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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Cheesy action movies
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Cheesy action movies
2006-10-06, 12:52 AM #1
I've realized that I am absolutely in love with cheesy action flicks. Overblown, over-the-top action, horribly-written lines... it's all great. Jason Statham kicking *** with a firehose in "The Transporter 2", the famous "I'm the Juggernaut, *****!" line from "X-3", pretty much the entirety of "The Fantastic 4", the first-person sequence in "Doom", Milla Jovovich beating up aliens to the beat of a rock/opera song in "Fifth Element"...

Anyways, faithful Massassians, I call upon you to recommend to me some other similarily awesome movies.
Stuff
2006-10-06, 1:03 AM #2
Hell yes!

Sadly, I can't think of anything right now that you wouldn't have seen.

The first fight scene between Neo and the Agents in Reloaded is a prime example, though.
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2006-10-06, 1:05 AM #3
Oh yeah, the one with the big metal pole. That was awesome.
Stuff
2006-10-06, 1:09 AM #4
I wholeheartedly recommend Showdown In Little Tokyo "starring" Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee, which is from the same guy who directed Commando. It features heart-stopping action, suspenseful moments, and such unforgettable lines as "Just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you that you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man."
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2006-10-06, 1:12 AM #5
Agent. The Agent.
If you like DBZ, the third movie had a fight ripped straight from it. Also, some awesome stuff with Sentinels.

-Of course, no fight scene quite tops the "Sunglasses" one in They Live.
2006-10-06, 1:12 AM #6
Uh, Last Action Hero?
omnia mea mecum porto
2006-10-06, 1:14 AM #7
Watch Die Hard.

Then watch it again.
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2006-10-06, 1:16 AM #8
On the wild off-chance you haven't seen "Revolutions", this is what some nerds (and my Grandma, who'd never seen any of the Matrix movies before) refer to as the "Hand of God", a swarm of sentinels that... well, you have to see the movie to understand.

-Some guy on this other forum was *****ing about how the Hand of God doesn't make any tactical sense. It's still ****ing insane. If I saw one, I'd wet myself. In a heartbeat.
Attachment: 14229/sentinels hand of god.jpg (68,089 bytes)
2006-10-06, 1:31 AM #9
Have you seen Crank? Because you need to, now.
2006-10-06, 1:42 AM #10
I wouldn't call the Fantastic Four an action movie, there was barely any action in it at all.


No cheesey action list would be complete without the classics:

The Die Hards
Terminator 2

-crap, I had a few more in my head to list, but now they are all gone ><
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2006-10-06, 2:52 AM #11
Hey, I didn't think Die hard was cheezy :(. Thought parts of Max Payne was cheezily good :)
"The only crime I'm guilty of is love [of china]"
- Ruthven
me clan me mod
2006-10-06, 3:20 AM #12
any jet li movie... cause he kicks ***

check out 'kiss of the dragon'.. i mean he takes on like 30 black belts at the same time in this movie
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2006-10-06, 3:30 AM #13
Commando has to be on the list. The scene where Arnold rips that seat out of the car, only to sit down where it used to be, is a defining moment in the absurdity of cheesy action flicks. I don't see how you can top that, just so perfectly random and violent.

If you've never seen Darkman, it's pretty bizarre and has weird action sequences. The style is very similar to Tim Burton's Batman, released a year earlier. Sam Raimi directed this one. One of the best lines was, "If you're not going to kill me, I've got things to do."
2006-10-06, 3:37 AM #14
I'm not a fan of Jet Li, not a fan at all. But I did like The One.
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2006-10-06, 3:39 AM #15
Originally posted by tinny:
Hey, I didn't think Die hard was cheezy :(. Thought parts of Max Payne was cheezily good :)
It wasn't cheesy, but it was the best action movie ever. John McClane is the biggest badass ever and he's not even trying to be.

And kyle, not the fight scene against all the Agent Smiths, the small one at the very begining when Neo says "Upgrades".
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2006-10-06, 3:53 AM #16
Originally posted by Deadman:
I'm not a fan of Jet Li, not a fan at all. But I did like The One.


how could you not like someone that can kick a pool ball out of a table pocket and then into someones forehead?
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2006-10-06, 4:41 AM #17
Originally posted by Z@NARDI:
how could you not like someone that can kick a pool ball out of a table pocket and then into someones forehead?

If you were the one he was kicking it at? For, like, no reason whatsoever, the jerk.
2006-10-06, 5:46 AM #18
Hell ****ing yes, the Doom first-person piece was so ****ing cheesy yet so damn awesome.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2006-10-06, 5:55 AM #19
Originally posted by SMOCK!:
Watch Die Hard.

Then watch it again.


