I'm not trying to steal Steven's style, but I had a story that I needed to share. (A more poorly written and less amusing story might I add.)

So last friday, a few friends and I went to the movies to see Borat. We all met up at KFC to get something to eat before the movie. Corey and Brian come wandering in laughing and snickering and they tell me that I should be more careful about locking my doors. I shrug it off as them being stupid and the night goes on. We finish eating and I get to my car to find the inside of it covered with ribbons and confetti.

My friend Brian was driving with my other friend Corey, and they thought it would be HILARIOUS if they acted like even bigger jerk-offs on their way to the movies.

I was driving behind Corey who decided to go 25 MPH on a 50 MPH road, just to piss me off. At first I didn't care. A few miles down the road and I was ready to kill him. I could see the back of Brian's head moving all around from laughter, and I knew Corey was just being a dick to impress Brian so I called up Corey's phone....

"Stop being a dick."

'Kid, look at all the cars behind us. There has to be at least 10 of them.'

"I know. Stop being a dick. Drive the f***ing speed limit before I murder you!"

'LOLOLOLOLOLOL'

[Brian in the background] LOLOLROFLLOLOLLAMO

*click*

I wanted to run his car off the road at this point. He continued to drive really really slow, and the cars continued to pile up behind us. I called him back...

"If you don't stop being a moron I am going to piss all over your car. I'm not kidding. Keep it up and see. I'll piss all over your car. Remember that large soda I drank at KFC? I'm going to piss it all over your car."

'LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...Okay, yeah.'

*click*

So he continues to drive slow all the way to the movies. We park our cars, and I get out of my car, walk over to his, unzip my pants and tell Corey that I am not going to piss on his car. He laughs and starts to walk in the theater. I stay behind and proceed to piss all over his car. Most of my urine covered his doors handle and the rest just splattered all over his doors. I meet up with them inside and we buy our tickets.

Corey leans over to me before the movie starts and asks me if I really pissed on his car. I tell him I did. He doesn't believe me.

The movie ends and we get back to the parking lot. The night was cold and so my piss had frozen on his car. A nice sticky frozen layer of my freshly brewed lemonade was splattered on Corey's car. He notices the shimmering piss and starts yelling at me. I'm not sure why he was mad at me. I told him I was going to piss on his car and he gave me the 'okay' and I even told him after I did it. Oh well.

He starts to kick me, and then he walks over to my car and tells me that he is going to dent it. So he kicks it a few times. It didn't dent. I wasn't really worried about a dent anyway. I pull a napkin out of my pocket and open his door, I tell him I'm not cleaning it and that it was payback for the ribbon, and grandma driving. He leaves to go home.

Brian decides to stay behind and chat for a while. Our other friend Paulo was around and he said that he would give Brian a ride home. I go to ask Brian a question and Paulo shoots me with his airsoft gun. I quickly run for cover behind my car. I pop open my trunk and search for my much more realistic looking airsoft gun. I find it, and when I do I run over to Paulo's car pointing the gun at him through the window. Paulo and Brian notice something that I didn't. They raise their hands in the air and start to yell.

"Please don't shoot me! What do you want money? Please. Come on guy. It was just a joke!"

'Get the f**k out of here! Come on!'

Paulo puts his car in drive and skids off like a crazy person. I start to laugh at them for being silly, but I stop laughing once I turn around and notice a woman in her car with her lights on. This is why Paulo and Brian pretended to be in real danger. To make me look like a crook. Nice prank guys. This lady sees me holding a gun and laughing at these two scared people driving away. I toss the gun in my trunk and close it. The lady turns off the light in her car in a bit of a rush and starts to make a cellphone call.

Uh oh. I call Brian and Paulo and explain to them what just happened. Brian feels bad, but he's still laughing at the situation I've been put in. They are already half way home so they aren't coming back. He suggests that I just drive home. Sticking around wasn't a good idea, so I took his advice and drove home. I was parked long enough that a blind person could have gotten my plate numbers already. Ah crap...

I take the turn onto my street and I approach my driveway when all of a sudden I notice a-


To be continued...

wtf is this ****? to be continued?!

You peed on his car?

YOU PEED ON HIS CAR?

Oh great, another wannabe writer.

Your story needs more sex and explosions. I think it should continue with a sexy lady cop "arressting" you, with random things exploding in the background. Perhaps you having a rock-off contest with some ninjas.

Damn you! How did you guess how it ended?!

P.S. I won the rock-off contest but the ninjas got angry and captured my young adopted brother....I mean, WHAT brother?

No no, this is the point where you tell those who don't like your story/writing style that they don't undertstand how stories are ment to be written...

Airsoft guns are required by law to have an orange ring around the tip of the barrel to avoid this kind of nonsense.

Except, you know, in those places where the orange isn't required.

