PS_ON# is designed to be TTL compatible, so yes, by nature the currents involved in it are near zero. This is one of the many reasons why it's relatively safe and fun to start a Power Supply by sticking a bent paper clip between the green (PS_ON#) line and any black (ground) lines on the Main power connector.
I was talking about the Front Panel Switch, which as you indicated is a "software" switch (Its probably just ACPI, which explains why its so hard to get Linux to recognize pressing the power switch). Unfortunately that switch is the one with currents in it.
If you wanted to drop TTL Logic components (like a flip flop) on the PS_ON# line, you would have no problems, but if you wanted to use the front panel switch TTL is out of the question. This has both some good and some bad consequences. PS_ON# is NOT a momentary line, to turn on a Power Supply you need to hold PS_ON# at logical low. So we don’t want a D Flip-Flop. This does mean however, that he could just use a Relay or even just a NOT gate or something so that as long as the 12 (13.1) Volt Accessory line is hot then PS_ON# would be “ON”. This solves the problems associated with starting the car quite nicely, and also makes sure that when the car is turned off, the computer goes off with it. Unfortunately some Motherboards may not be happy with you bypassing the PS_ON# line like that, and you would certainly loose the ability to shut down the computer through software, but that seems like a fair trade off.
The alternative is still trying something like a transistor on the actual Motherboard Power Switch, which needless to say will be a bit more complicated, and to be honest, I really can’t think of any good reason to use it…
Now for Mac Mini specific stuff... I got no idea.
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