Here's a short, insignificant story for you to ponder or whatever. My father, a lawyer in NY, sometimes chat with other lawyers in his floor (it's not a firm, independents working in various fields of law). Anyway, one of the lawyers he converses with works with the courts as, in layman's terms, a defense attorney for those who can't afford one. So he sees and provides legal assistance in typical low-level crimes by the everyday John Doe criminals. Now recently, a certain case was given to him (by the courts) that he found quite relatively unusual, and one that he wanted to talk about because he found it both humorous and headache-inducing at the same time.


A man from New Jersey, of all the ****ing places, decided to follow through with a plan to trick the local banks and get some free cash out of it. I'm not sure he's the first one to think of this idea as it's quite simply not particularly a brilliant one that only masterminds concoct. Well, it was brilliant enough for him to risk himself in legal troubles. So in last May, he walks into a bank with a big box filled with coin rolls.

To clarify, what I mean by "coin rolls" is the circular paper wrappings often used to transport coins. Each type of roll is designed for a certain type of coin. They sell this stuff anywhere really for those who want to organize loose change, and they have been standardized somewhat to look easily readable. You know what I'm talking about. So this man's box is filled to the rim with Quarter rolls (40 Quarters per roll, $10 each), but the thing is, all these roll were devoid of currency. In other words, the man tries to "cash in" a huge bunch of Quarter rolls that aren't filled with quarters.

Now the man isn't completely retarded. He knows that if he tries to cash in a bunch of paper wrappings he won't get anywhere fast. So he realizes that what he needs to do is to make it look like these rolls are filled. So what does he do; he glues a (real) quarter to each end of the rolls.

[sub]quick sketch:[/sub]


Okay, now when the bank teller quickly glances at each of the rolls, it looks there is something "in" them. Next problem, he notices that, even with 2 quarters, the rolls are still light. Big issue as anyone with a brain can figure it out by just picking up the hollow wrappings.

He needed to fill it with stuff. So he covers the walls with glue of some sort. Then he packs the rolls with dirt and gravel. Now imagine some guy squatting in his backyard or local park trying to jam dirt and **** into Quarter rolls. Yeah. Satisfied with his resourcefulness, he creates alot of these faux-rolls and transport them to a local Chase (I think..) establishment.

Why a large quantity? The reasoning from him was that if he submitted only a few rolls, the bank teller would take the time to unwrap each one to count the coins. By bringing in the box full, the tellers, for the sake of keeping the line moving, would just count the amount of rolls, trust that these are filled with currency and just give him the cash. Much to the disappointment for this gentleman, it didn't go as planned. Apparently, the regular tellers can't spare the time to sort through a whole damn container of Quarter rolls so they refer him to a special person who can do that sort of thing at the other side of the bank.

At this point, one has to wonder why didn't the guy just say "f*** it!" and left when it was clear this is going to end as a big problem. Banks DO have machines to sort out and quantify large amounts of coins. So he walks up to this bank employee and states that we wants turn his "quarters" into cash. Then employee agrees, asks the man to wait in the lobby, and takes the box to the back of the bank. Next thing you know, bank security is alerted and the man gets caught. Evidently, the bank wasn't taking deposits of dirt that day. And the rest is history.

So yeah, that's the story.



tldr: one of the finest minds of our generation, defeated.

It would have been a lot more convincing if he'd filled the rolls with actual quarters. :downs:

Would have been a horrible pun, but you missed the chance at it.


PS, isn't it sorta unprofessional for one lawyer to share case details with another lawyer who tells someone else that posts about it on the internet?

He doesn't care because he has to deal with people like this day to day. That's what I assume.

I guess I'm just jealous because if I talk about maintenance practices, findings, or anything like that I can be fired.

(the pictures I post where covers are missing are alright, because it's not like other airlines don't do it more than we do)

What I find funny is that he still had to spend $.50 per roll. That couldn't have been cheap.

For 40 rolls, $20.

Which he should have spent on cleaning himself up and finding a job. Because thats how the super fair american system works, amirite?

I can fit 8 rolls of quarters in my hand pretty easily...

A modest-sized box would contain significantly more rolls than 40 I think.

I wouldn't really expect anyone to carry more than about 40 rolls of quarters though.

**** gets heavy quick.

He was 'smart' enough to devise a plan like that, but wasn't smart enough to think the BANK of all places would have a device like... oh i dunno, coinstar? to do thier counting for them?

Oh well, hope he enjoys jail.

It would have been a lot funnier if when he brought it into the bank he dropped the box and all this dirt went flying everywhere.

I was hoping this would be about James and Sirius.

see this plot would've been easy to do if he had only done:
one or two at a time
gone to a gas station instead - change is always handy for them
asked for a couple of tens for it

silly person