For those of you who don’t know, I’m in a powered wheelchair, and I’m only 3’4” feet tall. While I can type, and function pretty well with my fingers, a lot of my knuckles don’t work, and I’ve got issues with grip, and my arms are quite short.
I’m an editor for a small filming company in my area “Kruse Line Productions.” We were down in some city just south of Minneapolis Minnesota (Quite a ways away from Duluth MN, where I live) shooting a musical performance. There’s a sound-room upstairs, overlooking the stage. I’m sitting there, setting up the editing equipment when a man, standing about 5’3”, a crown of hair resting over his bald head, his glasses shining in the low light, walks right in, and reached down to the camera-bag, and another bag with wires in it. These bags contained about 4,000 dollars of equipment, wires, and actual cash. He simply reached in, assuming the poor crippled boy wouldn’t really care. So, I questioned. “Hey, what the **** do you think you’re doing?” He looked over at me, sitting in the high-up director’s chair, my wheelchair just beside me.
“Just shut up, be a good boy and don’t tell anyone.” He thought he was going to steel these bags right in front of me. Wrong. I reached over, and grabbed one of his free hands, the one he went to grab one of the bags with. He already had a bag in the other hand. I was quite surprised he was able to lift the 50 pound bag, because this man was a stick. His arms were about broom-stick thickness, and his build consisted of a bundle of twigs with a flannel shirt pulled over it. I twisted his arm so he was forced to turn around.
“You’re not stealing anything.” I kicked with my short legs at the bag and he easily dropped it. I reached over and grabbed a telescopic tripod and slid it into my backpack.
“Let me go!” I was able to get into my chair, walk him out of the room, into the elevator, down 3 floors, into an office, all one handed. I only held his one arm, as he tried to elbow me with the other. Doing this caused him to hurt himself more than he hurt me. This man was seriously, the weakest burglar in the history of thieving. I called the police and explained to them that I’d apprehended a thief, and had caught him in the act of stealing. This was already about 15 minutes or so since he initially attempted to take the bags, and after I’d gotten off of the phone. He’s been trying to escape this entire time and yet, he can’t escape a cripple’s weak grip. I’m NOT confident in my strength, OR my grip. Yet he wasn’t able to harm me, or get away. I let him sit down, as I held his arm out next to him, twisted at an odd angle. He kept swearing, and laughing at how he’s caught.
“You’re the worst thief ever.” I laughed at him.
“Shut the **** up, Goddamn-” I twisted at his arm, which, no joke, caused him to literally whimper in pain. I promise you, I’m NOT a strong person, or a very skilled person in harming anyone else.
The cops came, and arrested him, questioned me about the incident, and then afterwards, all 3 of us had a good laugh. “I’ve been in the Police Force for 7 years,” said the older officer “I’ve never in that time, seen a person of your stature. Nor, in those 7 years, have I seen someone of your stature apprehend their assailant, and I’ve never seen, or heard of someone keeping their assailant captive for more than 15 minutes!” It had been about a half an hour by the time the cops got there. The man was arrested, and they’ll be calling me if they need anymore information, etc.
My team and I were talking about it later (They showed up when they saw the squad car pull in) and my friend said “Stupid n00b-lamer got ***** by the crippled-gimp midget! That’s pathetic.”
I have never had an experience so hilarious like this before. I can’t even win wrestling with my 9 year old cousin, let alone a full grown man. The funniest thing, was he was REALLY trying to get out the entire time. He kept twisting his hand, and pulling really hard. He even tried back-kicking me in the elevator and he ended up almost tripping, but the pain from me not letting go of his arm as he fell made him pull his leg back and catch his balance.
So 2 words of advice:
Don’t **** with the crippled-gimp midgets. They pwn.
If you’re going to steal something in broad daylight, right in front of someone else, carry a weapon, or… don’t be a p****-bi***. Christ, if a 3’4” crippled can hold you captive for a half an hour, you need to work out. I can just see, when he gets to jail:
Bubba “What are you in for?”
Wuss “I tried stealing 4000 dollars worth of stuff, and a 3 and a half foot tall crippled kid, from his wheelchair, held me captive with nothing but a telescopic pole in his backpack, and his hand.”
Bubba “I’m going to call you Marry... Or Sarah! You like that name? You’re muh new *****”
JediKirby
------------------
jEDIkIRBY - Putting the Romance back into Necromancer.
