"I have only one burning desire... let me stand, next to your fire!"
Steven grew tired of hearing bands do covers of famous songs, but he was especially tired of hearing this one.
"Let me stand next to your fire!"
"Let me stand next to your fire!"
"Let me stand next to your fire!"
Steven sometimes hated working in a public concert hall. He enjoyed it most of the time, because he got to make lound noises and play with expensive equipment, but sometimes it was frustrating, as was the case with Steven and the Adventure with a Power Outage. Dealing with unprofessional bands was hardly fun, and Steven loathed having to work with people who are unorganized. He also disliked having to hear every aspiring rock band that came through the doors try to play "Fire" with their 'own, unique sound', as the band members liked to put it.
As Steven was cleaning up after the show, he made small talk with a blonde who had been hanging around the stage. She was friends with the drummer, and was present for practice, as well as the show. Steven thought she was quite attractive, for several reasons.
In talking to her, Steven had learned that her mother was a doctor, and her father was an investment banker. Her parents owned several homes, but they chose to spend most of their time at their home in Laguna Beach. She was currently attending the University of Redlands, a somewhat presitgious school, and her father's alma mater, where she was a sophomore in the pre-law program.
She was about five feet, eight inches tall. She had long blonde hair that hung down and covered her her nicely shaped body. She had all the right curves in all the right places. She wore very expensive looking clothes. Steven couldn't tell for sure if they were expensive or not. He had the fashion sense of a blind man. She looked nice, at any rate.
As they left the concert hall, the small group of people began to depart. Steven didn't know if he would ever see the girl again, so he continued to talk to her and followed her to her car. His heart leaped when she unlocked the door to a BMW 6-series. Steven had finally found his long sought sugar-mama.
The girl asked, "What are you going to do now?"
"Not much, probably just go home."
"Do you want to come by my apartment for a little while?"
"Sure."
Steven follwed the BMW in his beat up old car. She lived in an on-campus apartment. He followed her up the stairs and into room 206.
Steven followed the girl into the apartment. He was mortified. The room was covered in garbage. There were clothes and papers littered across the floor. There were old styrofoam coffee cups scattered around, and empty food and takeout packages everywhere. Sitting in the middle of the dirty room was a dirty couch, and on the dirty couch was a dirty person. She wore frumpy, ugly sweatpants and ratty shirt. She was 10 inches too short for her weight. Her hair was in curlers. She had such a bad case of acne, her face looked like a bowl of chili. She was quite unappealing on every level. She was holding a can of beer. There were at least a dozen empty beer cans on the table, couch, and in the surrounding area. She wasn't drinking at the moment, because she was smoking a cigarette. When the cigarette was done, she put it on the table, then finished off another can of beer.
"Uh, this is my roommate. Come over here, this is my room."
Steven became encouraged again when he entered the next room. It was neatly cleaned, with the bed made, the desk organized, and an impressive collection of books stacked neatly on the desk and bookshelves. They sat around and talked for a while. Steven really enjoyed himself just sitting around and talking to her, unlike several previous experiences. She was very intelligent, and he could carry on a very fascinating and fun conversation with her. She was also quite witty and sarcastic, a trait that Steven greatly appreciated.
Their conversation came to a lull, and the girl stood up and lowered the lights and the music. Steven liked where the current chain of events seemed to be leading. Until his phone rang. It was the friend with the beard. The friend with the beard was becoming to become quite an annoyance to Steven, especially after the incident during Steven and the Adventure with the Department of Motor Vehicles, which ended up costing Steven a whole Saturday afternoon, and about two-hundred and fifty dollars.
"Yes?," Steven answered, in a slightly annoyed tone. "What's up?"
"Sorry man, but I just noticed my car has a flat tire, and I really need a ride to work. I already called in sick twice this month."
Steven was a firm believer and follower in the "bro's before ho's" philosophy, and he often had to rebuke his friends for not upholding the unspoken rules.
"Ok, I will be over in a few minutes," Steven replied wearily. "What time do you need to be there?"
"Eleven." The friend with the beard worked the night shift at a local FedEx hub.
"OK, I'll be there soon." Steven hung up.
"Sorry, but I have to go help a friend of mine. He has a flat tire, and needs to get to work soon."
"Oh, that's alright. It's nice to find a person who takes care of his friends." She smiled, and turned the lights back up as she opened the door. Do you want to get together some time soon?"
Steven thought about his schedule for the next few days. "I would really like to, but I have to work pretty late the next few nights, and I have finals and papers due soon after that."
"Oh, I understand," she said sincerely. "Here's my number..." she wrote the seven digits down on a pad of paper. "This is the number for the apartment. I don't have a cellphone. Call me when you get a chance, OK?"
"Absolutely."
Steven entered the number into his phone, but then realized something... he didnt know the girl's name! He was too embarassed to ask her, and didn't want to risk her becoming angry. He glanced around as he walked through the common room, past the trashy piles of debris and human pile of trash, still sitting on the couch. He had spent 4 hours with this girl, three of which were in her room with the doors closed, and he didn't even know her name! Just as he left the room, he noticed a notebook with the name 'Courtney' written on it. "Phew, that's lucky," Steven thought, as he exited the apartment into the hall. "Steven lucks out again."
