Massassi. I need your help very badly. My friend has fallen victim of the whiles of a sultry sinister dame.

On the 3rd of July we stopped in at a local diner. When ordering our meals, my friend, who we’ll call Nuf Nuf, ordered two separate meals in the intention to eat both of them. The waitress asked him if he was going to finish it. Being the cocky person which he is, he asked her if that was a challenge. She told him that it was, and that if he didn’t finish all of the food, he would have to drink “5, no, 10, wait, 12 shots of syrup!” in her exact words. He accepted the challenge and began to stuff his food down his gullet until he was holding his sides and rocking back and forth.

Nuf Nuf, managed to eat all of the food and crumbs on his plate, then the waitress returned to our table to check on us. She pointed out that he hadn’t finished his goblet of ranch dressing or fry sauce. He tried for a few minutes to down his ranch, but couldn’t pull it off. The waitress promptly returned with four shots of syrup.



My friend downed them all, then threw up in the gutter outside of the establishment. He returned and finished the remaining shots of syrup in the space on an hour. Afterward he felt immensely sick and drove my other friend and I home. According to his mother he felt awful the next morning. No duh.



OKAY. This is where you guys come in. Nuf Nuf, wants to go back and see the waitress again. He finds himself smitten with her. I’m afraid another visit to the place may cost him his life. I mean, how much syrup is it healthy to drink straight in one sitting?

Any advice on this situation would help greatly. Thanks.

Well I hear the actors actually chugged syrup from the bottle for that one scene in Super Troopers, so I wouldn't worry about it.

It's just sugar.

Unless he happens to be diabetic, of course.

Yeah, we bet a friend to do it once. Took him about 20 seconds, but it didn't look all that difficult. Gave him a killer headache, and then he pretty much puked it all up and then slept on the couch for a half an hour while we were watching TV.

What a tool.

Who does stuff like that for a girl that is obviously out of their league?

I'm kinda wondering. The only thing I can see happening at worse is him getting severely dehydrated from all that sugar. Which, I mean, could get pretty bad.

As they say, enough of anything can kill you.

when they get the syrup in em they get a little antsy in the pantsy

I wish some random chick would do something that would end in me chugging syrup.

I'm surprised he didn't suffer a diabetic coma from all that sugar. I know I'd probably barf myself silly if I drank all that syrup.

BTW, if you reeeeealllly want to dare someone with eating food, try eating a large wad of wasabi

It's going to be funny when your friend goes back there, jumps through stupid chit-chat-increase-her-tips hoops only to find out she has a boyfriend, and she jokingly challenges most people to silly little things like that.

Was the syrup free?

Yup, the only thing worse than a female waittress is a female bartender. They all know very well that flirting will increase their tips.

You got photos of your friend doing this, but didn't get photos of the waitress he was doing it for...?

Don't tempt him!

He will only make things harder for me!

I have a friend that did this once. C'ept I was facing west.

That is a really good point. Perhaps if my idiot friend goes back I'll come with him and bring my camera. The syrup was free. Though I thought it would have been hilarious if he had chugged till he was sick, then had to pay for it.

Classic cognitive dissonance. She tricks him into doing something that a person would normally never do, and later when he has to justify his foolishness to himself, he decides he must have done it because he really liked her.

There's nothing you can do. Psychological glitches > you.

Well if it works I can't blame them - and I've had male waiters do it too.

The awkward part was when a female waitress tried to flirt with me though. I didn't catch it because I'm oblivious to these things, however my friend did.

Attractive males being overly friendly to females aren't quite the same as attractive females being overly friendly to males...

I remember when some girl gave me a roofie. At least it tasted like strawberries.

Mmm, strawberries.

She was probably trying to get you to pay the bill.

They used corn syrup for the kanar in Deep Space Nine. And then one of the Cardassian characters became an alcoholic on the show and they had to switch to some sort of cornstarch mixture because he kept getting wired.

your friend is a bit of an idiot.

What?! You cant see the over abundance of sparkling intelligence behind this bright youths eyes?



And yeah, we went back last night, she wasn't there though, so he's still alive.

Only from the neck down

That sounded harsher than I intended.