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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → I need morphine...
12
I need morphine...
2007-08-15, 7:05 PM #1
I currently have two HORRIBLE aches... a tooth pain which I'm going to a dentist tomorrow to see what he can do, and... a WHOLE GROUP of infected taste buds, on the tip of my tongue. They are driving me mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :psyduck: :psyduck: :psyduck: :argh: I can't even speak right, I can't eat comfortably, I need to constantly move my tongue, and still it keeps hitting the interiors of my mouth and incredible amounts of pain are focused on a single spot on the tip of my tongue. I hate them!!!!!

I used to just cut them off with a pen handle exact knife, :hist101: or whatever they are called, and then I'd throw a little toothe paste on them. But these hurt 100 TIMES WORSE than those. Any one know of any good alternative home remedies?
Nothing to see here, move along.
2007-08-15, 7:09 PM #2
I have a rod jamming into the back of my kneecap that constantly strips cartilage, and probably bone off of the inside of my knee. I have begun nerve damage now, and I should be in shock. Instead I'm barely drinking alcohol on the weekends. You'll live.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-15, 7:10 PM #3
Whiskey.
>>untie shoes
2007-08-15, 7:12 PM #4
Originally posted by JediKirby:
I have a rod jamming into the back of my kneecap that constantly strips cartilage, and probably bone off of the inside of my knee. I have begun nerve damage now, and I should be in shock. Instead I'm barely drinking alcohol on the weekends. You'll live.


I'd give you my own wounded knee story, but meh, you wouldn't believe me anyways.

Originally posted by Antony:
Whiskey.


AY! I'll try that! BRB 5 minutes.
-----------------------------------------------
A few minutes later...
Back:

OMFG! Thanks Anthony! A shot of Jim Bean, and that even lessened the tooth pain! Wow, I feel a lot better now. Awesome stuff.
Nothing to see here, move along.
2007-08-15, 7:22 PM #5
LOLOLOL I DRINK
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-15, 7:23 PM #6
Actually Jim Beam is an old home remedy for toothaches. I don't know if it actually does anything or just gives you a buzz.
>>untie shoes
2007-08-15, 7:23 PM #7
Originally posted by JediKirby:
LOLOLOL I DRINK


Actually, I do drink a lot. I don't get drunk... but I've been dangerously close many a time. I better go get a few more shots before the pain acts up again.

Originally posted by Antony:
Actually Jim Beam is an old home remedy for toothaches. I don't know if it actually does anything or just gives you a buzz.


My brother would like to have a word with you... and he's a MUCH heavier drinker than I am or any one I know.
Nothing to see here, move along.
2007-08-15, 7:24 PM #8
Originally posted by SF_GoldG_01:
I'd give you my own wounded knee story, but meh, you wouldn't believe me anyways.


Your wounded knee story, cannot, in any way, shape, or form, make you out to have EVER been in more pain than Kirbs, who has gone though.... how many surgeries? Some of which he's had a low probability of coming out of alive if memory serves.

If you have a tooth ache and infected taste buds (how the **** does THAT even happen?) maybe you should take better care of your mouth.
"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
Are you finding Ling-Ling's head?
Last Stand
2007-08-15, 7:28 PM #9
Originally posted by SF_GoldG_01:
My brother would like to have a word with you... and he's a MUCH heavier drinker than I am or any one I know.


Believe me, I'm a MUCH heavier drinker than he is.
>>untie shoes
2007-08-15, 7:32 PM #10
Originally posted by phoenix_9286:
If you have a tooth ache and infected taste buds (how the **** does THAT even happen?) maybe you should take better care of your mouth.


Muff diving in Tiujana.
>>untie shoes
2007-08-15, 7:34 PM #11
And on our next episode of "Doctor Massassi"... :eng101:
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2007-08-15, 7:35 PM #12
Originally posted by Antony:
Muff diving in Tiujana.


I just spit my drink all over the desk.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-15, 7:41 PM #13
And electrically shocked yourself??

And on our next episode of "Doctor Massassi"... :eng101:
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2007-08-15, 7:51 PM #14
Originally posted by JediKirby:
I just spit my drink all over the desk.


And it's already been sig quoted. :awesome:
"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
Are you finding Ling-Ling's head?
Last Stand
2007-08-15, 7:54 PM #15
Originally posted by Lord_Grismath:
And electrically shocked yourself??

And on our next episode of "Doctor Massassi"... :eng101:

And you're still illegally impersonating a TV reality show host and doctor??

And on our next episode of "Law and Order"... :hist101:
I had a blog. It sucked.
2007-08-15, 7:55 PM #16
Originally posted by SF_GoldG_01:
I used to just cut them off with a pen handle exact knife, :hist101: or whatever they are called, and then I'd throw a little toothe paste on them. But these hurt 100 TIMES WORSE than those. Any one know of any good alternative home remedies?

