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ForumsDiscussion Forum → I know nothing about guys, so I need help
I know nothing about guys, so I need help
2004-08-11, 2:20 PM #1
hey all! I figured, where better to ask for advice on guys than a predominatley male discussion forum. I don't want to start any kind of flame war, but the subject is guys, not girls so hopefully we'll be safe.

The Scenario: me and this other counsellor were flirting all summer at camp. (ie "so are you going to visit me next fall" "i'll try" "no, the correct respinse is yes, I don't know when, but I will", and "you're sleeping beauty? what's her prince" "prince Phillip" "I'm prince phillip, I'm a man of action, I fight a dragon for my princess" and "sprry I missed teuaday, we'll have to accidentally bump into each other another time "well It doesn't have to be accidental" and "you'll have to party with me sometime, you could crash at my dorm...what? she could take the bed, I'd take the floor" and other stuff to that extent not to mention making me some excellent cookies.) he is a year older than me.
supposedly he thinks I'm sheltered (I suppose not drinking makes one sheltered...there no way he could know about the never been kissed thing, though I thought I overheard Marisa telling him...but probably not). Anyway, the last day of camp I get everyone's e-mails and sn. Oh, and also, when we all went out to eat the last day, he sat next to me.
Anyway, 2 days later, we talk online and part of the conversation goes something like this:
Him: so what did you do last night?
me: dinner and a movie
him:with who?
just some friends
a date?
me: nope, but it was all guys so I had to deal with a discussion on masterbation all through dinner
Him: that's not cool
not so much
we're going to have to hang out sometime
sure, just tell me when
okay, I will

and then we just talked about other random stuff. After that, I IMed ihm once and he IMed me once. but now...everytime I'm on or I initiate a conversation, he goes away (puts an away message up, but if he really weren't talking, his name would dim on my buddy list). it's happened quite a few times too.
by the way, I saw him at the mall today...he seemed happy to see me, but what do I know? anyway, I only had time for a few words because I was late for a movie.
Do you think he's avioding me or am I just reading too much into everything? should I just forget about him (I mean, I want to go out with him, but it's not like my world will cease to exist if I don't or anything) beecause that's what I'm pretty much close to doing...I mean seriously, I have enough crap to deal with without trying to figure out a guy.
and page, please don't respond. no disreapect meant, but he's not anything like you as far as relationships go, or if he is, he's not worth my time.

thankyou guys! oh and thanks in advance for not calling me a freaky loser for being so...err... well whatever thanks!

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Men and their wars!... I think that men raise flags when they can't get anything else up!
~from Pippin
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2004-08-11, 2:24 PM #2
I reckon you can do better. Wait for a bloke that gives you a wee bit more respect.

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If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.
2004-08-11, 2:26 PM #3
Well, its my opinion that if a guy ignores you, then try other prospects. Or you could be reading too much into stuff. But if I say something along those lines, I usually mean them. But I dunno. My fiancee describes me as overly nice to females. Catch me on MSN or e-mail me and maybe I could help you better. And, nice to see you back, Sugarless [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

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Prowling out of the tundra, swinging a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Outlaw Torn! And he gives a gutteral bellow:

"I'm seriously going to hump you until you scream like a banshee!"
obviously you've never been able to harness the power of cleavage...

maeve
2004-08-11, 2:31 PM #4
thanks torn [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif] nice to see you too!

I was thinking I need someone who respects me a little more too, bt i can't help thinking I'm reading too much into everything
especially since he just IMed me [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

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Men and their wars!... I think that men raise flags when they can't get anything else up!
~from Pippin
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2004-08-11, 3:19 PM #5
IMO, you reading too much into it. He might be a little shy/nervous if he likes you a lot, but from the other stuff you said it doesn't sound like it.

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<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart.
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2004-08-11, 3:26 PM #6
This has nothing to do whatever respect he has for you.

You should move on(doesn't necessarily mean you stop talking to him as a friend) because he either A) isn't interested in you anymore(if he ever was) or B) he doesn't have the cajones to ask you out and take this further. However, considering how you have described him, B probably isn't the case.

