Speaking of giants, this is a giant of a post. 7 pages, 2,383 words in Microsoft Word.
“Steven!”
“What?!” Steven finally paid notice to who was calling him, and failed to notice that he could no longer hear the sobs.
“You… you’re going to hell.” The friend with the beard had an awkward look on his face, and a sad, regretful tone in his voice.
“Probably.”
“No probably, you’re going straight to hell.”
“Yeah…” Steven had a look of melancholy plastered on his face as he sighed.
A small balance scale, for no apparent reason, rushed through the air, past several bystanders, and lodged itself in Steven’s forehead. Steven fell backward and hit his head on the floor. He let out a groan; his eyes watered and began to close as he was forcibly thrust into oblivion.
---
It was another Thursday. Calculus during zero period, then English, chemistry, history, lunch, art, and computers. Another long Thursday.
“Did you do the homework”? The friend with the beard approached Steven in the hallway in front of the chemistry lab.
“No. I tried, but the moles were annoying so I gave up.”
“Me too. Let’s steal Red’s and copy it.”
“Ok.”
They entered the chemistry lab, and took their usual seats on the right side of the classroom, furthest from the door. Red walked in a few moments later.
“Hey, do you guys need my homework?”
“Yes.” Steven and the bearded friend chimed in unison.
“Here it is.”
As Steven and the hairy-jawed friend copied the hand written homework, they failed to notice the meanest, largest, evilest girl in the whole school take the seat behind them. Jen, the rabid she-bear, had a personal vendetta against Steven. She did not like Steven, not at all. At least, she didn’t externally. Steven thought she completely adored him, but put on a show to mask her true feelings. Steven was quite arrogant, though, and may have been incorrect. They didn’t notice that she had sat down behind them, but Steven did notice that the air around him suddenly became very still and cold.
Jen was six feet tall, nearly as tall as the shining paragon of manliness that she, supposedly, secretly admired. She had dyed her hair hell-fire red, but the roots were still black, to match her cold, twisted heart. Her maladjusted attitude did not make her an outcast, but instead attracted other cold, evil girls as sidekicks, cronies in her quest to terrorize our valorous hero into submission. Her green eyes were actually quite pretty, despite the fact that they were part of the face of an evil she-manatee. She wore dark black makeup around her eyes to detract from the sinful red glow that shone from her pupils, and dark red lipstick was painted upon her vile, poisonous lips.
“Ok, everyone sit down.” Mr. Herbert. The chemistry teacher quieted the room down.
“We have a lab today, so everyone go get your safety equipment and choose a lab partner.”
The whisker-faced friend stood up, headed for the cabinet with the rubber aprons, goggles, and latex gloves, while Steven continued to copy Red’s homework. Jen the Giant also stood up and headed for the cabinet, being sure to “accidentally” hit Steven in the head with her elbow as she passed.
Having completed his task, Steven also put on his equipment.
“OK, now we’re going to learn to combine….” The instructor explained the experiment. Steven and the bearded boy clowned around, not paying much attention to what the instructor was saying.
“So what do we combine the calcium with, Mr. Valadez?”
“Huh?”
“The calcium, Mr. Valadez. What do we combine it with?”
“Um… H2O?”
“Very good.”
Steven sighed. He had gotten lucky.
“How much?”
Steven didn’t know.
“I don’t know.”
“Then pay attention.”
Steven frowned.
“Haha, stupid.” Jen the Giant gorilla sneered.
“How much H2O, Miss The Giant?”
Jen the Giant didn’t know either. She had been, undoubtedly, too preoccupied with imagining evil things to do to the virtuous, noble champion of light.
“Then perhaps you should pay attention as well…. As a matter of fact, I want you to switch partners.”
Steven’s eyes widened. Jen’s villainous face became even more gnarled as her eyebrows furrowed to show her disapproval, when her depraved, iniquitous lips made way into a twisted, wicked smirk. The bearded friend stepped away, and took his place next to the Giant’s little crony, Aimee, and Jen moved to occupy his spot.
“I guess we’re partners now, stupid.”
