Massassi Forums Logo

This is the static archive of the Massassi Forums. The forums are closed indefinitely. Thanks for all the memories!

You can also download Super Old Archived Message Boards from when Massassi first started.

"View" counts are as of the day the forums were archived, and will no longer increase.

☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → SAJN Master's Poetry hour!!! (Pooetry+support my book)
123
SAJN Master's Poetry hour!!! (Pooetry+support my book)
2007-02-14, 1:29 PM #41
I think Rob had the ringer here.

Poet14 ahoy!
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 1:32 PM #42
THANX 4 THA SUPPORT. +5 pp

I don't know why I always ask this bag of arses for any sort of support, I should have expected the responses I got and I am sorry that I took you for a more mature crowd.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 1:36 PM #43
Continued because, unlike some people, I don't close threads.

Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
I don't know why I always ask this bag of arses for any sort of support, I should have expected the responses I got and I am sorry that I took you for a more mature crowd.
No, you just wanted a bunch of pretentious illiterates to kiss your ***. The fact that you bandy about like you're some kind of king of poetry is just icing on the cake of suck.

Oh, and I didn't want to say anything because I actually wasn't trying to be a total jerk (just brutally honest), but your grammar is terrible too. I mean in an overall sense, not just in your poetry where it might be justified. I suggest you look up hyphenation and actually check the dictionary for the meanings of your big words before you drop them in the wrong place.
2007-02-14, 1:38 PM #44
I like making poems.

I'm your loving psycho
Baby I'm your doctor
ooh ooh
Ganz in weiss!

Who is talking about Justice?
I'm talking about Kommunismus interrupted
-RUPTED
... - RUPTED
.... - RUPTED
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2007-02-14, 1:38 PM #45
SAJN master sux, like the wind blowing out, look at the blue sky


I'm a poet and I didn't know it
2007-02-14, 1:39 PM #46
Swallow your egos for one minute everyone and listen:

Poetry is:

Quote:
1. the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts.


Therefore stop arguing (or pretending to "discuss poetry") when clearly a poem is an artist's expression of thought.

And everyone can interpret these thoughts differently.

Now leave me to my metals
2007-02-14, 1:39 PM #47
I don't think I'm a king of poetry, I just KNOW that I'll never get an honest and unbiased response from any of you because you all hold grudges. Also, I know what words I'm using. I don't go into the dictionary and use as many big words as I can. If you are referring to the poem Tomorrow, I knew exactly what I was doing. These are words that people use, I'm not using them to be a snob.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 1:40 PM #48
I wasn't even going to say anything until SAJN decided to bring in Frost's poems, and his horrible horrible attempts at interpreting them. No offense, but I've done multiple reports on the guy--he's an excellent writer. I know his biography basically by heart and I know his life. He struggled a lot--what person, much less artist, doesn't. He still loved life, loved nature and loved everything around him, which is what kept him going. He wasn't Hemingway, he didn't off himself for a reason. His poetry was an expression of his struggles, but mainly his love for life.

And for chrissakes, leaves != grass.

And I'm not sure if you DO know the words you're using. No, I don't see your poetry as great, or even good. I'm used to stuff by the likes of Eliot, Frost, and many new hip hop artists (all of whom are excellent, excellent poets). If you want, I'll show some of their stuff to you, and show you why I don't think your stuff is good--it's short, it's seemingly uninspired, there's no rhythm or rhyme (rhyme usually helps you keep the flow of rhythm, though it's not necessary for every poem), and there's little to no imagery or anything of the like. Hell, I'll even post some of my stuff if you want--I just want you to realize my opinion isn't biased--when it comes to art, I don't have biased opinions. I just posted my opinion based on the poetry I'm used to reading and that I've grown up and read every day of my life.
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 1:40 PM #49
Originally posted by Anovis:
1. the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts.


Okay, so let's list the things SAJN_Master doesn't have in his poetry:

1.) Rhythm.
2.) Composition.
3.) Exciting pleasure
4.) Beautiful, imaginative or elevated thoughts.
2007-02-14, 1:41 PM #50
I don't even know what his poem is :\
2007-02-14, 1:42 PM #51
Quote:
free verse
n.

Verse composed of variable, usually unrhymed lines having no fixed metrical pattern.

.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 1:44 PM #52
My poetry is published.