Also, wtf are you doing cheating on me? [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

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Debating politics on the internet is about as useful and productive as shoving a broomstick up your *** .

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited August 11, 2004).]
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-08-11, 3:26 PM #7
It's a bit hard to say as there isn't a lot of info to work with, but I'd have to agree with Martyn. He only seems as though he is treating you as a "friend of convenience". I.e. when it suits him and him alone. Disrepect and rudeness is unacceptable. Look elsewhere.

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Run: forgetting passwords on a regular basis.
Run: forgetting passwords on a regular basis.
2004-08-11, 3:27 PM #8
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Martyn:
I reckon you can do better. Wait for a bloke that gives you a wee bit more respect.

</font>



Amen, chap.

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deviantART gallery.
2004-08-11, 3:27 PM #9
Double posting brilliance

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Run: forgetting passwords on a regular basis.

[This message has been edited by Fade (edited August 11, 2004).]
Run: forgetting passwords on a regular basis.
2004-08-11, 3:44 PM #10
You could be reading a bit much into it I guess (hard to tell just from that), but even so it doesn't sound like he's being that respectful anyway.

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Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian 1, 2 & 3 | Gonk WoW Petition <- SIGN!
Corrupting the kiddies since '97
2004-08-11, 3:47 PM #11
[edit: nm]

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited August 11, 2004).]
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-08-11, 3:53 PM #12
Just talk to him. There's no way to know.

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2004-08-11, 5:35 PM #13
thanks guys! he could afford not to be nervous at camp because he was the only guy there. he's actually been really sweet to me aside from the whole ignoring thing (trust me, I wouldn't even bother with a guy who doesn't show some respect), which may not even be the case, I tihnk I'm reading a little too far into it (now that i have nothing to do during the days, 1 day feels like 3...but come to think of it, it may have been only 1 or 2 days I didn't hear from him, i can't keep track anymore.)

the last thing I'm willing to do for a guy is to make excuses for him, trust me, but he really has been sweet to me and I can understand being busy, god knows, i know how that feels

whatever. either way, I'll either just ask him out myself or not even bother

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Men and their wars!... I think that men raise flags when they can't get anything else up!
~from Pippin
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2004-08-11, 6:01 PM #14
It looks to me that you're reading a bit much into him going away.
Maybe you were just catching him at bad times? Was it near dinner time? I think you should give him a bit more time. He could be shy, or busy.

But if he keeps ignoring you, leave a message in the MBS mailbox and we'll uh... 'take care of the problem.'

If you catch my drift...

<.<

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This is Dr. Luuve (aka happydud)... signing off
This is Dr. Luuve (aka happydud)... signing off
2004-08-11, 6:06 PM #15
Hate to say it, but, as brotherly as all us guys are, we don't know the guy. We can't give you any real pointers - different strokes for different folks.

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<A HREF="http://www.dreamtheater.net/disco_dreamtheater.php?s=sfam" TARGET=_blank> "Our deeds have traveled far,
What we have been is what we are."</A>
"Well ain't that a merry jelly." - FastGamerr

"You can actually see the waves of me not caring in the air." - fishstickz
2004-08-11, 6:11 PM #16
Wait. When did Massassi have a Dr. Luuve??

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)

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2004-08-11, 6:13 PM #17
*bites back masturbation joke*

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Debating politics on the internet is about as useful and productive as shoving a broomstick up your *** .

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited August 11, 2004).]
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-08-11, 6:15 PM #18
Go ahead, I don't think you'll be banned for it [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif] Afterall, there was that pr0n thread about the lousy movie not too long ago.

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When guitars are outlawed, only outlaws will have guitars.

[This message has been edited by MaD CoW (edited August 11, 2004).]
2004-08-11, 6:16 PM #19
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Echoman:
Wait. When did Massassi have a Dr. Luuve??

</font>


<.<
>.>
<.<

Since whenever the registration date was. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif]

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[16:38] Correction: dick tracy was a real man
[16:38] happydud: Actually... He wasn't. :D
[19:08] Dormouse: hi, my name's happydud and i'm passive-aggress.. SHUTUP!! *stabs nearby orphan*
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2004-08-11, 6:16 PM #20
Just tell him how you feel... say you wanna go out sometime.... that's the easiest thing. If he says no what have you lost? If he's not interested now, chances are he won't be in 6 months. So save yourself the trouble and get it out of the way now.

