I know almost nothing good can come of this, but whatever.
So yesterday, i'm on myspace, and I get a friends request from somebody I know, but im not really friends with. I click accept anyways.

Today, I wake up to a comment from him, telling me that he and like two of his friends want to kick my ***. Huh? I've never even done anything to this guy and infact I try and make it a point to be civil to people I don't really know all that well.

So massassi, what do I do? Do I

A) Just ignore it?
B) Procede to talk Trash
or
C) Schedule a fight and tell the entire school that a fight is going to happen so they all show up?

Somehow I think B will lead to C.

if you have ideas that aren't any of those, please feel free to share!

A)

He and his friends are obviously major league dolts.

Explain to them that you don't wish to fight but if you're forced to, you'll smash their ****ing faces in. There are so many times in high school when I talked my way out of fighting people that I could have destroyed (I was once very close to being jumped by 2-3 guys because one of the guy's ex-girlfriend, whom I didn't know, whom hated his guts, had a crush on me). I wasn't scared, and I wasn't afraid of getting in to trouble, I was simply very laid back and didn't want enemies. Some people just need a good beating. However, if you're not a decent fighter, I would recommend going to a school counselor with as much evidence as you can gather.

Oh, and if you get in to a fight, go for eyes, balls, or whatever it takes to hurt those ****ers so bad that they think twice the next time they mess with someone for some retarded reason. Hit them once for me, please.

A.

Was this really due a thread?

It's an obvious answer.

Send your myspace page to your school administrators.

Ignore them, but be ready to defend yourself if you have to.

or respond with "heh, yeah nice one anywho, how's it going?"

Avenger has the best advice out of all of you.

All though I am quite sad to lose 3 potential friends, especially since those guys are all probably pretty amazing.


edit: this thread is now dedicated to kittens.

Who needs friends when you have the internet.

Luckily I have some of the best friends ever in Real life and on the internet! Two for one! Or something like that.

Eyes and Balls? Eh no. Hitting someone in the eye does what... gives them a shiner? Big whoop. And hitting a guy in the balls is beneath you, and everyone will think you're a jerk. Hit them in the nose, then wail on them with body shots. You only need to hit an eye once, just because it leaves nice visible evidence of their *** whoopin. But it's the hit to the nose that takes them down. It's guaranteed to put them off balance and open them up for a real *** kicking.

Yeah.. don't ever hit a guy in the nuts. It's just low.

Anyone who has to get his friends to help me beat someone up is a pansy.

Ever thought of getting pepper spray?

Buy a knife. Carry it on you. I have a knife will me every moment of every day.

You should post his myspace here, so we can continually bombard him with messages.

Who remembers when a similar thing happened to me with "Dick Feely."

I think DSetthar was contacted by the same person, and we called their ISP and I think we deduced it was Pugler.

My parents really freaked out though. It was sort of funny. (It was through AIM, not myspace.)

Also Isuwen- I disagree.

If you're in regular fights, sure, whatever. But if someone comes up to you with three or four of his friends, I'm going to win that fight, and I'm going to win any way I can.

If that means crotchshots, then so it goes.

I have a story to tell:

My taekwondo instructor once told us the secret to winning a fight against ridiculous odds (as in, you vs 50 people). If you can provoke one person to come after you, take whatever punches they throw, but first chance you get, rip out his eye. After you rip out his eye, pop it in your mouth, chew, then swallow.

This causes an inevitable reaction: "Holy $@*%ing #*$%!!! This guy is insane! He just ate that dude's eye!!!!"

The fight will end, right there. None of the other 49 are going to come after you, because you've proved you'll go to any means to end the fight. Even if it means eating someones eye, right off the


That's a funny anecdote, but really, if you're being attacked, honor has no place in a street fight. Especially if you aren't a physical even match for the person attacking you.

Go for the balls, dude. Grab on, and squeeze until you feel jelly.

Dude, thats my anti-rape jail strategy!

THAT GUY HAS PLAGARIZED MY IMAGINARY FEATS OF BAD ASSERY!

just ask him why he wants to kick your ***...

Yeah. Trust the Massassi gang wars experience.

Sigh, it's a time like this that we need Gold's advice.

I WAS GOING TO POST THIS EXACT SAME THING.

EW! F***, DUDE. NO. DON'T STERILIZE THE DUDE FOR LIFE!

Who said anything about hitting? I was talking about gouging his ****ing eyes out and ripping his ****ing balls off. I don't know about you, but if I'm getting jumped, I'm aiming to disable as many people as possible. Maybe you can take out 2-3 guys with kicks and punches but the average man can't, and I'm guessing that Stinky here is an average man, like the rest of us. As a matter of fact, you'd have to be fighting some real retards if 2-3 guys can't take you out by yourself. If you get jumped, take those ****ers out by any means necessary. This isn't "The Chinese Connection", it's real life, and in real life, getting jumped by 2-3 people can often lead to serious injury. Hell, I saw 5-6 teenagers beating the **** out of a guy at a concert in Virginia earlier this year. They busted a bottle on his head and kicked his face until he was unconscious.

I'm fairly sure that if he knows he's about to be jumped and ends up killing someone with a knife, there's a certain amount of premeditation involved there. Your weapon is your mind. If you can't solve this problem with words, either kick their asses or talk to someone about it.

It was their choice to attack me. If they do, they picked the wrong fraking victim.

Say you fend a guy that's trying to hurt you off. Or, you knife him and he dies. His friends could conceivably come after you.

You jellify his testicles, and you've earned yourself a reputation, and no one is going to mess with you.

Unless they wear a cup. Then you're screwed.

Hell yes! If someone wants to go around threatening people they barely even know for no apparent reason, I'm all for their removal from the gene pool.
MONKEY STEALS THE PEACH!

Okay, that is officially awesome.

That's sweet. The name is freaking hilarious.

I agree with happdud. If you're a one on one fight, going to for the groin is low, but if you're about to get jumped by three people, the rules get thrown out the window. When I was taking martial arts, my instructor always said that you should try to end the fight with as few blows as possible, meaning you're trying incapacitate the person. They can't fight back that way.

That makes sense.

But tearing the guys nuts off with my hand? I'd be perfectly fine with just giving them a black eye, breaking their nose at the most.
I think tearing their nuts off might just be going a little to far. I'm just going to ignore them anyways, but if they try to start more crap it'll be me starting the fight.

edit: not saying that move isn't useful though.

I don't think you will take the time to consider what is "moral" when you are standing in front of 3 guys at a break of a fight...

Then again, I'd have a hard time following thorough with that. And if I did, that would probably be an acutely unpleasant sensation that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

A) I'm not saying tear them off. That would be messy. Just squeeze and turn them to jelly.

B) I'm also not advocating you go and try to get into the fight, then use method A. I'm a big advocate of, in this situation, ignore him. Do nothing to provoke him, just be aware of your surroundings for the next week or so.

And then if they come at you... MONKEY STEALS THE PEACH.

The throat or the temple are also good places to strike if you want to win quickly. Knuckles + Temple usually knocks someone out.

Hahaha picking a fight on MySpace. What pussies.