OK, here's the story. I met this girl in my senior year of high school (2005-2006). We weren't friends or anything, more like associates. We end up going to the same community college and I started talking to her in January. I asked her for girl advice and I realized she was an awesome person. Needless to say, the other girl didn't have feelings for me. By April, we had become good friends and talked practically everyday and I developed feelings for her. I couldn't ask her out do to the fact she had a boyfriend. She told me about him and all their drama. They broke up three or four times prior to the breakup I'll tell you about next and apparently they really liked each other. Finally, a few days ago they broke up for what she told me was the final time. He apparently lied to her about him having a new girlfriend and claimed he just needed time alone. Whatever the heck that means. Since the end of last month, we've become really good friends. We're in contact almost everyday. I just don't wanna overdo it.
My questions:
How long will it take her to get over him?
How can I prevent her from going back to him?
How can I

Being a rebound isn't fun in the long run.

EDIT: my advise is as follows - go and tell her how you feel about her, get the "but we're friends" excuse, find a different chick. Will save you time and worry.

That's a bit of a generalisation no? I've known women (and men) who have fallen in love with someone they've known as friends for years, so it would be harsh to claim that he's screwed per default.

As to the first question: There is no set time for getting over someone, and I don't know the girl as well as you do, so I can't give any estimate.
Second question: It's first and foremost up to her to prevent going back to him, you can give all the advice you want, it's up to her to heed it and not go back to him. As you're in no position to tie her down, and being overly protective might only result in you pushing her away from you. So basically, give sage advice when she asks for it and hope she listens to it.

Now you're just giving him false hope. Oh, and don't doubt for a second that she'll make up with her boyfriend (probably within the month). Excuse my cynicism, but really, you'd be much better off if you find someone else.

Long run?

...that is epic

Your love for her will blind you, Patriot.

She is not ready for you. She hasn't had time to think about what went wrong in her relationship.

If you act now, your love will suffer.

That depends on how long they went out and how much she cared for him. Sometimes it takes several months if not longer. There's even those times when the relationship has been so stale for so long that they're both over it before they even break up.


You can't. If she's the type of girl that still partakes in the type of relationship where breakups are a common occurrence there's no guarantee that anything will be different this time. Unless you're looking for nothing more than a fling, I would seriously consider holding off for a bit to see how things unfold (imagine his reaction when she goes back to her ex-boyfriend and tells him how you confessed your feelings for her). If she likes you more than anyone else, she'll most likely confront you when she's ready. If she doesn't, she's either going to go back to him, has found someone she likes more than you, or simply doesn't like you in that way in the first place. Besides, it sounds as if she probably knows how you feel about her. Let's face it, most guys tend to become close friends only with females that they're attracted to and most of them are aware of this.

I'm in a similar situation, except the girl i love hasn't had a boyfriend, just a crush on another guy. Now we're basically going out and she made me the happiest I've been in a long time.

My advice is be patient. It took me a full year to get to where I've been. Be her best friend for as long as you can be, and maybe she'll eventually realize that you're more than that. :]

You guys are nuts.

Yes...patience. Discipline.

Don't make it obvious you like her.

I'm with you on this.

Go out with her somewhere to dinner, a movie, etc...

Take her home. Walk her to the door. Grow some balls. Kiss her. Problem solved immediately. She'll either bite or not.

What a wonderfully line of thinking.

Well I meant, don't seem desperate

She can't go back to him if she's dead, in your freezer.

Just sayin'...

I agree. I've discovered that there's an opportunity cost to being patient. Although, maybe my lack of success is I put things in economic terms too often.

This is true. I'm not saying give up all hope of ever doing anything, just don't do anything silly unless it seems like the right moment. That being said, I'd like to contradict myself completely and say that girls like it when you're compulsive and romantic. Good luck!