“That’s much better. Now, I hope you can pay attention.” Mr. Herbert then began a long discourse on why paying attention to instruction is very important, particularly when dealing with dangerous chemicals. At least, that’s what Steven thought it was about. He wasn’t really listening. He was too busy wondering if his parents had paid up on the medical insurance.
---
“Hand me that beaker there, please.”
“Here, stupid.”
The shining beacon of nobility, Steven, and Jen, Satan’s representative of sin and abomination on the earth, were now 30 minutes into the chemistry lab. They had been getting along well enough thus far. They mostly ignored each other, choosing instead to carry on conversations with the other people around them. Jen was talking to one of her underlings about how popular and attractive she was.
“Another one of her vile, poisonous lies,” Steven thought.
“And then me and Michael went shopping. We looked at some shoes, and he bought me a pair of nice sunglasses! He likes me so much…
“Not even dogs can like you…”
“…He even took me to a concert! But when we got there, we were separated, and I couldn’t find him…”
“That was his plan,” Steven thought.
“What did you say, stupid? Stop mumbling like a little fool, and speak up.”
Apparently, Steven had inadvertently spoken it out loud.
“I said that was his plan. No one finds you attractive.” Steven decided to man up and stop keeping everything to himself. “You’re absolutely the most abhorrent, appalling, and unappealing hag I have had the misfortune of encountering in my entire existence. The reason you could not find the imbecile at the concert is because he had a sudden realization of who you were, and couldn’t bear to spend another moment looking at your monstrous, grotesque face, or hear your raucous, caustic, voice, or smell your noxious odor. The repulsive and vile atrocities that spew from your distorted mouth and oozes from every one of your cancerous, disgusting pores was too much for him. He probably ran off and killed himself to escape you, the poor, stupid fool.”
Jen the Giant’s evil, twisted face instantly became even more evil and twisted. Her eyes projected a dark, ominous red light, and she grew a pair of pointed red horns from her temples. Her fangs grew to the size of Steven’s left thumb (which was slightly larger than his right), acidic saliva dripping from the sharp points. Her hair flew into the air as if thrown by a violent wind, thrashing like a thousand serpents hungry for blood. She grew two feet taller, and her ghastly, pale skin turned the color and texture of an over ripe avacado.
Steven looked into her fierce, malevolent eyes, frightened for his life. He was on the verge of a breakdown, when he noticed something. Something he never expected to see. Something no one had ever imagined would be found in the eyes of this deranged, demented giant. He saw a tear. The small tear was hardly noticeable through the thick black smoke proceeding from her nostrils, but it was certainly there. It began to grow. It began its slow descent down her scaly, green skin. Then another appeared. Then another, and another. Soon, her eyes were raining tears. Her skin began to pale, from dark green to an ashen shade of gray, as if the tears were washing the wickedness from her flesh. Her eyes changed from the red of the fiery pits in Hell to the red eyes of a lost child crying for his family. Her beastly fangs shrunk back into her mouth, and her horns disappeared. He hair fell back to her shoulders as tears continued to soak her quivering, thin lips.
Suddenly, the part of Steven’s conscience that caused him to feel ashamed and regretfully began to activate. Unfortunately, that part of his mind had been removed to make more room for his ego, so Steven smiled a wicked smile and had a glint of satisfaction in his eyes. Jen the humbled Giant noticed this, and could not bear it. She stepped slowly away from Steven, knocking over several beakers of chemicals onto the counter. She slowly turned, then quickly fled the room as the teardrops continued to fall, carrying away all the evil and malevolence with them, leaving only brokenness and despair
“What did you do?” All the students began to murmur, and a few spoke up.
“What did you say to her?” “Did you hit her?” “Why is she crying?” “Where did she go?” “What happened?”
Jen the now departed Giant’s sidekick, Aimee, piped in.
“Steven said mean things to her and made her cry!”
Aimee was five-foot nothing and weighed a hundred-and-nothing. She had shoulder length, light brown hair, and pale blue eyes. Not a pretty sort of pale blue, but the pale blue of a deranged lunatic. Her face resembled that of a 30-week old fetus, and her limbs could have been mistaken for those of Frosty the Snowman. Her voice was scratchy and deep. If a cigarette could talk, it would have sounded like Aimee.
