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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Letters for the good of college life.
Letters for the good of college life.
2006-09-19, 6:31 PM #1
Basically, address an annoying trend or bothersome daily issue of on-campus college life (but in letter form!) Maybe, small things that make you frown slightly or produce an ounce of anger or vexation in your mind? Dorm-life, campus, fellow students, etc.

I'll start:

Quote:
Dear students who partake in eating in the cafeteria,

When you put scrambled eggs on your plate for breakfast, please refrain from dropping the whole spatula when returning it to the main scrambled eggs serving dish. This concerns me for two reasons: first, the handle of the spatula, where people have been touching, is now among the tasty eggs, and, secondly, people have to put their (probably unwashed) hands into the serving dish to reach for the handle. If you can't understand this, please stop eating and die.

-With love,
Elliot
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2006-09-19, 6:36 PM #2
Hah, you're name is Elliot.

[http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0083866/ETCVLG_ET-FS29.jpg]
Elllliiiooott!
2006-09-19, 7:26 PM #3
What's worse is that he thinks dorm cafeteria scrambled eggs are yummy. :eek:
Pissed Off?
2006-09-19, 7:28 PM #4
I moved out of the dorms, so thank God for that. But while I was in there...

Quote:
Dear Male Students,

Is it really that hard to flush after yourself?

-Signed,
Josh
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2006-09-19, 7:28 PM #5
While I was hinting at sarcasm, the eggs here actually aren't that bad. And the sausages. I had much worse. But that's a different story.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2006-09-19, 7:32 PM #6
I went in a friend's dorm, it had a sign in all the male showers.

"Male students,

Don't masturbate in the showers.

Signed,
The Management"
"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor
2006-09-19, 7:35 PM #7
"Dear Students:

I suck.

-fishstickz"

:ninja:
2006-09-19, 7:39 PM #8
Dear Fellow Residents,

11 PM and onwards are quiet hours for a reason. Being drunk is not an excuse to be loud and keep me awake when I have classes in the morning.
Stuff
2006-09-19, 7:43 PM #9
"Dear Idiots,

At 11PM tonight theres gonna be a kegger on this floor.

-The Lolarpop Guild"
2006-09-19, 7:46 PM #10
Dear Asian Students...

Please take the time to learn the language before coming to our country, we try very hard to accept you but there is a limit.

Thank You.
2006-09-19, 7:49 PM #11
Dear black people,
stop being so stereotypical. seriously, its kinda rediculous.
-me
free(jin);
tofu sucks
2006-09-19, 7:58 PM #12
Quote:
Dear Residents,

When cooking pizza or similar, boxed items, please remove the food item from the box before attempting to cook it in the oven.

Thank you.

-local fire department


Quote:
Dear Residents,

Smearing feces on the toilet, walls and other surfaces in the restroom does not count as art, nor does it make you 'cool'.
Please refrain from doing this again as repeated instances of this will result in nothing being cleaned ever again.

Thank you.

-The custodial staff

^^^Acctual request my freshmen year^^^
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
2006-09-19, 8:04 PM #13
Wow. Hahah
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2006-09-19, 8:12 PM #14
Yeah, I've gotten that warning before on my floor.
$do || ! $do ; try
try: command not found
Ye Olde Galactic Empire Mission Editor (X-wing, TIE, XvT/BoP, XWA)
2006-09-20, 6:44 AM #15
Dear Sweetmates in room 135,
Would it be a problem if you could start supplying some toilet paper sometime this year?
sincearly,
your broke sweetmates in room 133
Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2006-09-20, 7:09 AM #16
Dear graduating students of Richmond Regional Highschool,

Please realise that I have full and total control over the money being saved for your graduation trip and ceremony. Comply to the following or I will be forced to spending this precious money on my next car.

Stop being dumb ****s.

Ooops, sorry, thats asking too much isn't it? Hmmm, a RX-8 would be nice.

With care,
your student council treasurer,
Jean-Philippe


Aaaaah the good old days when i was in highschool. Can't believe its already almost 6 years ago.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2006-09-20, 8:21 AM #17
Dear people next door,

I know we live in a hotel, but ********* could you go get a room elsewhere so I don't wake up to you people ****ing and banging on the wall?

Thanks,
your future assassin.
$do || ! $do ; try
try: command not found
Ye Olde Galactic Empire Mission Editor (X-wing, TIE, XvT/BoP, XWA)
2006-09-20, 11:07 AM #18
Dear Dining Hall staff:

Being open for only an hour from 4:30 to 5:30 does not account for the $30,000 we are paying. Get some real hours or you will be shot.

