What the hell are you talking about?
EDIT: Fine, I'll break it down for you:
A word meaning affirmative or affirmation. In this context I am using the term to denote a sense of dismissive sarcasm.
In this context, the use of the word 'like' indicates sarcasm. Meaning the following event or condition I am going to describe will not happen. To be more specific, I am stating that this person would defeat you in hand-to-hand combat.
This pronoun refers to the boxer in the video you posted.
A contraction meaning 'would not'. Because this is a sarcastic context, the use of the term 'would not' is actually meant to imply that he 'would'.
A verb. In this context, it is used to state that the subject of this article will affect a change.
This pronoun is meant to refer to SF_GoldG_01.
The face is the part of your body that you use to look ugly.
Meaning physical appearance.
See above.
Hamburger is the common term for ground beef. Raw hamburger appears paste-like and bloody.
A titular word indicative of both status and gender. In common English, the use of this term often communicates a sense of respect. In this particular instance its use is sarcastic.
The Internet is a massive telecommunications network used for sending data across a loosely-structured set of computer hardware, physical and wireless connections. A male is one of the two known terrestrial mammalian genders. In this instance, the use of the term "Internet male" is meant to describe a young pissant - perhaps in the area of 14-years-old - who believes he is a much more capable combatant than he is in reality. "Internet males" are often seen attempting to describe themselves as having a high degree of skill in martial arts, a violent temperament, personable, experience with women and falsely claim to maintain a higher standard in sexual partners than they actually do.
I hope this has been informative.
(or MMA practitioner as that seems to be a popular term)