“You’re a bad person.”
Everyone in the room agreed. Mr. Herbert, who was rather deaf, was trying to figure out what had occurred, and why everyone seemed to be in a slight frenzy. Aimee described what Steven had said to Jen the Gigantic, and asked to be excused to go find her. Permission granted, she went out to look for her sobbing friend.
“What did you say to her?” The friend with the beard hadn’t overhead the conversation, as he was too busy trying to impress one of the girls in the class. “Why is she crying? What did you tell her?”
“That she was ugly and stupid and annoying,” Steven replied sheepishly, “and that people kill themselves to get away from her.”
Sobs from the hallway could be heard over the noise of the students.
“You do know that her mom died when she was ten, right?”
Steven grimaced, “Yeah, now that I think about it, but that’s not why I said it.”
“Yeah, right,” chimed in another of Jen’s disciples. “You’re evil. You’re so mean! Why are you so mean?”
The classroom buzzed with talk of how bad a person the misunderstood saint was.
“Steven, you’re evil!” “What the hell is wrong with you?” “Why would you say that!”
“Steven, Steven, Steven.” “Mean, evil, mean.” Those were all the words Steven could hear. They echoed in his head. He stared out the door of the laboratory into the hallway, where he could still hear sobs.
“Steven… Steven?”
Steven wasn’t listening.
“Steven!”
“What?!” Steven finally paid notice to who was calling him, and failed to notice that he could no longer hear the sobs.
“You… you’re going to hell.” The friend with the beard had an awkward look on his face, and a sad, regretful tone in his voice.
“Probably.”
“No probably, you’re going straight to hell.”
“Yeah…” Steven had a look of melancholy on his face as he sighed.
A small balance scale, for no apparent reason, rushed through the air, past several bystanders, and lodged itself in Steven’s forehead. Steven fell backward and hit his head on the floor. He let out a groan; his eyes watered and began to close as he was forcibly thrust into oblivion.
---
Steven could barely see the faces of several students crowding over him. It was difficult to see them, because he had something in his eyes, and on his face. It was something warm, wet, and sticky.
“Don’t move!”
“Someone went to get the nurse!”
“Get some paper towels!”
“Oh my god!”
“What happened?” Steven didn’t know why he was lying on the floor, why the girls were screaming, or why his face was covered in his blood. He liked the first two conditions, but the third ruined the situation.
Mr. Herbert calmed the panicked students. “You were hit in the head. Don’t worry, you’re fine. We sent for the nurse.”
“DUDE! Jen totally threw the chemical scale at you! She hit you right in the head!”
“Dude, you got knocked the hell out!”
“You were out for like 20 or 30 seconds!”
Steven groaned. His forehead felt like someone was poking it with a running jackhammer.
The nurse finally arrived, and wiped off Steven’s face. She helped him to his feet, and had him take a seat.
“Now, you hold still. An ambulance will be here in a few minutes. You got hit pretty bad!”
Steven groaned again, and closed his eyes.
---
“Well, that takes care of that. Just a cut and a bump.”
The doctor had finished sealing the large hole in Steven’s head. Fortunately, he didn’t have to stitch it shut; he was able to use a medical variation of super glue.
Steven and the school nurse walked out of the hospital, and back to the nurse’s car. They had been unable to get hold of his parents, so the nurse had taken care of the details.
When they arrived back at school, he saw Jen getting into her father’s car. Her father was yelling at her, as she cried.
“What happened to her?” Steven was confused.
“She was expelled. We absolutely do not allow fighting in school.”
Steven headed to the nurse’s station, where he would spend the rest of the day waiting for school to end. His parents still hadn’t been reached, so he was going to walk home when school let out. His friends stopped by to see how he was between classes.
“So… how do you feel?” The friend with the beard asked.
“Crappy.”
“I bet.”
“I’m going to have to be very good for the rest of my life.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to go to hell.”
“Or you may as well enjoy it, you’re going to hell anyway.”
Steven punched his friend in the stomach, then fell back onto the little green cot and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the constant explosions of intense pain in his head. He then felt a new pain, this time in his stomach.
