My ex who I've been trying to avoid (deleted her myspace, stopped answering phonecalls, etc) to get over may have cancer and to top it off her relationship is going through a rough patch. Accidentally answered a call and she was happy just to talk to me...apparently she's been wanting someone to talk to about everything.

And I feel like a real dick for trying to avoid her. I don't really have a point to this thread, and it killed the relatively good vibe I had earlier today. Now all I can think of is the first time I met and saw her, and the fact that I squandered a chance with her and blah blah, going through the motions yet again.

I just really don't know what to do in this situation though. Everytime I talk to her it brings back bad memories, but she was there for me in a particularly difficult time in my life and I feel like to do anything otherwise would be...well wrong. Karmically speaking.

I'm really starting to think life is ****.

is she going to die or not

Seems like something you'd see in a movie.

how old are you again?

I'm 19, and as outlandish as it seems, it's true. Really emo, really lame, but I just felt the need to post it. I put the e/n on there so people who don't care can skip it.

It wouldn't do any damage to try and patch things up with her. However, I don't think you have any reason to feel bad for giving her the cold shoulder.

Why not talk to her about those bad memories?

Because they involved her, lots of alcohol, and lots of really really stupid words said, along with massive amounts of depression brought on by ridiculous amounts of stress.

It was not a good situation, and I'd much rather forget it and everything that surrounded it.

You feel very grateful for people important to you in your life -- especially in the course of battling the disease -- even if there've been rifts or fights. It feels especially good if someone still cares deep down.

Well now you have a chance to make ammends. You've got nothing to lose by taking it.

Do a friend in need a favour and go see her/speak to her. It might hurt you emotionally but I'd guess her fear and hurting is pretty bad right now. Plus there's a chance you'll heal old wounds not aggravate them.

If I could I would definitely consider it. But she lives 2000 miles away, and I'm already struggling to make bills, much less make a thousand dollar trip to see her.

But thanks guys for the advice. It's been an interesting weekend all over, and I've been trying to drown my sorrows in distractions.

I wish I had an ex-girlfriend.

Feeling obligated to be there for her is just irrational. You split up with her for reasons beyond the strength of your relationship. Getting involved with her will only cause you to end up feeling resentful towards her and ultimately frustrated with yourself. You'll end up what-iffing yourself to death.

You have to be able to take care of yourself before you can even bother taking care of another person. It seems really harsh (given the circumstances), and maybe I'm a ******** for saying it, but you can't become an emotional crutch for a person you're still trying to get over.

So is she a drama queen and just faking the cancer for attention or what?

It's basically a growth that's wrapped around her heart and could be cancerous, but they won't know until they have it killed by destroying her thyroid gland. If it continues to spread/grow, then it's cancer.

as someone who has tried to stay friends with my ex's i know in my experiences that it never ends well. You may have the best of intentions, but you guys broke up for a reason that still obviously pains you. She's going through a hard time, a very hard time, but you need to take care of yourself too. Be nice, but definatly try to keep your distance at all costs.

Now I find out my aunt is terminally ill, and I might not see her before she dies, and my uncle might have cancer but refuses to go get the tests done.

awesome

I don't mean to be an *** but just because she may have cancer that doesn't automatically negate any past issues dealing with her or that are somehow related to her. You can try to be there for her but don't **** yourself up emotionally because you're pushing yourself past boundaries created by old situations. Maintaining whatever distance is bearable to you does NOT make you a bad person.

Is this week cancer week or something? ****. I just found out earlier this week that they found cancer in my grandpa's lungs during a routine checkup and yesterday during the biopsy they ended up chopping off the top third of his lung that had three malignant lumps.

It seems like it. :\

If I have cancer, I don't want to know.