Proud Leader of the Minnessassian Council
Live on, Adam.
[This message has been edited by jEDIkIRBY (edited August 08, 2004).]
I’m an editor for a small filming company in my area “Kruse Line Productions.” We were down in some city just south of Minneapolis Minnesota (Quite a ways away from Duluth MN, where I live) shooting a musical performance. There’s a sound-room upstairs, overlooking the stage. I’m sitting there, setting up the editing equipment when a man, standing about 5’3”, a crown of hair resting over his bald head, his glasses shining in the low light, walks right in, and reached down to the camera-bag, and another bag with wires in it. These bags contained about 4,000 dollars of equipment, wires, and actual cash. He simply reached in, assuming the poor crippled boy wouldn’t really care. So, I questioned. “Hey, what the **** do you think you’re doing?” He looked over at me, sitting in the high-up director’s chair, my wheelchair just beside me.
“Just shut up, be a good boy and don’t tell anyone.” He thought he was going to steel these bags right in front of me. Wrong. I reached over, and grabbed one of his free hands, the one he went to grab one of the bags with. He already had a bag in the other hand. I was quite surprised he was able to lift the 50 pound bag, because this man was a stick. His arms were about broom-stick thickness, and his build consisted of a bundle of twigs with a flannel shirt pulled over it. I twisted his arm so he was forced to turn around.
“You’re not stealing anything.” I kicked with my short legs at the bag and he easily dropped it. I reached over and grabbed a telescopic tripod and slid it into my backpack.
“Let me go!” I was able to get into my chair, walk him out of the room, into the elevator, down 3 floors, into an office, all one handed. I only held his one arm, as he tried to elbow me with the other. Doing this caused him to hurt himself more than he hurt me. This man was seriously, the weakest burglar in the history of thieving. I called the police and explained to them that I’d apprehended a thief, and had caught him in the act of stealing. This was already about 15 minutes or so since he initially attempted to take the bags, and after I’d gotten off of the phone. He’s been trying to escape this entire time and yet, he can’t escape a cripple’s weak grip. I’m NOT confident in my strength, OR my grip. Yet he wasn’t able to harm me, or get away. I let him sit down, as I held his arm out next to him, twisted at an odd angle. He kept swearing, and laughing at how he’s caught.
“You’re the worst thief ever.” I laughed at him.
“Shut the **** up, Goddamn-” I twisted at his arm, which, no joke, caused him to literally whimper in pain. I promise you, I’m NOT a strong person, or a very skilled person in harming anyone else.
The cops came, and arrested him, questioned me about the incident, and then afterwards, all 3 of us had a good laugh. “I’ve been in the Police Force for 7 years,” said the older officer “I’ve never in that time, seen a person of your stature. Nor, in those 7 years, have I seen someone of your stature apprehend their assailant, and I’ve never seen, or heard of someone keeping their assailant captive for more than 15 minutes!” It had been about a half an hour by the time the cops got there. The man was arrested, and they’ll be calling me if they need anymore information, etc.
My team and I were talking about it later (They showed up when they saw the squad car pull in) and my friend said “Stupid n00b-lamer got ***** by the crippled-gimp midget! That’s pathetic.”
I have never had an experience so hilarious like this before. I can’t even win wrestling with my 9 year old cousin, let alone a full grown man. The funniest thing, was he was REALLY trying to get out the entire time. He kept twisting his hand, and pulling really hard. He even tried back-kicking me in the elevator and he ended up almost tripping, but the pain from me not letting go of his arm as he fell made him pull his leg back and catch his balance.
So 2 words of advice:
Don’t **** with the crippled-gimp midgets. They pwn.
If you’re going to steal something in broad daylight, right in front of someone else, carry a weapon, or… don’t be a p****-bi***. Christ, if a 3’4” crippled can hold you captive for a half an hour, you need to work out. I can just see, when he gets to jail:
Bubba “What are you in for?”
Wuss “I tried stealing 4000 dollars worth of stuff, and a 3 and a half foot tall crippled kid, from his wheelchair, held me captive with nothing but a telescopic pole in his backpack, and his hand.”
Bubba “I’m going to call you Marry... Or Sarah! You like that name? You’re muh new *****”
JediKirby
------------------
jEDIkIRBY - Putting the Romance back into Necromancer.
Proud Leader of the Minnessassian Council
Live on, Adam.
[This message has been edited by jEDIkIRBY (edited August 08, 2004).]
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