“Steven!”
“What?!” Steven finally paid notice to who was calling him, and failed to notice that he could no longer hear the sobs.
“You… you’re going to hell.” The friend with the beard had an awkward look on his face, and a sad, regretful tone in his voice.
“Probably.”
“No probably, you’re going straight to hell.”
“Yeah…” Steven had a look of melancholy plastered on his face as he sighed.
A small balance scale, for no apparent reason, rushed through the air, past several bystanders, and lodged itself in Steven’s forehead. Steven fell backward and hit his head on the floor. He let out a groan; his eyes watered and began to close as he was forcibly thrust into oblivion.
---
It was another Thursday. Calculus during zero period, then English, chemistry, history, lunch, art, and computers. Another long Thursday.
“Did you do the homework”? The friend with the beard approached Steven in the hallway in front of the chemistry lab.
“No. I tried, but the moles were annoying so I gave up.”
“Me too. Let’s steal Red’s and copy it.”
“Ok.”
They entered the chemistry lab, and took their usual seats on the right side of the classroom, furthest from the door. Red walked in a few moments later.
“Hey, do you guys need my homework?”
“Yes.” Steven and the bearded friend chimed in unison.
“Here it is.”
As Steven and the hairy-jawed friend copied the hand written homework, they failed to notice the meanest, largest, evilest girl in the whole school take the seat behind them. Jen, the rabid she-bear, had a personal vendetta against Steven. She did not like Steven, not at all. At least, she didn’t externally. Steven thought she completely adored him, but put on a show to mask her true feelings. Steven was quite arrogant, though, and may have been incorrect. They didn’t notice that she had sat down behind them, but Steven did notice that the air around him suddenly became very still and cold.
Jen was six feet tall, nearly as tall as the shining paragon of manliness that she, supposedly, secretly admired. She had dyed her hair hell-fire red, but the roots were still black, to match her cold, twisted heart. Her maladjusted attitude did not make her an outcast, but instead attracted other cold, evil girls as sidekicks, cronies in her quest to terrorize our valorous hero into submission. Her green eyes were actually quite pretty, despite the fact that they were part of the face of an evil she-manatee. She wore dark black makeup around her eyes to detract from the sinful red glow that shone from her pupils, and dark red lipstick was painted upon her vile, poisonous lips.
“Ok, everyone sit down.” Mr. Herbert. The chemistry teacher quieted the room down.
“We have a lab today, so everyone go get your safety equipment and choose a lab partner.”
The whisker-faced friend stood up, headed for the cabinet with the rubber aprons, goggles, and latex gloves, while Steven continued to copy Red’s homework. Jen the Giant also stood up and headed for the cabinet, being sure to “accidentally” hit Steven in the head with her elbow as she passed.
Having completed his task, Steven also put on his equipment.
“OK, now we’re going to learn to combine….” The instructor explained the experiment. Steven and the bearded boy clowned around, not paying much attention to what the instructor was saying.
“So what do we combine the calcium with, Mr. Valadez?”
“Huh?”
“The calcium, Mr. Valadez. What do we combine it with?”
“Um… H2O?”
“Very good.”
Steven sighed. He had gotten lucky.
“How much?”
Steven didn’t know.
“I don’t know.”
“Then pay attention.”
Steven frowned.
“Haha, stupid.” Jen the Giant gorilla sneered.
“How much H2O, Miss The Giant?”
Jen the Giant didn’t know either. She had been, undoubtedly, too preoccupied with imagining evil things to do to the virtuous, noble champion of light.
“Then perhaps you should pay attention as well…. As a matter of fact, I want you to switch partners.”
Steven’s eyes widened. Jen’s villainous face became even more gnarled as her eyebrows furrowed to show her disapproval, when her depraved, iniquitous lips made way into a twisted, wicked smirk. The bearded friend stepped away, and took his place next to the Giant’s little crony, Aimee, and Jen moved to occupy his spot.
“I guess we’re partners now, stupid.”
