So about 5 minutes ago, some idiot added me on MSN and started calling me crap:

Translated from colloquial Australian:
HIM: HEY YOU HANDSOME DEVIL I HEARD YOU'VE BEEN WINING AND DINING LUCY
Me: I have?
HIM: DON'T GET SMART WITH ME YOU STUNNINGLY ATTRACTIVE MAN
Me: ok...
HIM: I'M CARL AND I'M GONNA SLAP YOU SILLY AND DRINK, (he went on for about 5 minutes on his professional techinique of throwing back shots between pitchers of beer)
Me: fine, I'll stay away from her...
HIM: YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM HER OR I'M GONNA (he kept talking about the same crap all over again) YOU GET THAT?
Me: Sure, which Lucy?
HIM: MY SISTER YOU FIRM CHESTED GENTLEMAN (I couldn't get him to stop cussing me out)
Me: I'm sorry, the only Lucy I know doesn't have a brother, and I don't remember taking her out recently because I have sex with a lot of different women quite often.
HIM: STFU RICH SEXY MAN. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE COUNTRY YOU FOOL, YOU JUST WALK OUTSIDE YOUR HOME AND I'LL SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR EXPENSIVE AND HIGH-CLASS CAR (kept monologing about a whole lot of other things and outback talk).
Me: Sure, you do know where I live right? Or would you like me to give you my adress? Not that I'd need to, you only need to look for the large luxury house with all the women inside.
HIM: I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! I OWN A FARM.
*Thats when I realized how to stupid this idiot really was*
Me: Oh thats awesome. I don't live near a farm though.
*5 minutes later
HIM: STFU! I'M GOING TO GET YOU BRUCE!
*He disconects.
*I laugh out loud. And wonder, how this idiot ever got this e-mail. Probably one my many disgruntled ex-girlfriends.

But seriously I get all kinds of crazy women adding me and calling me crap all the time, and it all turns out to be stalkers or just steamy girls wanting sex. Is there anyway to avoid getting these sensual women on your contact list, because I'd really rather just talk over dinner in a French restaurant before taking her back to my place for a night of passionate love making.

lulz

Facepalm.

Some of your ex-girlfiends are men? Now that explains a few things.

i think you got him pregnant

It might be a guy - sure enough they want their fair share of my good looks - but my suspicions are that it's actually a sensual young lass desperate for my comforts.

Can I touch your comforts?

Yay jinbabies

Uncle Buck is my hero, he put onions in the eggs.

And made pancakes the size of Buicks.

OH man, who's an internet toughguy. You stole that story about spiders!

who cares stop whining be a bit more cody coker

This story just furthers my theory that all women named Lucy are crazy.

them theres spiders

Those look like harvestmen, not spiders.

Did you rape a girl, too? Card all of them. Rape victims always lie.

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

or... eat them?

With fire!

Or kill it with fire and THEN eat them.

Yuuuuuuum. BBQ spider things.

You guys suck.

you people did my work for me with Jin Taunting

That always looks like pubes to me.

Nay, Them theres Daddy Long Legs.
I should know, we have a hell of a lot of them around here. Though I've never seen quite that many.

Every time I see this thread in the Discussion Forum I assume it is about me.

Yup.

I remember saying the same thing when I heard that song.

Every. Single. Lucy. Is. Batty.

The fact that one of Acid's street names is "Lucy" should tip you off to the fact that girls named Lucy are ****ing crazy.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds.