Alrighty, here's a question for all you manly men out here. A romance question.

Situation : You are deeply in love with a girl, and she did have feelings for you, but you find out that there is no way in hell that it can happen. I'm not giving a reason, just that it is blatantly impossible. Still she is a great girl, and she is worth keeping in your life as a great friend.

On one hand, your heart may keep hurting and desiring through the friendship. On the other hand, you are shutting someone wonderful, and a close friend out of your life.

What would you do? (See poll)

Remain a friend. Nothing is worth more than a good friendship, and over time, it'll stop feeling awkward.

I've gone through the exact same thing, Jep. Still not sure where I stand...

You and me both, buddy.

I'm hoping people's opinion will help make up my mind. I usually do this **** alone, but surprisingly, I am having trouble making up my own damn mind this time. In the past, my reaction has always been to grow cold and uncaring. For the first time, I'm unsure if i want to do that.

Remain a friend, unless "OH NEINZ I CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE I LUV GRHXBLSJKVLXXX" is too much of a reason to not remain friends.

Which it wouldn't be to me.

heee.. romance qq

Stay friends. even when it seems impossible. it's always someone to turn to when you need to talk or whatever. that's worth alot of things.

definitely try to remain friends. but as with a break-up, it may be an idea to try to have some space from eachother for a while, to allow the feelings to subside somewhat. it will make it easier for both of you

Alright.

I've gotten some good feed back, now I'll give more detail on the situation, and I'll see if you guys change opinions drastically.

The woman is married and she never told me until recently. Worste is, her husband knew about it almost from the very start, and even played the game with her, playing as her female room mate.

Now she claims that all the feelings she told me were true, that she did have deep feelings for me and that I was a guy she could have really fallen in love with and that her husband pretty much just played along because he had no choice and just wished for her happiness. Things tell me its a failing marriage.

The conclusion I came up with is that she is staying with him for their child's sake (I know of the child since the beginning and that didn't bother me.) To my eyes, thats the only reason they remain together. Still now I'm just feeling like I've been ****ed with from the start. Perhaps she did have feelings for me, as she said. On the other hand, why she could not tell me from the very moment and end things is beyong me. I guess she just didn't have the courage to go through with change.

Through and through, I'm hurt from living this lie for months. On the other hand, my feelings were the woman I got to know are still true. Rather than be cold and angered, I'm trying to rationally think and remain friends.

Am I just a gullible fool? Should I still try staying a friend? I think she is worth it, even if she pulled that twisted **** on me.

The wierd part is how the husband really tried to support me. Being there when I need to vent to this "room-mate". Surprisingly enough, she (now he :/) had been an amazing support and friend so far.

This is all ****ing twisted I say. XD

yeah I'm in a similar situation, deeply in love but cant express that.

She's got a boyfriend so thats no go period, so I'm not going to act any differently and remain friends. Its not easy and my feelings arent subsiding even after almost a couple of months.

What I really want to know is how her husband tricked you into thinking he was a female roommate.

Oh yes I failed to mention this happened over the lol internet. Yep, that is a first for me. I usually was the type to laugh at people for internet relationships. But over the last months we and her had been talking on phone, mic and etc.

The only way I was ever in touch with the "roomie" was through chat and gmail.

I should have stuck my "hahah you're a loser for falling for someone over the internet attitude". lol

love is a strange thing anythings possible.

To be honest the women I love's boyfriend story doesnt entirely add up either. But that doesnt mean I can do anything about it bar remain friends.

From your second post, I say KILL IT WITH FIRE. Srsly. WTF? There are some normal women out there too, you know. Normal in this case being not messing with people's feelings just for the thrill of it.

Yea thats what I'm thinking. Whatever is going on with this twisted bull**** still leaves me with one of the two options above.

She seems to be very heart set on my friendship though. She burst out crying when I mentioned I was considering getting the **** out of her life.

