bash.org / #massassi thread. Go.

kooooorlin: dude I f*****g backed up into this car today!
lhendz: what the hell. how'd you do that?
kooooorlin: There was this f******g seagull in the parking lot at best buy like eating someones tire and I was watching it while backing up.
lhendz:.....
lhendz: what'd you do?
kooooorlin: waited for the person to come back, and when they did, they looked at their car, then at mine, and said "SOMEONE HIT OUR CARS!"


* Seb changes cocks
<Seb> *socks


<Sine_Nomen> <Brad> !seen maeve|shower <-- you wish


<Homicide> I would rather hump myself in the *** so hard that i become a quantum singularity than to look at anything to do with that movi, MW
<silence> can you do that? please?
<Homicide> fiiiiiiiiiiiiine
* Homicide humps
* Tony tears out his eyes and screams.
*** Homicide is now known as blackhole
<silence> wow
<silence> that's... that's messed up


<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers


<Shadow> what the f**k
<Shadow> my moniter just went black
<Shadow> then came back on
<&Aphrodite> You're lucky
<&Aphrodite> I heard normally they never go back

I have this one bookmarked. I wish I could claim it as my own

IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for ******* ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow **** even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"

*saved*

-Reminds me of the Mask: "Our love is like a red, red rose, and I am feeling very thorny."

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
All of my base,
Are belong to you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Skeet skeet skeet skeet
I'm am love you

<Thrawn42689> Someone make #massassi stop sucking so much.
* gammasts has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
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<Thrawn42689> Much better.
* Greenboy puts a cork in #massassi
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<Greenboy> o.O
* Juz` has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
* Succubus has joined #massassi
* ChanServ sets mode: +v Succubus
<Greenboy> OMQ QUIT FL00D
<Thrawn42689> mmm
* JL|project`journey has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
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<Greenboy> ...
<Greenboy> byebye massassi
* HR_-_zzZZ has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<NoESC> what in the world
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<Greenboy> thrawn = evil
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<Flexor> so I go to the store next to it and buy myself a Dr.Pepper, which btw I've never ever tried in my whole life
<Flexor> then I take a sip of it, and I *actually* said "sweet mother of kak" out loud as a man walked by. needless to say he gave me a funny look!

How did I get into a chatlog, I've stayed away from it for years now o.0

Translated from german-bash.org:
<Telefonmann> My daughter at the zoo the other day: Look daddy - there are linuxes!

<Sodaya> gimme rights in the channel
<shin> no
<Sodaya> why?
<shin> because you're austrian
<shin> the last austrian we gave op led us to total war


<b3z> I'm rl buddy of libexec
<b3z> gimme voice
<b3z> pls
<BPK|DasBaum> libexec is a bot you idiot


<Konso> Woohoo. 96,7 % downloaded
<Päder> of?
<Konso> 100 %

Untranslated:

<bob777> Hi, how do you say "I want to go to Germany" in german please?
<Zerberus> "ich möchte diesen Teppich nicht kaufen"
<bob777> thank you

Now presenting the best of Brian!


* kak signs Brian up for anger management classes.
*** kak was kicked by Brian (I'M NOT ANGRY WHAT THE MOTHER F******* HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT B****!?!?!?!)



---------------------------------------------------------------


<Brian> behave or die




---------------------------------------------------------------

<Brian> ubuu, I'd rather smash eAch of my fingers with a sledge hammer than make you an admin
<Brian> (no offense)

---------------------------------------------------------------


*** Brian is now known as You
* You suck

---------------------------------------------------------------


And the ever elusive Kedri:

<Professor`K> "Unfortunately, no one can be told what Kedri is. You just have to experience it for yourself."


so very true.

I really should spend more time in the massassi chatroom. Oh well.

A personal favourite:

<Ishionu> Is raping a prostitute shoplifting?