“That’s much better. Now, I hope you can pay attention.” Mr. Herbert then began a long discourse on why paying attention to instruction is very important, particularly when dealing with dangerous chemicals. At least, that’s what Steven thought it was about. He wasn’t really listening. He was too busy wondering if his parents had paid up on the medical insurance.
---
“Hand me that beaker there, please.”
“Here, stupid.”
The shining beacon of nobility, Steven, and Jen, Satan’s representative of sin and abomination on the earth, were now 30 minutes into the chemistry lab. They had been getting along well enough thus far. They mostly ignored each other, choosing instead to carry on conversations with the other people around them. Jen was talking to one of her underlings about how popular and attractive she was.
“Another one of her vile, poisonous lies,” Steven thought.
“And then me and Michael went shopping. We looked at some shoes, and he bought me a pair of nice sunglasses! He likes me so much…
“Not even dogs can like you…”
“…He even took me to a concert! But when we got there, we were separated, and I couldn’t find him…”
“That was his plan,” Steven thought.
“What did you say, stupid? Stop mumbling like a little fool, and speak up.”
Apparently, Steven had inadvertently spoken it out loud.
“I said that was his plan. No one finds you attractive.” Steven decided to man up and stop keeping everything to himself. “You’re absolutely the most abhorrent, appalling, and unappealing hag I have had the misfortune of encountering in my entire existence. The reason you could not find the imbecile at the concert is because he had a sudden realization of who you were, and couldn’t bear to spend another moment looking at your monstrous, grotesque face, or hear your raucous, caustic, voice, or smell your noxious odor. The repulsive and vile atrocities that spew from your distorted mouth and oozes from every one of your cancerous, disgusting pores was too much for him. He probably ran off and killed himself to escape you, the poor, stupid fool.”
Jen the Giant’s evil, twisted face instantly became even more evil and twisted. Her eyes projected a dark, ominous red light, and she grew a pair of pointed red horns from her temples. Her fangs grew to the size of Steven’s left thumb (which was slightly larger than his right), acidic saliva dripping from the sharp points. Her hair flew into the air as if thrown by a violent wind, thrashing like a thousand serpents hungry for blood. She grew two feet taller, and her ghastly, pale skin turned the color and texture of an over ripe avacado.
Steven looked into her fierce, malevolent eyes, frightened for his life. He was on the verge of a breakdown, when he noticed something. Something he never expected to see. Something no one had ever imagined would be found in the eyes of this deranged, demented giant. He saw a tear. The small tear was hardly noticeable through the thick black smoke proceeding from her nostrils, but it was certainly there. It began to grow. It began its slow descent down her scaly, green skin. Then another appeared. Then another, and another. Soon, her eyes were raining tears. Her skin began to pale, from dark green to an ashen shade of gray, as if the tears were washing the wickedness from her flesh. Her eyes changed from the red of the fiery pits in Hell to the red eyes of a lost child crying for his family. Her beastly fangs shrunk back into her mouth, and her horns disappeared. He hair fell back to her shoulders as tears continued to soak her quivering, thin lips.
Suddenly, the part of Steven’s conscience that caused him to feel ashamed and regretfully began to activate. Unfortunately, that part of his mind had been removed to make more room for his ego, so Steven smiled a wicked smile and had a glint of satisfaction in his eyes. Jen the humbled Giant noticed this, and could not bear it. She stepped slowly away from Steven, knocking over several beakers of chemicals onto the counter. She slowly turned, then quickly fled the room as the teardrops continued to fall, carrying away all the evil and malevolence with them, leaving only brokenness and despair
“What did you do?” All the students began to murmur, and a few spoke up.
“What did you say to her?” “Did you hit her?” “Why is she crying?” “Where did she go?” “What happened?”
Jen the now departed Giant’s sidekick, Aimee, piped in.
“Steven said mean things to her and made her cry!”
Aimee was five-foot nothing and weighed a hundred-and-nothing. She had shoulder length, light brown hair, and pale blue eyes. Not a pretty sort of pale blue, but the pale blue of a deranged lunatic. Her face resembled that of a 30-week old fetus, and her limbs could have been mistaken for those of Frosty the Snowman. Her voice was scratchy and deep. If a cigarette could talk, it would have sounded like Aimee.