If I were you I'd ask her to get the **** out of your life instead. That might make her rethink her actions, and maybe will save some poor fella a heartbreak later on. And then you could tell the story about this psycho person to your next girlfriend. Seems like the only right thing to do IMO. However, I'm not you, and hence, can probably judge the situation more logically.

heyyyy whats that supposed to mean?

after i read you first post i thought you should stay friends, however after your second post, i would say get out faster than an epileptic being chased by someone with a strobe light! seriously someone who would lure you into thinking you have a chance AND involve their husband in it!!!!!! shes got some issues man!

Yeh she does have issues. Thats no lie. She does.

On the other hand, as much as I despise what the two of them did, she still, overall, is a great person in terms of personality and fun.

But yes, that was definatly twisted. I'm still waiting to talk to the husband to get his version of this story. I want to get to the bottom of why the **** they pulled something like that.

Become best friends with the husband! He's probably a cool dude.

Hahaha, he actually is. XD

Yeh, through and through, at this point I know all there is left is friendship. Nor can I trust her in any romantic situation, so don't think there is anything left she can do to me.

She's already killed my heart. lol

It seems to me she (they?!) played you for a fool. Her child will not go away, and therefore she will not be leaving her husband any time soon.

I'd cut her loose, simply for stringing you along. If she's serious about a relationship with you, tell her you'll welcome her with open arms when she brings you the finalized divorce papers.

Seriously, short of divorce with her husband, how could you ever be sure of the relationship?

Besides, we don't want to see our Jeppers get burned again.

There is a stage of friendship that can only be achieved with an ex-girlfriend. It's called the '**** buddy' stage. You can only get there if you stay her friend. The marriage might slow the process down a bit, but, she's going to get bored soon enough.

Of course, that only works with real girlfriends. Hahaha Jeppie fell for someone over the internet hahaha!

Meh, I would just want a friendship at this point. I know a relationship is never going to happen. I am already burned by this, I'm just doing my best not to be emo about it. There is no point to it afterall, I'd just end up hurting longer.

As I've said before, I'm not blind to the fact they ****ed with my head. I just think that when its all said and done, they are fun people nonetheless.

Obviously I could not be very close friends. Just buddy buddy.

Basically at this point, I will say this, I am well aware that any lover relationship with her is out of the question. I'm not interested by it anymore. I have the two options I posted in the poll. Stay friends, and know thats all there will ever be, or walk away and leave someone that, although they have issues, is still a good person deep down inside.

I would again say - give it some space. you recognise the situation is f***ed up, but you're still struggling with how you feel. take a few months to decompress, and then reevaluate whether you want her in your life.

and on a side note - you attract the most messed up women!

I know and I am so fed up with it. At this point I just want someone to build a future with, damn it.

I'm not desperatly looking for it either, this **** pops up in my face when I'm finally happy. le-sigh ._.

Still you are right, taking some distance is a definate must. Now my wonder is how much distance? lol

Maevie's right...I'm starting to notice a pattern here!

Correct if wrong. If said girl had feelings for you then what seems like a sudden "oh I guess I don't, sorry about that" I would definitely walk away.

oh god this is such a messed up situation

run don't walk

Yeh, Jon, I agree, lol.



I'm actually unsure if its "I don't" or "I can't".

But yes, there is a pattern. I attract ****ed up people. Like Kirby. And Jess. And this... Jess.

HAHAH I just realised my last two *****es were called the same XD

"can't" implies that she is prohibited from having feelings for you in some fashion. There are certainly many reasons. I'm voting for "don't" just based on my jaded, cynical side and well, your unfortunate history.

Ouch..

Oh I meant no insult whatsoever.

And will you get your cul on MSN!

itt we are making jepman cry

Cry, nah. Wake up, yea.

I think I will end this **** after all.

Maybe I should go cut my arms with a circular saw.

[RIGHT].[/RIGHT]

O.o

I think Jep needs some Mantrain.

Running is safe. If you want to try and maintain a friendship, then maevie is right, give yourself some space first.


Crazy womens.

I probably wouldn't be as emo as the OP anyways.

Get out. These people are bat**** insane. I don't care how I voted, that's before I read your second post.