<maeve> heheh, I just measured myself

---------------------

<Gebohq> I have chronic lazine..s... ugh, that word is too long

---------------------

<mavispoo> sometimes I get the feeling that the whole world is covered in my bogies
<Ford> what a nice thought...
<Jin> ugh... a chocolate milkshake made with sour milk doesn not taste good..
<Ford> ...
<mavispoo> eeewwwww
<mavispoo> don't tell me stuff like that!!

--------------------

* Ford prons pr0nb0t
<]-[ellequin> ...!
* pr0nb0t feels violated

--------------------

* Ford brings a sackfull of doorknobs to Deadman's nuts quite rapidly.
<Deadman>
* Hades appears behind Deadman and gives him a wedgie, kupo
* Deadman makes a note of this, thanks Ford for the doorknobs, and keels over quietly

* Jon`C juggles pianos.
<Jon`C> I rule.
* Jon`C fumbles. Several people die.

<Burrie> W00t, now I'm the only op in here...
* Burrie puts out the iron fist.

<Mentis> Welcome to the great text adventure.
<Mentis> What is your name, traveler?
<Mentis> >
<landfish> landfish
<landfish> > landfish
<Mentis> Hello landfish. You are at a park. You can see tree to the north, a marsh to the west, and hookers to the south.
<Mentis> >
<landfish> > look at trees
<Mentis> You look at the trees and notice one of them has a hole at the base.
<Mentis> >
<landfish> > investigate the tree
<Mentis> You move closer to the tree to investigate further. You notice something shiny in the hole.
<Mentis> >
<landfish> > pick up the shiny thing
<Mentis> OH SNAP! NINJAS!
<Mentis> landfish has died

About the only thing I've got saved anywhere:

<Draco> sC1, how do you fancy a long distance relationship?
<sC1> with a brit?
<sC1> no thanks
<Draco> Why not?
<sC1> nothing against the british
<sC1> plane tickets are way too expensive
<Nikumubeki> And hygiene horrible
<Nikumubeki> OHLOLS
<Draco> I have a "boat"
<sC1> eek you just reminded me of austin power's teeth
<sC1> a boat?
<sC1> a plastic raft doesn't count
<Draco> well, it's a one man "vessel"
<dud|fooding> >.<
<sC1> that sounds creepy
<Draco> It's yellow, long, and thin
<dud|fooding> yellow?
<seb> yellow?
<dud|fooding> That sounds unhealthy.
<Draco> What, it's a kayak
<seb> got some case of the viet fever here
<Draco>

<EDIT>
I found one of Brian

<Brian> I'd rather tie my arm to a telephone pole, get in my Jeep and drive away at 60mph, thus ripping my own arm off, than make you an op.

<Brian> I meant, I'd rather gouge my own eyes out with rusty spoons laced with e-coli than let you on the staff.

He never liked making ops did he
</EDIT>

Brian almost made me an op once cause he thought I already was one. Shoulda lied >.>

I'm gonna post a bunch of ones that I was in, just cause I have to flaunt my ego:

<]-[ellequin> <CoolMatty> Nerd nerd blah blah nerd? <Jon`C> geek geek nerd blah nerd <CoolMatty> Geek geek blah blah nerd blah geek <Jon`C> Nerd geek blah nerd blah geek

<spud> I bet there's a place called "Op Land". It's where all the ops go when they're not here, and while they're there, they get repaired and updated, because they're really Robots.
<spud> yeah, you're all Robots!
* spud was kicked by Flexor (BZZT BZZT ERROR.. MALFUNCTION... BZZT.. KICK KICK D-D-D-D-DESTROOOYYY)
<CoolMatty> In Op Land, no one can hear you scream.

<heeb> snow is strangely comforting to me. everytime i see it i go into a short coma.
<CoolMatty> heeb: thats b/c you have no heat. U need to pay your bills
<heeb> oh.

<+Oberfeldwebel> How the hell did you get to be an op?
<+Oberfeldwebel> Your mentally unstable.
<+CoolMatty> thats a requirement for being an Op at #massassi