“You’re a bad person.”
Everyone in the room agreed. Mr. Herbert, who was rather deaf, was trying to figure out what had occurred, and why everyone seemed to be in a slight frenzy. Aimee described what Steven had said to Jen the Gigantic, and asked to be excused to go find her. Permission granted, she went out to look for her sobbing friend.
“What did you say to her?” The friend with the beard hadn’t overhead the conversation, as he was too busy trying to impress one of the girls in the class. “Why is she crying? What did you tell her?”
“That she was ugly and stupid and annoying,” Steven replied sheepishly, “and that people kill themselves to get away from her.”
Sobs from the hallway could be heard over the noise of the students.
“You do know that her mom died when she was ten, right?”
Steven grimaced, “Yeah, now that I think about it, but that’s not why I said it.”
“Yeah, right,” chimed in another of Jen’s disciples. “You’re evil. You’re so mean! Why are you so mean?”
The classroom buzzed with talk of how bad a person the misunderstood saint was.
“Steven, you’re evil!” “What the hell is wrong with you?” “Why would you say that!”
“Steven, Steven, Steven.” “Mean, evil, mean.” Those were all the words Steven could hear. They echoed in his head. He stared out the door of the laboratory into the hallway, where he could still hear sobs.
“Steven… Steven?”
Steven wasn’t listening.
“Steven!”
“What?!” Steven finally paid notice to who was calling him, and failed to notice that he could no longer hear the sobs.
“You… you’re going to hell.” The friend with the beard had an awkward look on his face, and a sad, regretful tone in his voice.
“Probably.”
“No probably, you’re going straight to hell.”
“Yeah…” Steven had a look of melancholy on his face as he sighed.
A small balance scale, for no apparent reason, rushed through the air, past several bystanders, and lodged itself in Steven’s forehead. Steven fell backward and hit his head on the floor. He let out a groan; his eyes watered and began to close as he was forcibly thrust into oblivion.
---
Steven could barely see the faces of several students crowding over him. It was difficult to see them, because he had something in his eyes, and on his face. It was something warm, wet, and sticky.
“Don’t move!”
“Someone went to get the nurse!”
“Get some paper towels!”
“Oh my god!”
“What happened?” Steven didn’t know why he was lying on the floor, why the girls were screaming, or why his face was covered in his blood. He liked the first two conditions, but the third ruined the situation.
Mr. Herbert calmed the panicked students. “You were hit in the head. Don’t worry, you’re fine. We sent for the nurse.”
“DUDE! Jen totally threw the chemical scale at you! She hit you right in the head!”
“Dude, you got knocked the hell out!”
“You were out for like 20 or 30 seconds!”
Steven groaned. His forehead felt like someone was poking it with a running jackhammer.
The nurse finally arrived, and wiped off Steven’s face. She helped him to his feet, and had him take a seat.
“Now, you hold still. An ambulance will be here in a few minutes. You got hit pretty bad!”
Steven groaned again, and closed his eyes.
---
“Well, that takes care of that. Just a cut and a bump.”
The doctor had finished sealing the large hole in Steven’s head. Fortunately, he didn’t have to stitch it shut; he was able to use a medical variation of super glue.
Steven and the school nurse walked out of the hospital, and back to the nurse’s car. They had been unable to get hold of his parents, so the nurse had taken care of the details.
When they arrived back at school, he saw Jen getting into her father’s car. Her father was yelling at her, as she cried.
“What happened to her?” Steven was confused.
“She was expelled. We absolutely do not allow fighting in school.”
Steven headed to the nurse’s station, where he would spend the rest of the day waiting for school to end. His parents still hadn’t been reached, so he was going to walk home when school let out. His friends stopped by to see how he was between classes.
“So… how do you feel?” The friend with the beard asked.
“Crappy.”
“I bet.”
“I’m going to have to be very good for the rest of my life.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to go to hell.”
“Or you may as well enjoy it, you’re going to hell anyway.”
Steven punched his friend in the stomach, then fell back onto the little green cot and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the constant explosions of intense pain in his head. He then felt a new pain, this time in his stomach.