Done and done. One of my all-time favourites.

Originally posted by Deadman:
I wouldn't call the Fantastic Four an action movie, there was barely any action in it at all.


That's true, but the parts that were... hell it is great just for the line "It's clobberin' time!"

Also it had the most ridiculous technobabble ever. "Don't get hotter than 5,000 degrees or you'll set fire to the atmosphere" WTF??
Stuff
2006-10-06, 6:29 AM #20
The Resident Evil movies
"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor
2006-10-06, 6:29 AM #21
Wait, how has no one said SNAKES ON A MOTHER****ING PLANE?
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2006-10-06, 6:56 AM #22
Originally posted by SMOCK!:
Wait, how has no one said SNAKES ON A MOTHER****ING PLANE?


Because the trend is dead.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2006-10-06, 8:51 AM #23
Starship Troopers.

Best bad movie ever. It's got more cheese than a pizza convention.
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2006-10-06, 9:01 AM #24
THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA
2006-10-06, 9:03 AM #25
Oooo I've got more...

True Lies - You've probably seen it already; Arnie, action, cheese. See it again.

Last Man Standing - Bruce Willis as a gangster in a retelling of A Fistfull of Dollars. Cheesy action comes in the form of Willis with unlimited ammo dual pistols that send people flying 20+ feet.
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2006-10-06, 9:40 AM #26
I prefer the older cheesy action movies

Commando, Rambo II, Kickboxer I, No Retreat No Surrender, Police Story I-IV, Bloodsport, Robocop I, Beverley Hills Cop I-II, Lethal Weapon I+ (numericals are there for a reason, don't get out kickboxer 2 etc unless you want to punish your eyeballs).

and it doesn't get any better than Big Trouble in Little China

Fight scene in matrix revolutions pulled from DBZ?

One of the DBZ movies or what?
2006-10-06, 9:43 AM #27
Originally posted by Z@NARDI:
check out 'kiss of the dragon'.. i mean he takes on like 30 black belts at the same time in this movie

thats an awesome scene.
free(jin);
tofu sucks
2006-10-06, 9:47 AM #28
Last Action Hero
True Lies
Army of Darkness
American Ninja (I think that's what it's called...it's quite good)
Kindergarten Cop

All are wonderful flicks.
2006-10-06, 10:25 AM #29
Originally posted by Masq:
Commando has to be on the list. The scene where Arnold rips that seat out of the car, only to sit down where it used to be, is a defining moment in the absurdity of cheesy action flicks. I don't see how you can top that, just so perfectly random and violent.


Yes, and throw in The Running Man and Total Recall for other Arnold movies.
Pissed Off?
2006-10-06, 11:29 AM #30
Originally posted by Z@NARDI:
any jet li movie... cause he kicks ***

check out 'kiss of the dragon'.. i mean he takes on like 30 black belts at the same time in this movie

You mean the scene with the kali sticks? My Sifu choreographed that scene...
omnia mea mecum porto
2006-10-06, 11:33 AM #31
Originally posted by Jepman:
Because the trend is dead.
The trend being doesn't make it not an awesome cheesy action movie.
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2006-10-06, 11:34 AM #32
Ong Bak and Kung Fu hustle are different but totally awesome in their own right.

/_\

?
2006-10-06, 12:04 PM #33
Originally posted by GHORG:
Fight scene in matrix revolutions pulled from DBZ?

One of the DBZ movies or what?

The big one at the end between Neo and Smith. All they needed was the hair and the energy beams.

-I used to think "Because I chose to" was a bad comeback, but I really thought about, and he's just re-asserting his humanity in contrast to Smith's inhumanity. Smith thinks Neo's doing this because it's his purpose, and cannot fully comprehend choice.
2006-10-06, 12:12 PM #34
Originally posted by kyle90:
= pretty much the entirety of "The Fantastic 4"


Some movies are so bad that they are oddly good. But not that.


Did anyone mention Aliens? Come on, Aliens!
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
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2006-10-06, 1:53 PM #35
He said cheesy action movies, not good ones. ;)

Also, the Rambo movies are quite chessy.
Pissed Off?
2006-10-06, 2:47 PM #36
Were there any old movies that AREN'T cheesey action flicks?
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2006-10-06, 2:49 PM #37
I understand Guns of Navarone was a pretty heavy film.

-I should see it some day...
2006-10-06, 3:24 PM #38
How about "Demolition Man?"

MURDER DEATH KILL MURDER DEATH KILL
2006-10-06, 3:32 PM #39
I love Demolition Man.
Borken Arrow is another one.
Not terribly good, but it's got some moments.
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
2006-10-06, 4:20 PM #40
Judge Dredd too.
Pissed Off?
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