Thanks,
Everyone
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2006-09-20, 11:51 AM #19
Dear Girls,
Stop wearing those stupid pointy-toed shoes. They look hideous.
Thanks,
Guys
"Flowers and a landscape were the only attractions here. And so, as there was no good reason for coming, nobody came."
2006-09-20, 12:37 PM #20
Dear fifth-floor freshmen,

You don't know it yet, but you're about to be buried in coursework. Shut up, start studying, and let me sleep.

Thanks,
Mike
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2006-09-20, 12:41 PM #21
Dear Blonde hos...

Nobody cares how much you partied last night and whose penis you had in you... please for the love of God stop openly sharing how pathetic you are to the rest of us in the caf by screaming it at the top of your lungs to your ditzy friends.

Thank you.
2006-09-20, 1:32 PM #22
Originally posted by sugarless5:
Dear Dining Hall staff:

Being open for only an hour from 4:30 to 5:30 does not account for the $30,000 we are paying. Get some real hours or you will be shot.

Thanks,
Everyone

:eek:
wow, that seriously blows. write a bunch of letter to the school prez or something.
$do || ! $do ; try
try: command not found
Ye Olde Galactic Empire Mission Editor (X-wing, TIE, XvT/BoP, XWA)
2006-09-20, 1:42 PM #23
Dear Asians, Blacks, Mexicans, and Jews,

Please stop taking all the math courses. Also, why do you steal our bikes? I'm guessing you use them to steal our jobs.

Thanks.

- Allin Jest

P.S. I need your help on some accounting.

P.S.S. ...and stop starting all the wars!
Think while it's still legal.
2006-09-20, 3:34 PM #24
Quote:
Dear fellow students,

Flan is suppose to be eaten, not played with. Having fun poking flan with your fork makes you look stupid. Luckily, we won't have flan as a dessert available too often.

Sincerely,
Elliot

.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2006-09-22, 12:29 AM #25
Dear University,

Please start running the shuttles. Working on the newspaper from four in the afternoon until two in the morning is tiring enough. I don't need to get mugged on my way home too.

Thanks,
Mike
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2006-09-22, 12:46 PM #26
The shuttle system here isn't too good too.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2006-09-22, 1:02 PM #27
Dear College students.

Stop being idiots. once you hit the real world it's not funny to yell obnoxiously in the night.
"NAILFACE" - spe
2006-09-22, 10:49 PM #28
Originally posted by 7:
Dear black people,
stop being so stereotypical. seriously, its kinda rediculous.
-me

^2

Dear Girls,

Please quit dating people far away.

See page 2 for undersigned
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2006-09-23, 12:14 AM #29
Dear Students,

Please try to remember that I cannot mark 100+ 10 page lab reports overnight, so don't ask for your marks back the day after you hand them in.

Also, unless you're dying, I don't care about your excuses or life story. Even if you are dying, it better be within the next week.

Sincerely,
Me
2006-09-23, 12:15 AM #30
Dear students shouting outside my window,

Go home and die.

Thanks,
Mike
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2006-09-23, 3:57 AM #31
Quote:
Dear Students,

We understand that on Freshers' Week you will want to get inebriated often and to a severe degree. However, you are still expected to retain control over at least some of your higher brain functions. The insurance deposit we all paid on moving into our rooms is not a license for you to throw plates through windows, nor should you take it upon yourselves to redecorate the corridors by flinging slices of ham and cheese down them.

Yours sincerely,
Jay

This all happened on the first night, by the way.
2006-09-23, 6:56 AM #32
Dear Former Students of Mine,

Please stop coming to parties I go to. Thanks.

- Signed, Josh
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2006-09-23, 7:23 AM #33
Originally posted by Elana14:
Dear Sweetmates in room 135,
Would it be a problem if you could start supplying some toilet paper sometime this year?
sincearly,
your broke sweetmates in room 133

At my last college my roommate and I had this same problem with the guy we shared a bathroom with. We just started keeping the toilet paper we bought in our room and bringing in the roll as we used it so the ******* wouldn't just empty half the roll to take into his room to use for blowing his nose. After a couple of days he realised he needed to buy his own damned toilet paper when there wasn't any in there.
"It sounds like an epidemic."
"Look, I don't know what that means. But it happens all the time." - Penny Arcade
Last.fm

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