So STFU.
Epstein didn't kill himself.
2007-02-14, 1:44 PM #53
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
.
Yes, SAJN, we all know what free verse poetry is.

Try reading my post in the other thread again. I mean really read it. Not like how you read Robert Frost, which is through tinted thick-framed square emo glasses.
2007-02-14, 1:45 PM #54
That only partially refuses one out of four of his points.

[Edit: Man this thread moves fast. Was talking to SAJN.]

Look everyone is entitled to his or her own literary tastes. Not everyone has to have the same likes or dislikes--it's all part of who we are, get used to it.

2007-02-14, 1:46 PM #55
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
.


So is that also the excuse you use for being such a poor musician and lyricist?
2007-02-14, 1:49 PM #56
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
.

No, you don't have rhythm--no you don't need it, but good christ I think it was Robert Frost himself who once said "Poetry without rhyme isn't poetry at all" (though he had a lot of free verse stuff later on). He said it for a reason--usually people who start writing poetry in free verse without first finding their legs on the planes of rhyming poetry end up falling into the pit of "oh my poetry is so good you just don't understand it--I don't need rhythm or rhyme", which is spit DIRECTLY from their english teacher's mouths. It helps you with your poetry a lot, just as drawing a lot of different subject matters helps you with the one thing you REALLY want to draw. If you just draw people, for instance, yeah you'll be good, but you won't be as good as if you started to understand different concepts and ways to draw these things.
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 1:49 PM #57
/feels face...

Glasses?


Quote:
I've become impossible again:
sleepless, irritable, perverse.
One day
I work
as if beating a wild beast, as if cursing all that's holy,
and the next day
I lie on my back from morning to night,
a lazy song on my lips like an unlit cigarette.
And it drives me crazy,
the hatred
and pity I feel for myself. . .

I've become impossible again:
sleepless, irritable, perverse.
Again, as always, I'm wrong.
I have no cause
and couldn't possibly.
What I'm doing is shameful,
a disgrace.
But I can't help it:
I'm jealous of you,
forgive me. . .


To see the way he sets his poems up, click here. http://lennon.csufresno.edu/~kds31/hik3.html

That is a poem from Nazim Hikmet, who is one of the greatest poets to have ever lived. His poetry is great. It doesn't have much of a form, it doesn't rhyme, but it's just the way that he writes. It doesn't make him any less of a poet. I'm not trying to compare myself to Hikmet. I'm nowhere near as good as he is, and chances are I'll never be anywhere as good as he was. What I am trying to point out is that there isn't a WRONG way to write poetry. It's blatantly obvious that some of you are judging the poems on who is writing them and not the quality or thought of them. I'll never get a serious response from you people and I don't expect it.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 1:51 PM #58
Have you ever considered that we think what you're writing about sucks as well as how poorly you convey it?

Oh no. YOU'RE A MISUNDERSTOOD ARTISTE.
2007-02-14, 1:52 PM #59
You wanna post poetry? That guy...sorry but he's not that great. I mean he expresses himself well and all, that's good, but not publishable--it's all about how much he hates himself and how emo he is, basically. Woop. Dee.

Code: 
And I'll never again be as happy as I was when I was in the 7th grade
Before the guilt of having no goals ate my life away
Each day introduced me to somehting that I hadn't experienced yet
Traded A's for F's to gain the time to experiment with drugs and sex
I'll never forget me and jakes first roses trip together
or the times when we all walked aimlessly through summer weather
with nothing better to do I rode to s.a.and tried to steal a pack of squares
man I miss being a kid with no cares
its the excitement of knowing everything you touch is new
I just wish I couldv'e stopped to cherish the moment while it lasted but
maybe thats the point, the second your smart enough to recognize freedom
your no longer free
you see heaven isn't some place that we go to when we die
It's that split second in life where you actually feel alive
and until the end of time, we chase the memory of that
hoping the future holds something better than the past
so why do I spend my time runnin' away?
when the truth is right here in the mirror inside my dying face
I can waste my energy tryin to reproduce something thats gone
but my childhood is dead, it's time to move on
so what do you call a person thats already past his peak?
Just keep stack in tha sheep you keep counting when you can't go to sleep
Two years out of high school goin on way too deep
tell me again why 7th grade was so brief?
Damn... the curiosity that killed shrodingers cat was the only thing that
kept it alive matter of fact
when life takes your life away how do you get it back?
Like that... like that...