Except, you know, a parking lot full of people isn't one of them. :downs:

Continued...

I take the turn onto my street and I approach my driveway when all of a sudden I notice a man sitting in my backseat.

Confused and fearful, I stir the car violently to the side of the road and burst out of the car, ready to kick this stranger's *** and pee on him. As I opened the backdoor, fist clenched and ready to hit, he just glared at me with a mocking smile.

"What the hell are you doing in my car?" I asked, blood pumping.

"I'm Jepman lol!" the stranger answered.

Suddenly, the familiarity hit home and I recognized him from the pictures on the Massassi forum.

"WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE???" I screamed in surprise.

From beside him, he lifted a keyboard and waved it at me.

"To teach you a lesson."

"Huh?" was all I had time to say before the displayed keyboard crashed against my face. The momentum of the hit sent me sprawling to the pavement. By the time I had turned around to face Jepman, he was on his feet starring down at me, the keyboard, broken in half hung in his hand.

"What lesson do you want to teach me???" I yelped under my huge nose.

"STOP WRITING CRAP!" was all I heard before the keyboard slapped at me again and again.

Then i cried, vowing never to write again.

The end.

Jepman ****ing wins.

Ribbons & what not would be annoying.

"Grandma-driving" is just stupid and immature.

Pissing on someone's car is even more immature.

I rate this story out of :gbk::gbk::gbk::gbk::gbk:

Leave the adventures to the professionals.

I filled my friend's pickup truck cabin up with balled up peices of paper once.

It was awesome. I had to take a day off of work to do it, and it took like.. 5 hours. But his reaction was so worth it. I heard him driving up (he was carpooling with a friend) and I heard "DAMN YOU, [happydud]!! DAAAAAMNN YOOOOOUUUU!"

His mom was standing there, and he fell out of the car, screamed "Et tu, mother!?" and then "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN."

To be fair, it was in retaliation for covering my car with sticky notes.


I also helped him empty his car of all the paper. And then we burned it in his driveway. Coolest video ever...

"It's not really burni-oh woah. There it goes. Wow, that's getting hot, I'm going to move back now."

tooooooo long of a pause.

Yeah SAJN, hurry up and post the rest.

Blueballing people only works when you're a good writer.

Well here's your first tip: obviously he didn't get gunned down by the police because he's posting this thread, so the story doesn't have a happy ending.

and the suspense woulda been better if you hadn't ended with a ... AND I SAW A.... [TBC lol]

Ha ha, RAGNA ANGRY.

How old are you?

How old are YOU!? Didn't you start posting here when you were 13 or something? ( )

(for the record, the question was directed at SAJN, not Steven)

Airsoft guns are federally required to have the orange tips during import but you can legally remove them except in Cities/Counties/States where there is a local ordinance.

I'm pretty sure it is a federal crime however to pretend its a real weapon and point it at someone.

...deer crossing the road. I missed it. 2 seconds later another deer ran across the street about a foot from my car. I missed him too. I pulled into my driveway and walked into my house.

THE END.

LOL, ANTICLIMAX! *Running in the 90's*

(I'll be 18 on the 20th)

You and your friends are very immature.

I don't know about everyone else, but I enjoyed it! If I was a guy, that would be something I would probably do - pee on my friend's car. But, alas, I am not male.

I'm sorry Aglar. We were not sitting at home discussing politics and sipping iced tea. You make it sound like every day we run around and prank each other and piss on cars. It was one story out of a million.

/puffs on pipe and fixes monocle.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]I'm sorry Aglar. We were not sitting at home discussing politics and sipping iced tea. You make it sound like every day we run around and prank each other and piss on cars. It was one story out of a million.

/puffs on pipe and fixes monocle.[/QUOTE]

*shrug*
You peed on your friend's car.

...and it felt so good.

Poser.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]...and it felt so good.[/QUOTE]
:downs:

I lol'ed

You peed on his car...

I'd pee on his car. That's awesome.

I'll pee on your face, semen-mouth.

Hahaha.

Your friends just keep you around to be a dick to you.

I can't believe you're "that guy." No wait, I can.

Some guy once smeared ketchup on my truck. So then I stole a bottle of ketchup from his house and put it all over his car. Funny thing was; my truck is red which makes ketchup not a particularily effective substance to use. Then I drove through a big puddle which washed all the ketchup off. And then the same guy was attempting to drink from a bottle of ketchup so I squeezed the bottle and it went all over his face; we all got a good laugh out of that. Then he proceeded to attempt to shove a hotdog into his nostril.

DISCLAIMER: Everything in this post is 100% true.

P.S. Oh and my friend peed on the guy's car to go along with the ketchup.

I liked happydud's story more than the one about the pee on the car.

How long ago was it you were touting how mature you are, how grown up you are, etc etc? And you peed on someone's car?

Hypocrisy ftw.