I just finished doing Thank You cards for graduation(a month and a half afterwards). I want my half hour back. It may just be me, but I can't stand all this pomp and ceremony bull**** in the world. I just want to be treated how I treat people: like a buddy. I don't care if I get a Thank You card for anything. I know they appreciate what I've done. It's called being self-secure. Thank You Cards are especially meaningless if I already told the person Thanks dozens of times in person.

Why do people obsess over these things? Cards are that necessary? Are people so insecure that they need to be told they are appreciated from a piece of paper, regardless that I've already told them numerous times? I've already told them I appreciate what they've done and now they just HAVE to have it in writing? For legal purposes or something? I don't think most people are this way. And if someone is, they have low self esteem issues.

What really burns my *** is my mom made me do the Thank You cards. I thought it was a woman thing because they are more into actually being thought about then the end result but then my dad started going against me too(albiet less zealously than my mom). My mom tried to use the "it's common decency" argument. Common decency? How about people start using COMMON SENSE?! And where's the common decency in me wasting my time doing something that someone isn't going to think about for a full 5 seconds? You know that thank you letter is going straight to the trash. Not because they don't like me but because the paper it self isn't important. I just see all this ceremonial crap as superficial, fake, and needless tradition. Especially the graduation invitation cards. Their only purpose is to guilt people into sending presents or showing up to something when they don't even know the person(like with my mom sending invitations to people I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!). Otherwise just let me use e-mail to inform people.

And my mom never lets me learn from my mistakes. She likes to try to micromanage me. But, I don't let her and that pisses her off. THAT is why I get along better with my dad than my mom. HE lets me learn from my mistakes and actually treats me like a human being with my own interests, feeling, etc instead of a lap dog. I got into an argument with my mom about this stuff and I knew she knew I was right because I was being calm and direct and she was starting to get huffy and emotional. That's when you can tell someone knows they're wrong.

So, am I realistic or just an ***?

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Kieran: The reason I put a link to it is because she is in underwear and I know the admins are touchy on that.
Yecti: Jaiph will touch himself for hours if he so much as smells a woman's underwear

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited July 11, 2004).]

You're a realistic *** who just had a fight with his mother and wanted to blow some steam off.

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

Also, I'm using the Thank You cards as an example. I'm talking about all the little ceremonius stuff in general.

Maybe being realistic and an *** goes hand in hand.

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Kieran: The reason I put a link to it is because she is in underwear and I know the admins are touchy on that.
Yecti: Jaiph will touch himself for hours if he so much as smells a woman's underwear

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited July 11, 2004).]

Just do it. It's easier than argueing the point, and what have you got to lose?

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

Aside from time, self-respect, and personal principles, I can't of much. Thank You cards aren't that big of a hassle, but it's when you put them with all the other unnessecary things that are "required" they become a problem.

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Kieran: The reason I put a link to it is because she is in underwear and I know the admins are touchy on that.
Yecti: Jaiph will touch himself for hours if he so much as smells a woman's underwear

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited July 11, 2004).]

Sounds like you need to calm down, man. Maybe try to look at it from another person's perspective, ya know?

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If you can read this you're
TOO DAMN CLOSE!!

I'm calm. It's not like I'm throwing chairs or something. I'm not even angry (except about the micromanaging). I just don't think it's necessary.

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Kieran: The reason I put a link to it is because she is in underwear and I know the admins are touchy on that.
Yecti: Jaiph will touch himself for hours if he so much as smells a woman's underwear

Hmm... Birthday and Christmas cards (if I can be a***d), and the Special Occasion buy-or-face-pissed-parents cards, that's it. I don't like recieving cards, really - it kind of embarrasses me, but in many ways it is unnecessary if you congratulate (or otherweise) people face to face. A lot more personal, and so much better.

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Wise men say that fools rush in where angels fear to tread, so look before you leap, so to speak, because the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill.

