Ok there was a post that no longer is open but i feel the need to discuss this issue. Both sides have good and bad points and I really want to emphasize on those points. I have been married for almost a year. My wife has more guys friends than female friends. I do get jealous and I do have some insecurity issues admittedly. My wife is a very strong willed and flirty person and this has been the main issue that we have been arguing about for months. At first I did not condone to her having guy friends at all, but I realised the error of my ways because my wife is not my puppet. I cannot control her or make her change who she is, but I do believe that when you love a person you change, not because you have to, but it just happens. If someone has an issue with something and you express it, then the issue needs to be nipped at the root. The problem is finding the root. When my wife started having guy friends at work I noticed a decline in her sex drive towards me. I cannot say that she is cheating on me because I do not have proof that she has, but will admit that I have had my suspisions. I will admit that I have a higher than normal sex drive than the average male and that was not an issue until she started having guy friends and her sex drive dropped dramatically. Then I started to change, I started to occuse her to see if she would admit that she was cheating if she was. I started telling her I didn't want her to have guy friends. I know that you cant fight fire with fire so I sat down and thought about it and decided that all I was doing was pushing her away, if she was not cheating, she may want to now, and if she was, she would want to do it more not less. So I stopped being like that. She has a new guy friend and for the most part I have not said much about it. She talks about him all the time and when I was in the field he was taking her out to dinner and spending time with our kids. We got into a fight and she started telling me how much better he is with the kids and what I was doing wrong. I listened and am trying to make an effort to change. She talks to him every day and I want to know if I should be concerned? She says he is just a friend, but has admitted that she does have a sexual attraction to him and that she has not acted on it, but it is there. I will admit that I am wrong for numerous things. Now when she does not want to have sex with me I watch porn and get myself off. I might not tell her right away, but when she asks I do. Then I get chewed out for not telling her. I have never cheated on her (unless you consider watching porn cheating which some people do, in that case I guess I can say I have, but I have not slept with anyone else but her) and I personally do not have any female friends. I am male and I know me, even though I have never done anything, I still find other women attractive and in order to prevent me from doing something stupid that might hurt her, I prevent the situation all together by not being friends with females. If you consider that a self insecurity issue, then I am insecure, which I admitted earlier. My wife used to be a swinger, which I do not like because that is a good way to get diseases, plus I feel that there should be some things that are sacred in a relationship. My parents were very religious, me myself I am not, but I do believe that some topics covered by religion are correct, but more from the scientific point of view than the religious one. I will admit as to being curious. I think every guy has fantasized about having sex with two women at once. I even mentioned it to my wife that I was curious and that I would do the same for her because I think if I try to be more open minded that it will get rid of some of the jealousy. Also I think it might spice up our sex life and we will have sex more. Another thing is I wont concern myself with the fear that something is going on that I do not know about. I am also scared of getting a disease, I am scared that we will not have sex with each other at all, that she might find someone else to be better and that when we do have sex I will not be able to satisfy. I am scared that when I open up the relationship on that level that she might do things behind my back and it will hurt more because I opened up to her on the level that she does not need to do anything behind my back because I am willing to do anything for her and accept anything she wanted to do. I am scared that she might leave me for another man if I open up the relationship. I am scared that she might leave me for another man because I am not willing to open up the relationship. It's like I am stuck in a hard spot. If I have an issue with her being friends with guys then she might leave me because I cant accept it. If I open up the relationship and let her be friends with guys, or even open it up to the point she can do things with other guys she might find one of them to be better than me and leave. One time I had a buddy from work over. She talked and flirted with him (which made me jealous) and when he left she was ready for sex. When I try to get her in the mood she does not want it, she complains that I am doing things wrong, that I am not properly warming her up. She did not complain about anything I did to warm her up when we first got together and I had no problem getting her in the mood, in fact she would often want it more than I did. Now she complains and I tried to change things up, asked her what she likes and tried to do what she likes and to no avail. Now I understand that sexual intimacy goes away over time, but it still raises some questions, is it just that, or is there somethng else going on that I should know about? Is it really just my insecurity, or should I have something to be insecure about? I will admit my issues, I get jealous easy, I am a little possesive and protective of what I feel is mine, not that she is something to be owned, but that I am not going to let some guy step in and try to snatch her from me either. The majority of guys only think about one thing when they are friends with a female and that is how to get in their pants. I know that not all guys are like this, but from a guys point of view, most of us don't care if a female is married, engaged, single, it doesn't matter. Some of us still have morals and standards, but a female is less likely to cheat on a male than a male is, and i f a female does cheat, they try to be more careful about it, they typically stay away from married or engaged guys because it will turn into one of those things where if his wife or fiancee finds out then my husband or fiancee might find out too, especially if they all know each other, and females know that, sometimes us guys don't get that point. I have never been in a situation where I was cheating, but know this from an outside point of view. I have been cheated on, yes, that is where some of my insecurity comes from, but I also know guys that cheat and get caught, that cheat and don't, the majority of the time the men who cheat get caught and their typical response is someone told her. When I got cheated on I didn't even know until after we broke up in most situations, that is one of the reasons I am so wierded out about this situation, because when I think about my past relationships now I can see the signs, where I just ignored them before, and I see some of those now. It could just be me, I could just be paranoid, but then again the signs might be legitamate. When I call she doesn't answer her phone or takes an unusually long time to respond, something that might be a sign, or she could just be busy. Why do people cheat? You look at statistics and it is a major issue. Is it the medias fault because it is now socially acceptable to be non monogomous, or to be gay, or bi, or whatever you choose? Is it our fault because we are the generation x, because freedom of expression is the calling of this generation? What is the root of the problem? Is it society? Is it me? Is it her? What can do? What should I do? What is your opinion?

I am military. When I go oversees my wife cheats on me, then tells me how much better he is with my kids then I am. I want to have a threesome.

Posted elsewhere on the internets.

lol isuwen's the guy in the op

Women cheat, it's what they do. Duh.

I guess I am a Loser.

WALL OF ****ING TEXT

You say that a loser would be the only one to read the whole thing, and then like 100 people are acting like 4th graders and trying to defend themselves.