First off, I'd like to thank Microsoft for thinking they know exactly what I want and when I want it. It really irriates the hell out of me.

I have 19 pages of emails that I need to place in Excel. Don't ask, it's a job my mom didn't want to do for work, so it got handed to me. It's all good though, because I'm getting paid to do it. However, every frekaing time I put one of these emails in, Excel feels the need to make it a damned Hyperlink. I DON'T WANT HYPERLINKS. I also don't want to sit there and make all of these damned things un-hyperlinked when I finish.

So is there any GODLY way to turn that crap off?

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Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me,
You told them all I was crazy,
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee, God damn you.
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Frogblast the Vent-Core!

Ctrl+K. Hyperlinks off.

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[insert various humourous anecdotes here]