....if your self respect and personal principles are shattered by filling out thank you cards, then I think you may have a larger problem.

Thank you cards are just one of those annoying things you have to do. You can usually let them slide for smaller things, but with large events like graduations/weddings/etc then they are just something you need to buck up about.

You can either sit around trying to make filling out little "thanks for the gift" cards into a symptom of society trying to crush you under its iron heel and make your life a hideous montage of misery and shame and then fill them out, or just fill them out and get it over with.

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Dark, Darker, Darko

RIP Madaventor: God bless you.

They may seem unnecessary to you, but they can mean a lot to people. I still write Thank You notes to people even if I see them in person, even if they are a bit of a hassle.

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.

I don't know, cards are a nice way of accumulating and summarising the way you feel about someone/thing.

Spending the time and making a nice card, and writing a thoughtful message can mean a lot to some people. I always spend ages choosing a card, and thinking up what to write.
Limericks are the way to go.

Today is the day of your birth
and it is the cause of much mirth
A barrel of beer
will give us much cheer
And age will equal your girth.


But I do agree, the school and business like "Congratulations, *NAME*, well done on your achievement(s)!" type cards are a thoughtless rape of an otherwise sentimental and meaningfull action.


As for ceremonies in general.. hmm..
It depends on what it's for. I refuse to participate in 'patriotic' or 'religious' ceremonies, but they very rarely happen. I occassionally go to the school 'dances' and 'parties' although they are fairly uneventful. The end-of-year dance is one I won't miss.
I went for an Open Day at Cambridge the other week, and it was a very formal event, full suit, slicked back hair, the lot. I enjoyed that. I think everyone looks so nice in formal wear, and the whole place looks nicer with everyone in black and white or nicely coloured dresses, rather than a rabble of jeans and hooded tops and Hawaiian shirts.

[This message has been edited by Mort-Hog (edited July 11, 2004).]

I know how you feel, and really you shouldn't have to do it to or for everyone. I see it as a must-do thing for older family members, but as far as friends go I don't think it should matter...at all. Yah.

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There is no signature

Darko, as I said before, Thank You cards are just one part of a whole.

It's not like I don't do little nice things either. I'll open doors for people, let them go ahead of me in a line if they are in a hurry etc. Because that is how I would want to be treated. If someone sends me a graduation thank you card, I'd probably think "Aw, how cute" and then never think about it again. I don't care if someone does Thank You cards or what have you. But when they push their expectations and traditions onto me(like my mom did), that's when I have a problem with it. I will do nice things at my own discretion(do not mistake that with meaning at "my own convienence"). Otherwise all the nice things in the world are meaningless. When I do something nice for someone, I mean it. It's not some automated process.

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Kieran: The reason I put a link to it is because she is in underwear and I know the admins are touchy on that.
Yecti: Jaiph will touch himself for hours if he so much as smells a woman's underwear

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited July 11, 2004).]

When I was a kid, I forgot to send my grandfather a thank you card for a 5 dollar birthday gift (like, five actual bucks). My parents didn't care, but the next Christmas, there were gifts for everyone (from my grandfather) except me. I guess I learned my lesson My parents thought that was stupid so they sent all the gifts back.

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EvilMagic.net: Brian's Web Log

I can't understand the idiots who actually care about whether you sent them a card or not. Even worse are the ones that hold a grudge about it. As far as I'm concerned, I don't want to associate with you if you care that much.

I mean, I couldn't care less if people send me a card at all for any reason. I really couldn't. In fact, it saves me the trouble of chucking them later. I don't expect ANYTHING. Which is why I can't understand what the hell is going on in the minds of people who do expect a card. Makes no sense to me. I never write cards. EVER. And, to tell you the truth, the people who used to send me cards have stopped. Do I care?

No.

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Have a good one,
Freelancer

Even if a family member, who lives far away, sends you a gift for yor birthday or something (as in they aren't atually there)? Maybe if they are there and give you the gist, I could understand, but if they aren't . . .

