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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Best resume EVER
Best resume EVER
2007-06-05, 11:10 AM #1
Hahahaha, this is great. I stumbled across it while searching for employment stuff on the RIT website.

http://www.rit.edu/~jwl6856/imm/resume.html

The really sad part is that there's much worse out there.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2007-06-05, 11:21 AM #2
Yeah, that's pretty terrible. The rest of the website (which appears to be for some sort of class) is also atrocious.
[This message has been edited. Deal with it.]
2007-06-05, 11:23 AM #3
Heh, I know that guy.
"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor
2007-06-05, 11:40 AM #4
1997 emailed. They want their website back.
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2007-06-05, 11:46 AM #5
Originally posted by happydud:
1997 emailed. They want their website back.


An "on fire" animed .gif. I haven't seen one of those in a long while. Man, memories of a 56k and thinking 200 was the best ping ever.
2007-06-05, 12:46 PM #6
Yeah, it could definitely be improved with the use of frames, but other than that, what's wrong with it?
2007-06-05, 12:56 PM #7
Originally posted by Brian:
Yeah, it could definitely be improved with the use of frames, but other than that, what's wrong with it?


...

Please. I BEG you... tell me that was sarcastic.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2007-06-05, 1:14 PM #8
Other than the "racker" part, I thought it was very semi-professional.

The text portion anyway.
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2007-06-05, 1:24 PM #9
What you seem to fail to realise is that its a resume for WEB DESIGN.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2007-06-05, 2:50 PM #10
Originally posted by happydud:
1997 emailed. They want their website back.


Yeah, I was definitely smelling the era of Netscape and Geocities.
2007-06-05, 2:59 PM #11
Originally posted by Brian:
Yeah, it could definitely be improved with the use of frames, but other than that, what's wrong with it?


hahaha, that better be sarcasm or you're baby is a whale.
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2007-06-05, 5:29 PM #12
Good lord. I thought it was bad, until I scrolled down and say that the last-updated date was 2005. Wouldn't be so terrible if the site were a decade old. Maybe it's some kind of joke? Even if "on-fire" .gifs were still socially acceptable, who in their right mind would think it appropriate to use one on a "professional" resume site?
2007-06-05, 5:35 PM #13
Well at least the guy is honest. or is he?
Back again
2007-06-05, 5:47 PM #14
Under awards he listed video games and paint ball. I'm sure this is very serious.
"I got kicked off the high school debate team for saying 'Yeah? Well, **** you!'
... I thought I had won."
2007-06-05, 5:53 PM #15
Originally posted by Chaz Ghostle:
Under awards he listed video games and paint ball. I'm sure this is very serious.


Well, it's awards and interests.

But yeah, that's not something you put on a normal resume.
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-----------------------------@%
2007-06-05, 7:20 PM #16
Ah...memories of Fortunecity hosts and *.cjb.net URLs...
woot!
2007-06-05, 7:54 PM #17
Can someone please post an example of an OMGWTF PWNSAUCE resume for comparison please? I mean, it's a resume. Not rocket science. How much of a disparity between poor and excellent can there really be?
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-06-05, 7:58 PM #18
Wow, you really know nothing about resumes and employers if you really think that.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2007-06-05, 8:03 PM #19
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Can someone please post an example of an OMGWTF PWNSAUCE resume for comparison please? I mean, it's a resume. Not rocket science. How much of a disparity between poor and excellent can there really be?


Black Text. White background.

Omg you win.
"If you watch television news, you will know less about the world than if you just drink gin straight out of the bottle."
--Garrison Keillor
2007-06-05, 8:05 PM #20
Originally posted by Emon:
Wow, you really know nothing about resumes and employers if you really think that.


No. Actually, it's because whenever I ask for a good example of a resume, instead of getting one, I get responses like yours.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-06-05, 8:05 PM #21
Well it's not overly rediculous in terms of content, though there are some things in there (such as the paintball) that are irrelavent and will therefore be seen by a potential employer as "filler" which suggests that the gentleman does not have enough reall accomplishments to fill out a whole resume. But the thing that really stands out is that he's seeking employment in an IT field and his resume is terribly unprofessional. It looks like something I could whip up in about 10 minutes in Yahoo's Geocities page builder (and I have a very mediocre grasp of web programming). That's not going to reflect well, especially in the line of work he's pursuing.

