I’ve decided I am in need of girl advice, so I have come to Massassi in search of many second opinions, which is what I need. It’s a long post, so please bear with me.
I have been dating a girl for about 1 and ½ years now. The relationship started after me pursuing it for about the same amount of time. The time has been mostly good; friends say we’re perfect for each other. We have had about 4 big fights/arguments that have almost ended the relationship, all started by her. I have been saying for a while now that I love her, though now I’m not sure if I love her romantically.
For about the last month I’ve been kind of dissatisfied with the relationship, and in the last couple of weeks I have been very unsure of if I have a future with her, I’ve come to wanting something more. I’ve had these feelings several times in the past, but they have passed in a couple of days, for the first time, they have stuck around for along time.
Don’t get me wrong, she is a good person. She’s pretty, smart, dedicated, usually fun to be with, all those clichéd things, and I do care for her. We can talk, but we often run out of stuff to say, but it seems like whenever we talk about anything serious we usually end up arguing, especially if it’s anything to do with politics and personal beliefs (we agree very well on religious issues). I come out of those encounters with the impression from her that I should feel guilty for not agreeing with her and making her life difficult. She believes she is the moral high ground and anything else isn’t worth considering.
I can do stuff with her and its good, I really enjoy it, but if its just us sitting around, neither of us has anything to say beyond explaining how our day went, and we sit there awkwardly, making some effort to break the silence, usually unsuccessfully, we won’t pickup on any conversation, and like I said before, when its important, it usually ends bad.
We usually do what she wants to do. If I suggest something different that I’d prefer to do, its meet with reluctance, and we do what she wants to do, even if it was she that suggested we do what I want to do. Recently she expressed interest in gaining ‘insight’ into my life, which means doing something I normally do alone, in this case, putting together a computer. I agreed, and tried to explain everything to her and let her help, but she quickly got bored and laid down on my bed, sort of watching, then went to my desktop and checking her email.
The relationship moved very quickly at the beginning since we were good friends when we started dating and she had just gotten out of a ‘dissatisfying’ relationship. She originally wanted to be married by next May, but has now settled for the following May (I graduate this May and she follows next December). I don’t think I’m ready for that, especially with how I feel now. There was a time I was completely ready for it, but as of now, I am not.
Other things to throw out there: I know I’m ragging on her a lot here, and I myself am far from prefect. I have a hard time imagining living a life with her if its like what I think it’d be like. I’ve had dreams recently where I’m with somebody else who is obviously my girlfriend and I don’t seem to have a problem with that.
Maybe this is how all relationships are at some point, or I’m just getting the jitters, or am just having a period where I am bored, I don’t know. What do you guys think I should do? Ask any questions if you want clarification.
I have been dating a girl for about 1 and ½ years now. The relationship started after me pursuing it for about the same amount of time. The time has been mostly good; friends say we’re perfect for each other. We have had about 4 big fights/arguments that have almost ended the relationship, all started by her. I have been saying for a while now that I love her, though now I’m not sure if I love her romantically.
For about the last month I’ve been kind of dissatisfied with the relationship, and in the last couple of weeks I have been very unsure of if I have a future with her, I’ve come to wanting something more. I’ve had these feelings several times in the past, but they have passed in a couple of days, for the first time, they have stuck around for along time.
Don’t get me wrong, she is a good person. She’s pretty, smart, dedicated, usually fun to be with, all those clichéd things, and I do care for her. We can talk, but we often run out of stuff to say, but it seems like whenever we talk about anything serious we usually end up arguing, especially if it’s anything to do with politics and personal beliefs (we agree very well on religious issues). I come out of those encounters with the impression from her that I should feel guilty for not agreeing with her and making her life difficult. She believes she is the moral high ground and anything else isn’t worth considering.
I can do stuff with her and its good, I really enjoy it, but if its just us sitting around, neither of us has anything to say beyond explaining how our day went, and we sit there awkwardly, making some effort to break the silence, usually unsuccessfully, we won’t pickup on any conversation, and like I said before, when its important, it usually ends bad.
We usually do what she wants to do. If I suggest something different that I’d prefer to do, its meet with reluctance, and we do what she wants to do, even if it was she that suggested we do what I want to do. Recently she expressed interest in gaining ‘insight’ into my life, which means doing something I normally do alone, in this case, putting together a computer. I agreed, and tried to explain everything to her and let her help, but she quickly got bored and laid down on my bed, sort of watching, then went to my desktop and checking her email.
The relationship moved very quickly at the beginning since we were good friends when we started dating and she had just gotten out of a ‘dissatisfying’ relationship. She originally wanted to be married by next May, but has now settled for the following May (I graduate this May and she follows next December). I don’t think I’m ready for that, especially with how I feel now. There was a time I was completely ready for it, but as of now, I am not.
Other things to throw out there: I know I’m ragging on her a lot here, and I myself am far from prefect. I have a hard time imagining living a life with her if its like what I think it’d be like. I’ve had dreams recently where I’m with somebody else who is obviously my girlfriend and I don’t seem to have a problem with that.
Maybe this is how all relationships are at some point, or I’m just getting the jitters, or am just having a period where I am bored, I don’t know. What do you guys think I should do? Ask any questions if you want clarification.