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.

If they live far far away I'm probably going to call and Thank them.

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Kieran: The reason I put a link to it is because she is in underwear and I know the admins are touchy on that.
Yecti: Jaiph will touch himself for hours if he so much as smells a woman's underwear

I too am often annoyed at a lot of the niceties we, as a society, have developed. I'm a pretty quiet person and I hate it when people I don't know feel the need to try and talk to me. Obliged small talk is horrible.

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"If I had a dollar for every time I had sixty cents, I would be Canada."
"Should slice indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration."
"I like the concept of people, but people ruin it."
"It has come to my attention that some of you have thumb-drives. They are cool."
--@%

I think Thankyou cards can be a good thing, just not in excess. If you don't know the person, and hardly ever see them or live far away, Thankyous are a great way of letting someone know you care about them and took some time and effort to express that on paper. If you see the person everyday and they're a close friend, and you can just thank them personally, I think that's more sincere than a card and still let's them know you care. A card in that situation would be unecessary, and you wouldn't need a piece of paper to let that person know you were grateful.

Ultimately, the necessity of a nicety depends on the nature of the person and their relation to you.

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~ Vader's Corner ~

I only write thank you cards when people do things that unnecessary and unusually nice. For instance, I don't write thank you cards to my grandmother or my brother when they give me Christmas gifts (unless it's something outrageously fabulous), or when I accomplish something (graduate, birthday, etc) and get an empty card. I do write them, of my own free will, when people do "unexpected", unnecessary things. One of my cousins (I have around 50 of them) sent me $100(US) as a graduation gift last month. The thing is, I graduated two years ago. When graduation time started up again, she realized she didn't send anything to me back then, so she sent it last month. I promptly sent her a card expressing my thanks. I plan to send her another card with a picutre of me and my buddies enjoying what I bought with her gift (paintball gun). Why? Becuase she didn't have to give me anything. I see her maybe one or two times a year. It's the least I could do after she was so gracious to me, and remembered me out of the 49 other cousins she has.

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Empty.

I agree with SMOCK!. I'm trying to train myself to be socially uncaring enough to ignore small-talkers. We'll see how it goes.

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Have a good one,
Freelancer

I know how u feel. Thank you cards suck.

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You have to look at the big picture. We (as a country) spend more tax money dealing with MS blunders than we do on the software itself. And guess who MS's largest customer is? You guessed it, the government! - Brian
My Personal Site | Remnant Temple Part A | A work in progress

People do this? You don't owe anyone a thank you for anything and no one has any right to b**** about not being thanked for doing something voluntarily. Thanking someone is something you do out of the goodness of your heart and never if you don't mean it, otherwise you are just a lying, pretentious a****** and will get what's coming to you.

I think you said it best when you said "out of the goodness of your heart."

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Baby Mama's Drama

People like going out to the mail box, people like getting mail.
It's tradition now as well, if you don't do it, people might think negatively of you.

I hate doing them too, and think all the same points you do. But I do it out of respect for the other person.

Yeah, thank-you cards sure are a pain. Unless you like having friends.

Ha ha. Using the internet for sarcasm is fun.

Seriously though, I only do them for special occasions. They kind of lose meaning if you send them out too often.

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"Look at me! I'm Tracer! BLAHBLAHBLAH!"

-MBeggar

*reminds self to write the last graduation thankyou card for a book my great uncle sent me last week.

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IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

Employees dying on the job are faling to fall down. THIS PRACTICE MUST STOP as it becmes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of he staf.

Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll.

But you need to realize that everyone doesn't think and feel in the same 'format' that you do.

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For a healty meal, eat mashed potatoes, peas, and catloaf.
Valuable Life Lesson: Frog + Potato Gun = Blindness
Catalog of Electronic Components - Complete IC data sheets
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[This message has been edited by DogSRoOL (edited July 12, 2004).]