They said their goodbyes, and Steven went and picked up the friend with the beard. He spent the entire 20 minute car ride talking about the wonderful girl named Courtney he had met that evening.
---
Steven managed to get out going to work for the next few days due to a scheduling error, so he decided to give the girl a call. He waited a day to call her. He didn't want to sound anxious and pathetic. He got her answering machine. "Hi, neither of us are here, leave a message!" The girl's voice sounded cute and sing-songy.
He left an anxious and pathetic message.
"Hey Courtney, this is Steven. I've been thinking about you a lot since the other day... I can't stop. A lot of those thoughts have been somewhat... adult...anyway, I'll be over at The Dirty Bird tonight if you want to stop by. See ya!"
The Dirty Bird was the local college drinking establishment where one could get in with a fake ID. Steven waited at a table for two.
He looked up, and saw her walk in. Their eyes met across the crowded room. She looked at him with longing in her eyes. She walked over to him, and kissed him. All his gray hair turned to black again. His one crooked tooth turned straight. His teeth became 3 shades whiter. She became a succesful lawyer. They were married. Her parents both died, and left them a fortune. They lived in Laguna, right on the beach, and she took care of Steven for the rest of life.
That's what Steven wanted to happen. Of course, that's not how it played out at all.
Steven heard the noisy door squeek open. He looked into the doorway with great anticipation. In walked Courtney-- the fat, smelly, acne girl who was sitting on the couch! "AAAAAH!" Steven cried inside. He had gotten the wrong name, and hte wrong girl!
He quickly jumped up. Maybe chili face hadn't seen him yet. He tossed a twenty down onto the table, and beelined for the back door. He would rather be branded a coward and a liar than spend the evening with a girl with a face that looked like you would dip cornbread in it at a country fair. He escaped.
As he pulled his car around to the front, he looked into the window, and saw her sitting alone. He felt a very slight twinge of pain in his chest. He knew he didn't have a conscience (it had starved to death), she he chalked up to the Italian food he had for lunch, and headed home.
As it turns out, the girl Steven was interested in was named Madison, a name Steven had always found to be attractive. He attempted to contact her discreetly on a number of occasions, but she never replied.
Steven figured he deserved it, but it was no consolation to him, knowing that he had missed his one chance at lifelong happiness and a future of pampering and provision. His dream of being taken care of was crushed. His Sugar Mama was gone.
Steven gave up on his dream of being a parasite, and wallowed in self pity for the next 17 days, until his electricity was shut off, and he was forced to move on.
Poor Steven.
Steven grew tired of hearing bands do covers of famous songs, but he was especially tired of hearing this one.
"Let me stand next to your fire!"
"Let me stand next to your fire!"
"Let me stand next to your fire!"
Steven sometimes hated working in a public concert hall. He enjoyed it most of the time, because he got to make lound noises and play with expensive equipment, but sometimes it was frustrating, as was the case with Steven and the Adventure with a Power Outage. Dealing with unprofessional bands was hardly fun, and Steven loathed having to work with people who are unorganized. He also disliked having to hear every aspiring rock band that came through the doors try to play "Fire" with their 'own, unique sound', as the band members liked to put it.
As Steven was cleaning up after the show, he made small talk with a blonde who had been hanging around the stage. She was friends with the drummer, and was present for practice, as well as the show. Steven thought she was quite attractive, for several reasons.
In talking to her, Steven had learned that her mother was a doctor, and her father was an investment banker. Her parents owned several homes, but they chose to spend most of their time at their home in Laguna Beach. She was currently attending the University of Redlands, a somewhat presitgious school, and her father's alma mater, where she was a sophomore in the pre-law program.
She was about five feet, eight inches tall. She had long blonde hair that hung down and covered her her nicely shaped body. She had all the right curves in all the right places. She wore very expensive looking clothes. Steven couldn't tell for sure if they were expensive or not. He had the fashion sense of a blind man. She looked nice, at any rate.
As they left the concert hall, the small group of people began to depart. Steven didn't know if he would ever see the girl again, so he continued to talk to her and followed her to her car. His heart leaped when she unlocked the door to a BMW 6-series. Steven had finally found his long sought sugar-mama.
The girl asked, "What are you going to do now?"
"Not much, probably just go home."
"Do you want to come by my apartment for a little while?"
"Sure."
Steven follwed the BMW in his beat up old car. She lived in an on-campus apartment. He followed her up the stairs and into room 206.
Steven followed the girl into the apartment. He was mortified. The room was covered in garbage. There were clothes and papers littered across the floor. There were old styrofoam coffee cups scattered around, and empty food and takeout packages everywhere. Sitting in the middle of the dirty room was a dirty couch, and on the dirty couch was a dirty person. She wore frumpy, ugly sweatpants and ratty shirt. She was 10 inches too short for her weight. Her hair was in curlers. She had such a bad case of acne, her face looked like a bowl of chili. She was quite unappealing on every level. She was holding a can of beer. There were at least a dozen empty beer cans on the table, couch, and in the surrounding area. She wasn't drinking at the moment, because she was smoking a cigarette. When the cigarette was done, she put it on the table, then finished off another can of beer.
