of growing up to do.

word

Up!

Well, the way I see it, if you didn't care that much about this girl than this is prime time to go make out with random people and then tell her what she tells you.

Seeing as it sounds like you care a lot about this girl, just end it. If you stay the way things are you're just going to get hurt. You probably already have been, seeing as you posted this. Do yourself a favor, don't let her walk all over you.

Words of wisdom. Please tell me you have these engraved in stone?

how could someone cheat on massassi's hottest guy?

I didn't know Kirby posted this thread, I thought Schming did.

everyone's entitled to thier own opinion