The 7 Deadly Sins as a Viable Marketing Strategy for Mankind
Limited, unedited PREMIUM CLASS edition. Or why exactly did John Romero make you his *****.
[original] (language)
***
So, I'm procrastinating again, finding excuses *not* to write fiction that would eventually propel me into the Rock & Roll stardom of the literary world. High-speed sports motorcycles and clean lines of fine powdered cocaine would have to wait just a little bit longer.
We people are a social animal (furries are, of course, disqualified from the human race) – and as such, we tend to interact a lot. This usually culminates in someone having sex, someone getting brutally murdered, or someone making lots of money, and sometimes in all three at the same time. But of course, we, in our ingenious (or rather, absence of) plan of building humanity, developed a cunning system that allows us to know who and at what time someone’s getting murdered, or being ****ed, and exactly how much money those doing the ****ing and the murdering make.
This very cunning system can be easily summed up by the abbreviation “LV.” Liberal Values. Money, ladies and gentlemen, money.
Technically, ANYTHING you see around you is a form of money. Say, take the monitor you’re reading this from. It was probably assembled somewhere in China out of spare parts left from three vibrators and vacuum cleaner, then shipped to the States or Europe where you happily bought it as an A-grade product. If your monitor’s Japanese, replace vibrators and vacuum cleaners by a talking robot dog and the malevolent Samurai spirit.
Imagine the CHAIN OF MONEY from the guy standing behind a conveyer reassembling vacuum cleaners and vibrators into your monitor to pay off his rent, to his immediate supervisor, to the guy in charge of shipping whose immediate life-goal is to buy a bigger monitor of a rival company, to ten-twenty other people making a living from this business, and finally to the CEOs of the company who don’t even really need the money anymore, but know for an absolute fact that quitting is for quitters.
If you do this right, you shouldn’t be seeing a monitor anymore, but a monitor-shaped geometrical figure made out of digits and currency signs. Just like the Matrix, except rather than binary code, it’s all accounting figures.
All this just for one ****ing monitor.
Lets look at the bigger picture now. Politics. Religion. Television. Art. Pornography. All what makes if not us, then at least the world we live in. Everything is essentially a business. And every business is ruled by money. Politics and religion simply use people as their primary assets, television would cease to exist without advertising, and art and pornography are essentially the same - they both sell an escape from reality of knowing that your monitor’s a Samurai robotic dog vibrator made by a 10 year old kid in a sweatshop in Taiwan, and the fact that you haven’t been laid since the days the dinosaurs walked the Earth.
Our consumerism is based on one simple axiom of life. In fact, we can even go so far as to assume that the entire MEANING of life was already answered by a very clever marketing slogan:
JIM BEAM: YOU ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE BASICS.
It’s not just that “we pay for **** that we don’t need” – it’s more that good marketing agencies simply know how to tie in our primal instincts with our over-developed shells of “civilised” beings. The original Catholic (a religious business less open in its practices of making money than the more see-through and modern Scientology, but much more successful – probably for the very same reasons) 7 deadly sins are as follows: lust, gluttony, sloth, greed, wrath, envy, pride.
Next time you watch TV for at least an hour, note how many programs, films, and advertisements call out at least to one of those feelings.
“Oh man, this movie’s never gonna cash – we need about 70% more explosions, goddamit!”
“Hey guys, we need to sell some soap! Hey, lets put this hot chick in an ad, and make the angry housewives envy her, knowing that the only way they’ll ever look just as good is if they’ll use our soap! Hooray!”
Long things short:
ROLEX: TAKE PRIDE IN BEING ONE RICH MOTHER****ER.
Good? Bad? It’s simply what we chose. So I guess it’s what we wanted. So to paraphrase a line from the most high-production-values pornographic movie ever, “Let’s stare our fear straight in the eyes, and kick it square in the genitals.”
Limited, unedited PREMIUM CLASS edition. Or why exactly did John Romero make you his *****.
[original] (language)
***
So, I'm procrastinating again, finding excuses *not* to write fiction that would eventually propel me into the Rock & Roll stardom of the literary world. High-speed sports motorcycles and clean lines of fine powdered cocaine would have to wait just a little bit longer.
We people are a social animal (furries are, of course, disqualified from the human race) – and as such, we tend to interact a lot. This usually culminates in someone having sex, someone getting brutally murdered, or someone making lots of money, and sometimes in all three at the same time. But of course, we, in our ingenious (or rather, absence of) plan of building humanity, developed a cunning system that allows us to know who and at what time someone’s getting murdered, or being ****ed, and exactly how much money those doing the ****ing and the murdering make.
This very cunning system can be easily summed up by the abbreviation “LV.” Liberal Values. Money, ladies and gentlemen, money.
Technically, ANYTHING you see around you is a form of money. Say, take the monitor you’re reading this from. It was probably assembled somewhere in China out of spare parts left from three vibrators and vacuum cleaner, then shipped to the States or Europe where you happily bought it as an A-grade product. If your monitor’s Japanese, replace vibrators and vacuum cleaners by a talking robot dog and the malevolent Samurai spirit.
Imagine the CHAIN OF MONEY from the guy standing behind a conveyer reassembling vacuum cleaners and vibrators into your monitor to pay off his rent, to his immediate supervisor, to the guy in charge of shipping whose immediate life-goal is to buy a bigger monitor of a rival company, to ten-twenty other people making a living from this business, and finally to the CEOs of the company who don’t even really need the money anymore, but know for an absolute fact that quitting is for quitters.
If you do this right, you shouldn’t be seeing a monitor anymore, but a monitor-shaped geometrical figure made out of digits and currency signs. Just like the Matrix, except rather than binary code, it’s all accounting figures.
All this just for one ****ing monitor.
Lets look at the bigger picture now. Politics. Religion. Television. Art. Pornography. All what makes if not us, then at least the world we live in. Everything is essentially a business. And every business is ruled by money. Politics and religion simply use people as their primary assets, television would cease to exist without advertising, and art and pornography are essentially the same - they both sell an escape from reality of knowing that your monitor’s a Samurai robotic dog vibrator made by a 10 year old kid in a sweatshop in Taiwan, and the fact that you haven’t been laid since the days the dinosaurs walked the Earth.
Our consumerism is based on one simple axiom of life. In fact, we can even go so far as to assume that the entire MEANING of life was already answered by a very clever marketing slogan:
JIM BEAM: YOU ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE BASICS.
It’s not just that “we pay for **** that we don’t need” – it’s more that good marketing agencies simply know how to tie in our primal instincts with our over-developed shells of “civilised” beings. The original Catholic (a religious business less open in its practices of making money than the more see-through and modern Scientology, but much more successful – probably for the very same reasons) 7 deadly sins are as follows: lust, gluttony, sloth, greed, wrath, envy, pride.
Next time you watch TV for at least an hour, note how many programs, films, and advertisements call out at least to one of those feelings.
“Oh man, this movie’s never gonna cash – we need about 70% more explosions, goddamit!”
“Hey guys, we need to sell some soap! Hey, lets put this hot chick in an ad, and make the angry housewives envy her, knowing that the only way they’ll ever look just as good is if they’ll use our soap! Hooray!”
Long things short:
ROLEX: TAKE PRIDE IN BEING ONE RICH MOTHER****ER.
Good? Bad? It’s simply what we chose. So I guess it’s what we wanted. So to paraphrase a line from the most high-production-values pornographic movie ever, “Let’s stare our fear straight in the eyes, and kick it square in the genitals.”
幻術