"Uh, this is my roommate. Come over here, this is my room."
Steven became encouraged again when he entered the next room. It was neatly cleaned, with the bed made, the desk organized, and an impressive collection of books stacked neatly on the desk and bookshelves. They sat around and talked for a while. Steven really enjoyed himself just sitting around and talking to her, unlike several previous experiences. She was very intelligent, and he could carry on a very fascinating and fun conversation with her. She was also quite witty and sarcastic, a trait that Steven greatly appreciated.
Their conversation came to a lull, and the girl stood up and lowered the lights and the music. Steven liked where the current chain of events seemed to be leading. Until his phone rang. It was the friend with the beard. The friend with the beard was becoming to become quite an annoyance to Steven, especially after the incident during Steven and the Adventure with the Department of Motor Vehicles, which ended up costing Steven a whole Saturday afternoon, and about two-hundred and fifty dollars.
"Yes?," Steven answered, in a slightly annoyed tone. "What's up?"
"Sorry man, but I just noticed my car has a flat tire, and I really need a ride to work. I already called in sick twice this month."
Steven was a firm believer and follower in the "bro's before ho's" philosophy, and he often had to rebuke his friends for not upholding the unspoken rules.
"Ok, I will be over in a few minutes," Steven replied wearily. "What time do you need to be there?"
"Eleven." The friend with the beard worked the night shift at a local FedEx hub.
"OK, I'll be there soon." Steven hung up.
"Sorry, but I have to go help a friend of mine. He has a flat tire, and needs to get to work soon."
"Oh, that's alright. It's nice to find a person who takes care of his friends." She smiled, and turned the lights back up as she opened the door. Do you want to get together some time soon?"
Steven thought about his schedule for the next few days. "I would really like to, but I have to work pretty late the next few nights, and I have finals and papers due soon after that."
"Oh, I understand," she said sincerely. "Here's my number..." she wrote the seven digits down on a pad of paper. "This is the number for the apartment. I don't have a cellphone. Call me when you get a chance, OK?"
"Absolutely."
Steven entered the number into his phone, but then realized something... he didnt know the girl's name! He was too embarassed to ask her, and didn't want to risk her becoming angry. He glanced around as he walked through the common room, past the trashy piles of debris and human pile of trash, still sitting on the couch. He had spent 4 hours with this girl, three of which were in her room with the doors closed, and he didn't even know her name! Just as he left the room, he noticed a notebook with the name 'Courtney' written on it. "Phew, that's lucky," Steven thought, as he exited the apartment into the hall. "Steven lucks out again."
They said their goodbyes, and Steven went and picked up the friend with the beard. He spent the entire 20 minute car ride talking about the wonderful girl named Courtney he had met that evening.
---
Steven managed to get out going to work for the next few days due to a scheduling error, so he decided to give the girl a call. He waited a day to call her. He didn't want to sound anxious and pathetic. He got her answering machine. "Hi, neither of us are here, leave a message!" The girl's voice sounded cute and sing-songy.
He left an anxious and pathetic message.
"Hey Courtney, this is Steven. I've been thinking about you a lot since the other day... I can't stop. A lot of those thoughts have been somewhat... adult...anyway, I'll be over at The Dirty Bird tonight if you want to stop by. See ya!"
The Dirty Bird was the local college drinking establishment where one could get in with a fake ID. Steven waited at a table for two.
He looked up, and saw her walk in. Their eyes met across the crowded room. She looked at him with longing in her eyes. She walked over to him, and kissed him. All his gray hair turned to black again. His one crooked tooth turned straight. His teeth became 3 shades whiter. She became a succesful lawyer. They were married. Her parents both died, and left them a fortune. They lived in Laguna, right on the beach, and she took care of Steven for the rest of life.
That's what Steven wanted to happen. Of course, that's not how it played out at all.
Steven heard the noisy door squeek open. He looked into the doorway with great anticipation. In walked Courtney-- the fat, smelly, acne girl who was sitting on the couch! "AAAAAH!" Steven cried inside. He had gotten the wrong name, and hte wrong girl!
He quickly jumped up. Maybe chili face hadn't seen him yet. He tossed a twenty down onto the table, and beelined for the back door. He would rather be branded a coward and a liar than spend the evening with a girl with a face that looked like you would dip cornbread in it at a country fair. He escaped.
As he pulled his car around to the front, he looked into the window, and saw her sitting alone. He felt a very slight twinge of pain in his chest. He knew he didn't have a conscience (it had starved to death), she he chalked up to the Italian food he had for lunch, and headed home.
As it turns out, the girl Steven was interested in was named Madison, a name Steven had always found to be attractive. He attempted to contact her discreetly on a number of occasions, but she never replied.
Steven figured he deserved it, but it was no consolation to him, knowing that he had missed his one chance at lifelong happiness and a future of pampering and provision. His dream of being taken care of was crushed. His Sugar Mama was gone.
Steven gave up on his dream of being a parasite, and wallowed in self pity for the next 17 days, until his electricity was shut off, and he was forced to move on.
Poor Steven.
).
