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12
Your funeral...
2007-03-12, 10:17 AM #1
How do you want it to go? What kind of casket? Details details details!


Mine would start by the playing Amazing Grace by Dropkick Murphys and would start with the bagpiper playing and the rest of the band would be hidden until their part started.
Funeral goes through yada yada. At some point an electronic device will make my body pop up during the funeral so it scares everyone to death and I don't go alone. Everyone walks by the open casket one more time to the ANH celebration music. Then while being closed and lowered the Imperial March.

Oh and the casket would be white and my suit would be pink with a pink hat with a red feather in it. I would be totally pimped out.
2007-03-12, 10:23 AM #2
If I get terminally ill, I'm gonna spend the rest of my lifetime making this video where I ponder different ways of dying, such as being stabbed by lasermonkeys in Congo.

But anyhow, in the end my ashes will be in a jar and the jar will be placed in a rocket. Attached to the rocket there will be a speaker which plays a recording of my voice saying something like "HELLO, I AM TRAPPED IN A JAR, CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?" and then the rocket launches and the speaker (or I, actually) says "OH NOSE" or whatever and then it explodes! Yay.

At least now I would have that kind of funeral done. Of course no one would bother reading what I'd want so meh.
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2007-03-12, 10:28 AM #3
I would have my nephew and his friend spend carry me around for a weekend getting everyone to believe that I'm still alive.
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2007-03-12, 10:28 AM #4
As I've explained before, it has to be held in a church, or at least a building of some sort with steps, stuff is said, and then the Glenn Miller Orchestra begins to emerge from behind the pulpit playing In The Mood. The next part is choreographed prior, as it turns into like a large number from a broadway musical, with dancing down the steps outside, Poll bearers spinning the casket around, switching sides etc. All the way to the burial plot where I'm unceremoniously plonked in the hole.
nope.
2007-03-12, 10:29 AM #5
I'm sure it would involve explosions.

And Brian Clevinger would design the casket and give a eulogy. And at the end we would have 300 cats dressed as spartan soldiers fight 300,000 mice (And some rats to act as the deformed), all painted black.

And ninjas would kill all the guests as they left.

That'd be sweet.
"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor
2007-03-12, 10:30 AM #6
I plan to live forever.

No, seriously.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2007-03-12, 10:35 AM #7
My ideal funeral would be NOT HAVING ONE. AT ALL.

I plan on dying in the middle of the wilderness and I hope no one ever finds me.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-03-12, 10:35 AM #8
The inscription on my tombstone will read, "Last one out, hit the lights."
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2007-03-12, 10:35 AM #9
I plan to have a massive Viking style funeral. My minions will invite everyone I know to a specially-built church with a giant trap door. As all the guests come in and take their seats, the doors lock, and a 45 polka record plays on a 78 and the floor gives out. At the same time, the wood lights up immediately, and everyone I've known will burn with me.
:master::master::master:
2007-03-12, 10:51 AM #10
I want my body to remain intact. Thats the only thing that concerns me.... as of now. I might want a shovel and various other things. If ever there is a zombie rising, I want to be first one to the surface. :hist101:
2007-03-12, 11:10 AM #11
I don't really care. The only stipulation I have is that I want my body to placed on a pyre and cremated.
2007-03-12, 12:06 PM #12
Originally posted by Steven:
I want my body to placed on a pyre
That's not going to happen.
2007-03-12, 12:17 PM #13
Actually in the event I can't get a tricked out coffin and pimp outfit...I'd settle for cremated on a pyre in a Darth Vader outfit.
2007-03-12, 12:24 PM #14
Originally posted by Duo Maxwell:
Actually in the event I can't get a tricked out coffin and pimp outfit...I'd settle for cremated on a pyre in a Darth Vader outfit.


You should probably know that no one cares enough about you to do any of the things mentioned when you die.
2007-03-12, 12:29 PM #15
unceremoniously and alone.
2007-03-12, 12:45 PM #16
When I was 13 I told a friend of mine I wanted Falling Away From Me by Korn to be played as the casket is lowered.

Seriously though, I really don't care. I'll donate all the organs/fluids/marrow that I can, and they can burn the rest. As for the people, I'd rather everyone just get drunk and have fun, but that probably isn't very realistic.
2007-03-12, 12:51 PM #17
have my body launched into space. Then in a few billion years some aliens will find me and bring me back to life. :ninja:
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2007-03-12, 12:57 PM #18
Originally posted by Aglar:
As for the people, I'd rather everyone just get drunk and have fun, but that probably isn't very realistic.


That's the other thing. I want at least one keg and a beer pong table at my funeral.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2007-03-12, 1:09 PM #19
I want my remains to be interred at the base of a 90 foot tall statue of me along with all of my vast riches, my many grieving servants and wives, and my army of necrons.
2007-03-12, 1:11 PM #20
I just want a normal celebration, people to cry, and my limbs to be tied to an animated metal frame that makes me look like I'm waving at people.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2007-03-12, 1:25 PM #21
Haven't really thought about it. I think I'd quite like Brothers in Arms played during the cremation, and Going Home would be quite 'nice' at the cemetary when I'm lowered into the ground/scattered to the wind wherever. Assuming my taste in music doesn't change drastically between now and then.