PS--that's Eyedea from Eyedea and Abilities. He doesn't have any published poems, he's not even doing hip hop any longer, but he's still one of the best poets I've ever seen/heard.
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 1:54 PM #60
I'm not a big fan of Hikmet.

Plus he has "Nazi" in his name.

And he's a Commie.

Also,
Quote:
Breaking the boundaries of the syllabic meter, he changed his form and preferred writing in free verse which harmonised with the rich vocal properties of the Turkish language.


If you know anything about translations, man...Turkish is very different from English.
2007-02-14, 1:54 PM #61
Not publishable? The man wrote over 1,000 poems. Many people consider the man to be a hero. He is one of the most famous poets in the world!

Also, I've written plenty of poems with rhythm and flow and nice tiny words for Jon'C to read, but the three poems that I posted for people to read aren't nice and neat, I don't see the big deal.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 1:55 PM #62
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
I don't think I'm a king of poetry
...and yes you apparently do, since in the face of our honest criticism you went on to tell us we were 'uneducated'.

By the way, do you have formal training or are you a liar too?
2007-02-14, 1:57 PM #63
Formal training in what?
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 1:59 PM #64
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
Not publishable? The man wrote over 1,000 poems. Many people consider the man to be a hero. He is one of the most famous poets in the world!

Also, I've written plenty of poems with rhythm and flow and nice tiny words for Jon'C to read, but the three poems that I posted for people to read aren't nice and neat, I don't see the big deal.

And Stephen King is one of the most published authors in the world, so is John Grisham. That doesn't mean their work is profound, or excellent. In fact, I hate both their writing styles.

Post some that don't suck if you say you've actually written them, otherwise just stop. You're defending your poetry when we tear it down piece by piece, and you're losing ground to stand on. See, the problem is you think we're doing this to get back at you for some abstract reason--god knows why, but we're not. I don't hate you, I'm not out to get you, I just think your poetry is godawful and I'm posting some criticisms of it. As you reject my criticisms they get more and more of a jerkoff overtone, yeah, just so maybe you'll get in ONE of my posts just a piece of what I think.
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 2:03 PM #65
What Yoshi said.

I really do not think that people are giving you these criticisms because everyone is out to get you. If Jon`C were to out to get you, I'm pretty sure that he would be a helluva lot less nice in his criticisms. All he did was tell you that you are missing key aspects of your poetry. I read your first example shown, and I have to say, it sounded "emo blog post." Granted, I've made it an effort to avoid things poetic. So you can take my opinion with grains of salt or however you feel.

Moral of the post: You got WAY too defensive WAY too quickly.
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-02-14, 2:06 PM #66
It's only natural, JG, for people to do this.
2007-02-14, 2:07 PM #67
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
Also, I've written plenty of poems with rhythm and flow and nice tiny words for Jon'C to read
Wow, so now you're trying to post that I'm stupid.


[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]Formal training in what?[/QUOTE]...In breeding cattle through artificial insemination, what do you think?

We think your poetry is bad.
We disagree with your interpretation of poetry.
You call us uneducated.

So where's your education? You criticize us for misunderstanding Frost because we were taught "wrong" by our 6th grade teachers (even though I was homeschooled in grade 6 and left to read poetry on my own, and spent my entire Jr and Sr High education in advanced placement English). Calling us uneducated is a pretty arrogant statement coming from someone with zero formal english training or education, since it's pretty clear that - at worst - we are every bit as qualified to talk about poetry as you are. (Not to mention the fact that, unlike you, we actually use your/you're and there/their/they're correctly on a consistent basis.)

I'd argue we're more qualified, though, since we actually READ poetry while all you do is vomit language at MySpace.

I didn't criticize you because I have some sort of grudge against you, I criticized you because your poetry is - in my opinion - terrible and I really doubt a bunch of borderline illiterate 16-year-olds on MySpace would tell you that you need improvement.