[if you want an example of a good, professional resume, pull up the templates in MS Office. They're pretty cliched, but they're a good starting point.]
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2007-06-05, 8:08 PM #22
Originally posted by Freelancer:
No. Actually, it's because whenever I ask for a good example of a resume, instead of getting one, I get responses like yours.

I'm lazy. :saddowns:
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2007-06-05, 8:10 PM #23
Me too. That's why I asked one of you to provide one instead of typing two words into GIS.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-06-05, 8:12 PM #24
...and my relavant, helpful post has officially been completely ignored for the sake of starting an argument...

gotta love massassi.
:p
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2007-06-05, 8:22 PM #25
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Me too. That's why I asked one of you to provide one instead of typing two words into GIS.

Actually it's only one.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2007-06-05, 8:22 PM #26
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Can someone please post an example of an OMGWTF PWNSAUCE resume for comparison please? I mean, it's a resume. Not rocket science. How much of a disparity between poor and excellent can there really be?


How about the resume of Alexander Preuss? He's pretty far into his career though, so he doesn't have all of the "interests" stuff. His site and work also speak for themselves.
"Flowers and a landscape were the only attractions here. And so, as there was no good reason for coming, nobody came."
2007-06-05, 8:37 PM #27
ARGH.... small caps... my EYES ARE BLEEDING

And Emon, when I typed it I typed "good resume"... and I got some good ones.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-06-05, 8:46 PM #28
Originally posted by Freelancer:
ARGH.... small caps... my EYES ARE BLEEDING

And Emon, when I typed it I typed "good resume"... and I got some good ones.


just imagine the results you'd have gotten if you'd typed in "great resume"

...
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2007-06-06, 7:32 AM #29
or "AWESOMESAUCE resume"
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2007-06-06, 10:00 AM #30
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Can someone please post an example of an OMGWTF PWNSAUCE resume for comparison please? I mean, it's a resume. Not rocket science. How much of a disparity between poor and excellent can there really be?


I'm pretty happy with mine at the moment:

PDF (46kb)
2007-06-06, 10:12 AM #31
This resume scored me a job at Lockheed:

http://www.sinesententia.com/resume.pdf

I don't think it is an "AWESOMESAUCE" resume, but it worked out pretty well for me.
[This message has been edited. Deal with it.]
2007-06-06, 6:29 PM #32
Wow, the resume itself isn't so impressive as what's on it. :eek:
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-06-06, 7:24 PM #33
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Wow, the resume itself isn't so impressive as what's on it. :eek:

Well, the point of a resume is to sell yourself to a potential employer. I would rather "wow" them with what I know instead of how aesthetically pleasing I make my resume.
[This message has been edited. Deal with it.]
2007-06-06, 7:25 PM #34
Originally posted by Malus:
This resume scored me a job at Lockheed:

http://www.sinesententia.com/resume.pdf

I don't think it is an "AWESOMESAUCE" resume, but it worked out pretty well for me.


Are you a rocket scientist?
Epstein didn't kill himself.
2007-06-06, 7:37 PM #35
Originally posted by Spook:
Are you a rocket scientist?

I work on satellite systems now, which is close enough. I don't think I'm a genius by any means, but I do have a pretty strong interest in my field.
[This message has been edited. Deal with it.]
2007-06-06, 8:50 PM #36
Whenever someone asks you what you do, just say you work at Lockheed Martin. When they ask you what you're working on, be like:

"I'm not at liberty to say. :ninja:"
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2007-06-06, 9:29 PM #37
Originally posted by Emon:
Whenever someone asks you what you do, just say you work at Lockheed Martin. When they ask you what you're working on, be like:

"I'm not at liberty to say. :ninja:"

Well, I basically said all I'm really allowed to say. :P
[This message has been edited. Deal with it.]
2007-06-06, 10:25 PM #38
Hey, Malus. Just so you know, if you work at Lockheed Martin, you can get some pretty good discounts on cellphone service with T-Mobile. Give me a call. :ninja:

:)
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2007-06-07, 6:49 AM #39
Originally posted by Sarn_Cadrill:
Hey, Malus. Just so you know, if you work at Lockheed Martin, you can get some pretty good discounts on cellphone service with T-Mobile. Give me a call. :ninja:

:)

I would consider if I wasn't locked into Verizon for another 1.5 years. :(
[This message has been edited. Deal with it.]

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