I'm always afraid I'll be on one of these lists 
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
Slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
waiting in line back at Bank of America .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a
photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the
license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through
a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
(Please note that all of the above people
are allowed to vote)
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
Slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
waiting in line back at Bank of America .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a
photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the
license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through
a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
(Please note that all of the above people
are allowed to vote)