:eek:
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2007-08-15, 8:03 PM #17
That's not that amazing. I'd probably do the same thing. Once you cut something off of your body once, it gets pretty easy. I don't bother digging out splinters anymore. I gouge them out like you pare an apple. If I had a puffy tongue and it started to harden, I'd lob it off in a heartbeat.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-15, 8:12 PM #18
Except when you cut one of the major veins in the the tongue and bleed to death...
2007-08-15, 8:35 PM #19
It's probably from being a bad person.
2007-08-15, 8:37 PM #20
Hmm. I hear mansex reduces pain. You should try that and tell us how it is. :ninja:
My blawgh.
2007-08-15, 8:39 PM #21
Brush your teeth
D E A T H
2007-08-15, 8:42 PM #22
Replacing one pain for another is not a reduction, but instead of a relocation. Not my alternative today. Thank you.
Nothing to see here, move along.
2007-08-15, 8:44 PM #23
You'd have to cut on the under side, or middle of your tongue to cut a major artery. Not to mention, we're shaving the surface of the tongue (Hypothetically. I don't eat muff in Mexico) not actually cutting like a chopping board. Don't say stupid things.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-15, 8:44 PM #24
Originally posted by SF_GoldG_01:
Replacing one pain for another is not a reduction, but instead of a relocation. Not my alternative today. Thank you.

If you think brushing your teeth is painful I hope I never have to smell your breath.
D E A T H
2007-08-15, 8:52 PM #25
Originally posted by Dj Yoshi:
If you think brushing your teeth is painful I hope I never have to smell your breath.


I brush my teeth 3 times a day... I have no trouble there. I just eat a lot of candy, atleast recently I have, and other things influence as well.
Nothing to see here, move along.
2007-08-15, 8:57 PM #26
Originally posted by SF_GoldG_01:
I'd give you my own wounded knee story, but meh, you wouldn't believe me anyways.


You could get shot in both knee caps with a .45 right after corrective surgery, and Kirby would still trump you.
2007-08-15, 11:04 PM #27
Originally posted by JediKirby:
That's not that amazing. I'd probably do the same thing. Once you cut something off of your body once, it gets pretty easy. I don't bother digging out splinters anymore. I gouge them out like you pare an apple. If I had a puffy tongue and it started to harden, I'd lob it off in a heartbeat.

Gouging out splinters isn't that bad. It just made me cringe to hear he was cutting things off his tongue. Cutting anything in any opening areas of the body just seems like a bad idea. If my tongue started to harden, I think I'd rather pawn off my computer and see a doctor rather than take a pen knife to it...and I trust my incision and little aftercare skills.
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2007-08-16, 12:25 AM #28
Originally posted by quesadilla_red:
Gouging out splinters isn't that bad. It just made me cringe to hear he was cutting things off his tongue. Cutting anything in any opening areas of the body just seems like a bad idea. If my tongue started to harden, I think I'd rather pawn off my computer and see a doctor rather than take a pen knife to it...and I trust my incision and little aftercare skills.


Yeah. What he's doing just sounds completely mental.

Then again... Why in the hell are we expecting something different?
"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
Are you finding Ling-Ling's head?
Last Stand
2007-08-16, 1:35 AM #29
Originally posted by Obi_Kwiet:
You could get shot in both knee caps with a .45 right after corrective surgery, and Kirby would still trump you.

This is one of the few things we've ever agreed on.
>>untie shoes
2007-08-16, 1:53 AM #30
Aw shucks you guys.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-16, 2:12 AM #31
Originally posted by phoenix_9286:
Yeah. What he's doing just sounds completely mental.

(he's lying. it's also painfully obvious he has never had alcohol before)
2007-08-16, 7:24 AM #32
As long as you're carving your tongue, Why not go ahead and do the split? I hear the ladies love it and you can taste with both sides!
If my smoking bothers you, don't breathe.
2007-08-16, 10:00 AM #33
Originally posted by quesadilla_red:
Gouging out splinters isn't that bad. It just made me cringe to hear he was cutting things off his tongue. Cutting anything in any opening areas of the body just seems like a bad idea.

Not to mention how full of bacteria the mouth is (though I guess saliva helps with that).

By the way, this thread is pure gold (no pun intended).
2007-08-16, 10:13 AM #34
Too many churros. :ninja:
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
2007-08-16, 10:20 AM #35
Originally posted by SF_GoldG_01:
I'd give you my own wounded knee story, but meh, you wouldn't believe me anyways.


and ill give you MY wounded knee story!... ehem... in December 1890, at a little place i like to call 'wounded knee creek'... oh wait... thats all grong. :psyduck:
Welcome to the douchebag club. We'd give you some cookies, but some douche ate all of them. -Rob
2007-08-16, 1:26 PM #36
Anyway, back to the original point, you don't NEED morphine, you would LIKE morphine. >.>

Assuming morphine is a pain killer. :P
nope.
2007-08-16, 1:27 PM #37
Originally posted by Baconfish:
Anyway, back to the original point, you don't NEED morphine, you would LIKE morphine. >.>

Assuming morphine is a pain killer. :P


I've needed morphine before. Literally, as in otherwise I was unable to maintain consciousness. :psyduck:
2007-08-16, 1:29 PM #38
Yeah, I was born with an addiction to morphine, so I NEEDed it too.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-08-16, 1:30 PM #39
Originally posted by JediKirby:
Yeah, I was born with an addiction to morphine, so I NEEDed it too.


:psyduck:
2007-08-16, 1:31 PM #40
Originally posted by Cool Matty:
I've needed morphine before. Literally, as in otherwise I was unable to maintain consciousness. :psyduck:


Man, you must have been preeeetty addicted. :v:
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
1473 for '1337' posts.
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