And FYI: In spite of the fact that you insulted my intelligence, I'm still withholding some of my less... fair criticisms.
2007-02-14, 2:11 PM #68
I've taken nothing but advanced english courses, I've taken two courses that specifically focus on poetry, and the past few semesters I've taken two music courses to better understand flow and such. I consider myself as trained as I can be at this point. And no I'm not trying to gloat and brag, I'm answering your question.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 2:16 PM #69
No offense but just because youre taking advanced english courses doesnt mean you know what you're doing.

theres a girl in my major. 3 years of being in my major and shes terrible at what she does...
[01:52] <~Nikumubeki> Because it's MBEGGAR BEGS LIKE A BEGONI.
2007-02-14, 2:17 PM #70
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
I've taken nothing but advanced english courses, I've taken two courses that specifically focus on poetry, and the past few semesters I've taken two music courses to better understand flow and such. I consider myself as trained as I can be at this point. And no I'm not trying to gloat and brag, I'm answering your question.

I've taken nothing but advanced english courses, I was first lauded for my own writing at 7th grade, the two consecutive Creative Writing courses I took I got high marks on all my poetry and writing, I took AP my last year of high school and got a 3 on my exam with no studying whatsoever.

I'm not trying to gloat and brag, I know I'm still far far underqualified as far as creating, interpreting, and hell, everything else with poetry goes as far as formal education goes. It takes years upon years of college to get that down. But I do have an innate understanding of flow, rhythm, imagery and every other element of poetry which makes it what it is--none of which I've seen in yours at worst, and at best I've seen abstract attempts. I'm sorry if you disagree, but my unbiased opinion is your poetry needs major work just to be good enough to showcase, and years of practice to be good enough to be released in a book.
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 2:18 PM #71
Originally posted by MBeggar:
No offense but just because youre taking advanced english courses doesnt mean you know what you're doing.

theres a girl in my major. 3 years of being in my major and shes terrible at what she does...



I'm just responding to what Jon'C asked.
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 2:18 PM #72
Originally posted by Rob:
Have you ever considered that we think what you're writing about sucks as well as how poorly you convey it?

Oh no. YOU'RE A MISUNDERSTOOD ARTISTE.


http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/warriorshtm/artiste.htm

I once fed a bunch of MSN conversations into a language-parsing chatbot and it wrote me a poem.
Stuff
2007-02-14, 2:20 PM #73
Quote:
...and at other times, and to no apparent purpose, he will be overcome with the urge to post a poem in the midst of battle.


<3
2007-02-14, 2:20 PM #74
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
I'm just responding to what Jon'C asked.
I accept your concession that we are every bit as qualified to talk about poetry as you are, and that you have absolutely no grounds to call us uneducated on the subject.
2007-02-14, 2:23 PM #75
"Advanced" high school classes aren't formal training. If you were to be as trained as you could be, I'd say that you've been an apprentice for about three years. Who did you study under?

I don't care what anyone says; if you write free verse you're not a poet - you're a writer.
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2007-02-14, 2:28 PM #76
A. I never had a problem with you SAJN.
B. That poetry isn't poetry, even if you say it is.
C. If you have to explain your poetry, there is something wrong with it.
2007-02-14, 2:45 PM #77
thread merged and placeholder'd to prevent closing. Resume thread.
New! Fun removed by Vinny :[
2007-02-14, 2:49 PM #78
Seriously SAJN, why do you discredit our opinions? We're not out to get you, most of us are (at the very least) just as qualified as you to interpret poetry, like Jon`C said, and our opinions were originally quite unoffensive until you dismissed them. Give me a serious answer--why do you discredit our opinions?
D E A T H
2007-02-14, 2:54 PM #79
Because as much as people say one thing the opposite group is going to say the other. I don't discredit you people, but I take your opinions with a grain of salt because I know the history between me and most of the people posting, and it all seems to add up. I know of people that dislike and I know of people that like my writing. I'm not trying to say 'Only say good things or else you suck!' but when someone assumes that an entire book of poems is garbage based off of 3 selected poems, it's just stupid. I never asked people to tell me how much I suck, I asked people to help me get the word about this book out. I don't care if you like it or hate it, if people like it they will buy it, it's simple. I just wanted help getting exposure, and it quickly turned into a cluster *bleep*
Think while it's still legal.
2007-02-14, 2:56 PM #80
Originally posted by Victor Van Dort:
I never asked people to tell me how much I suck, I asked people to help me get the word about this book out. I don't care if you like it or hate it, if people like it they will buy it, it's simple. I just wanted help getting exposure, and it quickly turned into a cluster *bleep*


So you were USING US ALL ALONG

MASSASSI WILL NOT BE USED
123

↑ Up to the top!