Saw a talkshow this morning where they were interviewing different people who had experience with/were writing about getting "revenge" on one's ex for infidelity etc. Supposedly, acccording to the members of the panel (including "doctor" of pyschology) revenge can be a healthy way to emotionally recover after being wronged...by taking back emotional control somehow. They suggested basically that if you can do something hurtful without resorting to fraud/slander murder/attempted murder, it's basically OK and probably good for you!

To give you an idea of what kind of tactics are justified in this view, one of the show's guests in particular gave the address to his
site/ dedicated to helping people get revenge on ex's.


Thoughts?

wheres the fun if you're not gonna ruin them for the rest of their lives?

Bull****.

'Revenge' will only resort to petty tit-for-tat conflict. Eventually, someone will have to resort to reconciliation, so it as very well be you.

That site is absurd and degrading. How is he to judge whether each 'revenge' is justified (I could just as well use it to torment one of you guys, just because I'm a dick), and more importantly who is he to judge? He exists purely to make money off of other people's misery.

I pretty much agree with Mort-Hog...

Although... there was one story where a groom had found out his bride-to-be was sleeping with the best man. As a way of getting revenge the groom went ahead with the wedding with his friend posing as the minister (I assume so the ceremony wouldn't be binding)...and then later walked out of the reception hall just before his friend toasted the bride and the bestman to wish them "all the best" on their new life together. The groom's parents had been told this was going happen beforehand.

I don't know if this approach was an example of unethical revenge so much as an effectively timed way to introduce honesty to the situation. After all, it was her choice to go ahead with lying to all the wedding guests/making a mockery of the ceremony.

I guess the better thing to do would have been to quietly cancel the wedding when he found out he was being cheated on...not to spare her humiliation, but for the sake of all the innocent guests. Still, the gesture with which the breakup was executed sortof underscores the idea that when you cheat on someone, you're really cheating on the whole community. blah

All revenge does is create more hostility and anger, and it doesn't limit itself to the revengee, when you have anger in your life everyone you come in contact with knows it, and it brings them down.

Revenge makes things more complicated.

yeah, i think mort-hog pretty much hit the nail directly on the head with that one

Always.

Good point. I guess what annoys me is the claims made by various people (including this guy with the website) that their personal experience of getting revenge was "healthy" and "healing" and "fun," and that it "helped them to move on." In other words...revenge is your cut-off point...closure...analogous to the smoker's last cigarette.

In my opinion the talkshow/website/bookwriters are just trying to play on the crowd's fascination with the idea of revenge... I think most people feel revenge is wrong, yet still (at some point or another) contemplate it and (however briefly,) justify returning evil for evil in their own mind.

Screw you guys.


Revenge is AWESOME.

See what I mean? Rob seems to favor revenge, and it's not like he's an angry person that brings everyone else down.

haha you would say that

You exact revenge on someone... they feel like they have to exact revenge on you.

Not if you exact revenge right.

Forgiveness is always the best way to go.

Someone like you who goes about making fun of horrible, tragic, devestation events like 9/11 would say something like that.


I can't decide who is worse, you are that lolicon harvesting weirdo with the girlfriend that has a 9 o'clock bedtime.

That's the same reason why venting is considered bad. It makes you feel better in the short term, but the long term effects are far worse.

There's actually no such thing as "bottling up" anger over time. Bottling up feelings so as to let yourself get pushed around, maybe, but anger is just a set of chemical processes in the brain, and once it fades, it's gone.

Hahaha, I agree with Rob.

But I think 9/11 is funny too.

Rob, your bad attitude brings down everything around you. Can't you just stop hating?

He's rob.

Axis, it may be you're just jealous that your moral code doesn't allow you to get revenge on others apart from making comments about their "bad attitude." Hm...revenge is too nebulous a term in my opinion. I think it would give this thread more of a point if "revenge" was discussed in terms of whether it could be emotionally healthy to pull some kind of retalitory prank on a lover who cheated on you. Or, provide your own example if you want.

Maybe you should go die 2,973 times. Seriously.

2,973 people. I'm really supposed to not be even slightly upset. :/

Is it somehow my fault that the events of 9/11 took place?

No.

But you sure didn't have to make fun of them like a giant douchebag.

It was never intended to make fun of them. The site doesn't even exist anymore, I made it back when I was in middle school, and have apologized. What I posted then is by no means the way I feel right now. I've completely come to understand the error of my way with that and changed.

How you can possibly still obsess over that is beyond me. I've tried to clear things up with you, but you seem to hate for the sake of hate.

Does it bother you that you tried SO HARD to offend everyone, and really didn't succede. But I do it on a daily basis just by being myself?

I mean come on, we know why you changed your name to "Axis." Axis powersl, Hitler, etc.

Kind of sad that you have to be such a try hard at being such a sicko. :/

I actually try to not offend people, because I think the world runs more smoothly that way.

I think you stopped trying so hard because no one was really paying attention to you.

What?

Oh for ****'s sake...

Is it really that hard to just, oh, I don't know, not reply? Is it that difficult? I would think it'd be easier than actually trying to continue this ***** fest, but I might be wrong. Either way, Rob, Axis, I think you should give it a try.

Is the kind of attention you get really worth the effort? I mean, doesn't quality over quantity apply at some point?

Because I really care about attention on internet.

You've eight thousand seven hundred and fourteen posts to your credit that all say you do, one way or another.

You know the only real thing that bugs me about you is how you seamlessly morph from being serious to acting like you've just been screwing with someone as usual, if you have have trouble replying or just don't feel like arguing. Screwing with people is all fine and good, but that sort of strikes me as lame.

I post on internet.

Obviously it means I care about everything and only want attention on internet.

Based on previous conversations here, I tend to think revenge is far more justifiable than most of you. I mean... how isn't it?

Well, the way I see it, you never know who you're going to meet up with again. Taking out sweet revenge might feel good, but it might come back to bite you in the future. Everyone is different, but from my experience taking out revenge has usually meant having an inconviniently burnt bridge when I needed to get somewhere.

Burning bridges is just about the only downside I can see. You just have to make the decision whether revenge (and the memory of the revenge) are sweeter than whatever benefit a non-burned bridge may bring. If you make the decision that revenge is worth it, then go for it! (Edit: And I'm saying this in general, not specifically for dealing with exs.)

Generally, I say if revenge makes you emotionally happy, go for it. If it helps you get over it, you are putting your well being first. (I am VERY tired, so I may regret saying that in the morning)

Yeeess. Seek your revenge. Each act of aggression and vengeance brings you closer to the Dark Side.