Uh, I mean, I'd like my corpse to be shot out of a cannon while a speaker plays a pre-recorded tape of me shouting "I'm still alive, catch me!"
2007-03-12, 1:30 PM #22
Cardboard box, campfire.


I don't need extra stuff when I'm dead already.
2007-03-12, 1:30 PM #23
actually, i changed my mind.

i want one of those horrible ****ing retarded Ronan Keeting songs played at my funeral, just because they're guaranteed to make all the old ***** cry.
2007-03-12, 2:07 PM #24
The only detail that interests me is that Lilium from Elfen Lied would be played (not sung, though, just the melody). And unless I die soon and suddenly, I'm pretty sure I can realistically have that arranged. It's even the kind of song that would be perfectly suitable, yet few in the audience would recognize it.

Otherwise just normal fare. It would be kind of insulting for the audience and those arranging the process to have anything really odd happen there.
Frozen in the past by ICARUS
2007-03-12, 3:09 PM #25
"One thing about the Dead you should know...put them in marble temples or let them rot in the ground, they don't care, they're dead!"

-George Lass, Dead Like Me

I really don't care about my funeral. I would like to be buried though so the wormies could eat me.

Whatever funeral it is (Viking preferably), I want Squirrel Nut Zippers - Hell to play.

:hist101: :eng101:

(As you see there are contradictions in this post. They are intentional.)
2007-03-12, 3:54 PM #26
I either wanna be cremated or be buried in a plain pine box out in the woods somewhere. I really don't see much point in pumping me full of chemicals so that I can't return to the earth.
"Flowers and a landscape were the only attractions here. And so, as there was no good reason for coming, nobody came."
2007-03-12, 4:13 PM #27
Burial at sea. Wrap me up in some spare canvas, and chuck me overboard. Otherwise, burn me up and scatter the ashes around disneyland.

o.0
2007-03-12, 4:19 PM #28
According to my will, people at my funeral will play a new game I made up: "Hot Dead Body." In this game, the people will have to pass around my dead body person to person. But there's a catch! My dead body will contain a small explosive with a timer. The objective of this game is to not be the one who has my body when the timer hits zero. That unlucky person will be scarred for the rest of his/her life as the day of being covered with bloody pieces of my flesh, bone and organs will be forever remembered. What fun!
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2007-03-12, 4:25 PM #29
Don't care, as long as there's a whole lot of really, really, really good food. Music has to be good too. Aside from that, the priest could do stand up and they could shoot me out of a cannon for all I care. tehehe actually I'd enjoy that.
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2007-03-12, 4:46 PM #30
Would you prefer your corpse to be compressed into a cannon-ball first? Or would it be ala Stair/Truck Dismount? :P
nope.
2007-03-12, 4:59 PM #31
Originally posted by Anovis:
h so the wormies could eat me.


thats never gonna happen.
My girlfriend paid a lot of money for that tv; I want to watch ALL OF IT. - JM
2007-03-12, 5:06 PM #32
Originally posted by Baconfish:
Would you prefer your corpse to be compressed into a cannon-ball first? Or would it be ala Stair/Truck Dismount? :P


you know, I'll leave that up to whoever organizes it. It'll go farther as a compressed ball, but it'll look funnier just flopping around.
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2007-03-12, 5:57 PM #33
Okay, many years from now (hopefully many years) I die, but no one except for those i currently hang out with know. They keep a secret.

Everyone I know or who could possibly care gets an invitation to a sweet party I am throwing, people are told it is very important to me that they come. Okay, at the party, everyone is having a good time, but they are all talking about how weird it is that no one has seen me at the party so far. Then the music cuts out, and an announcement is made....I died 5 days ago. Then the announcement is made that the bar will now be free, and a badass band starts playing or something cool like that, and everyone is encouraged to have a good time.
Warhead[97]
2007-03-12, 5:59 PM #34
Originally posted by Ford:
thats never gonna happen.


oh?
2007-03-12, 9:13 PM #35
that is unless you dont tell the government you're dead. in which case, worms can eat you all you want.

for those not familiar with modern funerary practices in america, you are no longer put in a box in the ground, free to return to the earth. instead you are put in a concrete vault where your casket and remains are sealed for eternity. these vaults are designed so that your body can not be eaten by worms or the like.

eventually i suppose the vault will break down through the inevitable process of nature, but this takes much longer than the 1 month it takes for a body to decompose to bone naturally. (give or take a couple weeks depending on temperature/humidity.)
My girlfriend paid a lot of money for that tv; I want to watch ALL OF IT. - JM
2007-03-12, 9:23 PM #36
90ft tall trebuchet+2000kg counterweight+my body+grand canyon+hd videotaping=lots of entertainment on youtube.
>>untie shoes
2007-03-12, 10:45 PM #37
There won't be enough body left for a funeral.
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2007-03-13, 1:57 AM #38
I'd like to be recycled as much as possible. If anything unusable is left I'd like to have it buried as is, no casket or anything, under a tree somewhere in the desert or mountains.
Dreams of a dreamer from afar to a fardreamer.
2007-03-13, 3:48 AM #39
In a cardboard box, because whatever I will have done to die will probably leave me compressed into a 50cm x 50cm cube.
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2007-03-13, 6:42 AM #40
Originally posted by Duo Maxwell:

Mine would start by the playing Amazing Grace by Dropkick Murphys


I f**king LOVE that song! woot! ideal new years party music.
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  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
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