"Someone just broke into my home... AND CLEANED IT!" - Discussion Forum

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"Someone just broke into my home... AND CLEANED IT!"

2006-08-13, 3:39 AM #1

SavageX378

Lizard-Makin' Man

Posts: 3,619

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060811/ap_on_fe_st/mystery_cleaner

Now that's an odd "crime". LAWL

The cake is a lie... THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!

2006-08-13, 7:43 PM #2

Aesiriia

Doesn't have the gall

Posts: 1,032

An interesting state I live in...

2006-08-13, 7:45 PM #3

Joseph T

And the pharmacists

Posts: 516

Heh, hope someone breaks in and cleans my dorm room sometime this year...

2006-08-13, 7:46 PM #4

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

"Yo mumma's house so dirty, burglers broke into that **** to CLEAN it. Not fo merch, but fo clutta!"

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-13, 7:46 PM #5

Stinkywrix

Stinky wrists

Posts: 1,835

I am so going to do that one day. Break into one of my mates home and clean it.

2006-08-13, 9:41 PM #6

Delphian

It's crystal-clear to him.T

Posts: 2,647

Hehehe, bizarre.

2006-08-13, 11:25 PM #7

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

You know who deserves a good cleaning? Kirby. It won't take long, as he has 1/3 of the flesh of real people...

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:31 PM #8

Steven

Doesn't care what his title is

Christmas Cardmaker Extrordinarie

Posts: 5,180

Midgets are dirty. They should have the top 2.25 mm all exposed surfaces lasered off.

2006-08-13, 11:32 PM #9

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

That would practically be half of their entire mass.

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:36 PM #10

Steven

Doesn't care what his title is

Christmas Cardmaker Extrordinarie

Posts: 5,180

I hate midgets.

One time, I was gangraped by a group of rabid midgets.

2006-08-13, 11:36 PM #11

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

What was the male : female ratio?

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:37 PM #12

Steven

Doesn't care what his title is

Christmas Cardmaker Extrordinarie

Posts: 5,180

I don't know how to do ratios when you only have one group type.

2006-08-13, 11:38 PM #13

Jon`C

Admiral of Awesome

Posts: 18,626

The ratio is infinity.

2006-08-13, 11:38 PM #14

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

Touché...
Did you enjoy the raping or the rabies test more?

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:39 PM #15

Steven

Doesn't care what his title is

Christmas Cardmaker Extrordinarie

Posts: 5,180

∞, then.

I don't remember much. I passed out.

2006-08-13, 11:42 PM #16

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

During the test? Did the doctors gangrape you too?

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:49 PM #17

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

Don't be silly, midgets don't have genders! Everyone knows that.

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-13, 11:50 PM #18

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

They reproduce via spores...

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:53 PM #19

Steven

Doesn't care what his title is

Christmas Cardmaker Extrordinarie

Posts: 5,180

Instead of trying to make better computers or more efficient engines or curing cancer, scientists need to invent something useful, some kind of anti-midget spray. Pesky midgets.

2006-08-13, 11:54 PM #20

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

Or we should put door knobs at the top of doors so midgets are forced to remain outdoors.

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-13, 11:57 PM #21

Steven

Doesn't care what his title is

Christmas Cardmaker Extrordinarie

Posts: 5,180

But then we'd have to do something about them attacking the postal carriers.

2006-08-13, 11:58 PM #22

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

I'll let you in on a secret:
Sprinkler System.

Even if a midget has the slightest inclination that you own or have owned or even are considering installing a sprinkler system, he'll avoid your house like it's full of lumberjacks.

Speaking of which, I want you to know that we can still be friends despite your lumberjack friend. Consorting with a lumberjack, however, raises my suspicions that you ARE a lumberjack. You two wouldn't mind going through some tests, would you?

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-13, 11:59 PM #23

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

We could detooth them...or just give postal carriers shin-guards.

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 12:00 AM #24

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

Originally posted by JediKirby:

You two wouldn't mind going through some tests, would you?

I think a similar question led to the original midget gangraping...

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 12:01 AM #25

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

Hey, anal, oral, and general oraface probing is part of the deal. We couldn't help that so many of us were friends with Steven. He had it coming, knowing so many midgets.

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-14, 12:04 AM #26

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

Right. I told him that it was all a lie when they tried to convince him that midget penises...err...peni....more like penettes, really, were like swiss army knives with a wide variety of functions including rectal thermometers. They stacked on top of each other shortly thereafter and slipped a roofy into his drink on the counter.

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 12:15 AM #27

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

Oh, that wasn't a lie. They just didn't use those functions. They were hungry. They wanted more than just a temp reading. They wanted heartrate and a bowl movement.

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-14, 12:20 AM #28

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

So...do midget anuses...ani...anettes double as pencil sharpeners?

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 12:21 AM #29

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

And sausage grinders.

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-14, 12:27 AM #30

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

Midgets are beginning to sound like the product of Ron Popeil and Q from James Bond after a sweaty, exploding, flavor-injecting night in the pool house...

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 12:30 AM #31

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

A lot can happen to two young men trying to discover themselves. Sure, they're brilliant, but who are THEY. Math doesn't matter when you're soul-searching. There is no calculation for love. They had eachother, and that's all a man needs.

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-14, 12:43 AM #32

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

For a hemi-human, you sure know a lot about emotions...

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 12:49 AM #33

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

Originally posted by Roach:

For a hemi-human, you sure know a lot about emotions...

I'm revving my engines.

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2006-08-14, 12:50 AM #34

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

I love it when you talk dirty to me, baby...

omnia mea mecum porto

2006-08-14, 7:06 AM #35

Impi

THX

Posts: 4,686

This thread took quite an unexpected turn. :eek:

Sorry for the lousy German

2006-08-14, 11:16 AM #36

ECHOMAN

"Has it won yet?"

Posts: 17,215

I thought all midgets were males and there was a "Queen Midget" hiding in a hole or something.

SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%

2006-08-14, 11:19 AM #37

-Monoxide-

Banned

Posts: 2,813

Originally posted by JediKirby:

"Yo mumma's house so dirty, burglers broke into that **** to CLEAN it. Not fo merch, but fo clutta!"

Taht might've been the lamest thing I've ever heard.

Ever.

2006-08-14, 5:09 PM #38

Cloud

Big, White, and PuffyY

Posts: 2,965

I bet Mr. Clean helped the cleaning service break in.

2006-08-14, 5:39 PM #39

DEFINOTELY NOT SPE

Banned

Posts: 8,138

I have always dreamed of having two midgets with footprints embedded in the top of their heads.

I can put my foot on each one and then they can walk for me.

2006-08-14, 6:19 PM #40

Roach

Registered User

Posts: 5,275

I'd buy one before I'd buy a segway, that's for sure...

omnia mea mecum porto