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I figure that one day I'll either be famous, or in prison. But I guess if I'm going to prison, I should probably try to do something that would make me famous anyway.
>>untie shoes
2004-08-12, 5:35 AM #21
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bill:
Just tell him how you feel... say you wanna go out sometime.... that's the easiest thing. If he says no what have you lost? If he's not interested now, chances are he won't be in 6 months. So save yourself the trouble and get it out of the way now.

</font>




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/fluffle
/fluffle
2004-08-12, 5:51 AM #22
About the away thing...

One of my friends did that to me.. I talked to him about it and he said it's because sometimes he forgets to log out while someone else is using the computer. So when I say hi he'd just logged off.. or set the status to away. Except it wasn't him.. it was a member of his family.
So there could be a simple explanation like that [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

I don't think you should forget about him because of something that small, You like him and from the sounds of it he likes you too. I'd just ask him about it.

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WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUT!
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2004-08-12, 6:36 AM #23
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kieran Horn:
he doesn't have the cajones to ask you out and take this further</font>


Sounds like that to me. Some guys, myself included (sans alcohol), are really petrified of rejection.

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2004-08-12, 6:43 AM #24
Ok, well clearly what you need to do is bow down to the ancient power that lives deep within every man, waiting to be tapped into. That's why God made women; so that mighty man-kings would have something to drag back to their caves.

....oh, wait, you DIDN'T want a Page response.

Seriously, he sounds like he's just jerking you around. It may not be intentionally to hurt you, though. Some guys (and girls too) have the annoying habit of what they call "harmless flirting" in which they flirt with a great deal of people, including many that they aren't actually interested in being involved with. The defense is often that "Well, s/he knows that it's just harmless flirting, so what's wrong with it?" and in cases where the other person DOES know, then yeah, there's no real problem. Unfortunately, often times the other person makes the mistake of taking someone's actions at face value, and ends up getting hurt.

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I live in the weak, and the wounded.
I live in the weak, and the wounded.
2004-08-12, 6:47 AM #25
Personally I think you're reading a little to much into it...

It is from my experience with AIM that if you are 'away,' as soon as you send a message it takes you out of the 'away' status...

From the way you described it I assume you were talking to him on AIM? If not, it's possible it's the same way with MSN's or Yahoo!'s messenger... but I don't know off hand.

If it is AIM I could think of a few other things he'd be better off doing instead of just going 'away' if he didn't want to talk to you, but wanted to continue talking to everyone else.

It's your heart, you've got to decide what you want to do, but I say, as has been said, to just tell him your feelings, and hope for the best, if he says he doesn't like you in the same way at least you won't be wondering what could've been, and you might find he wants to remain friends, so you won't lose him as a friend if you decide to just stop talking to him.

Or you could find out he feels the same for you, and you could end up together.

Either way it beats keeping it inside.

But before you do that I say you should try IMing him a few more times, see if this continues, but I'm not quite sure what kind of time span, or how many attempts were made to have an IM convo with him.

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AIM ID: BlueViper192
E-Mail: FCTuner04--//[at]\\--gmail--//[dot]\\--com

RiP -MaDaVentor-
The Limelite

[This message has been edited by FCTuner04 (edited August 12, 2004).]
2004-08-12, 7:20 AM #26
Kieran pretty much already said what I was going to say.



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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.
2004-08-12, 8:22 AM #27
Is the guy at least hot? I don't mean that "oh he's so cute when he acts like a ****ing ****" ****, I mean, when you first saw him, did he strike you as the most beautiful piece of meat you've ever seen? Or is this one of those things where you just noticed him 'cause he talked to you? And for God's sake, I'm sick of girls falling for older guys just 'cause they are older. That's not an actual criterion for anything. Sl**s.

[This message has been edited by Master Tonberry (edited August 12, 2004).]
"When it's time for this planet to die, you'll understand that you know absolutely nothing." — Bugenhagen
2004-08-12, 8:29 AM #28
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Master Tonberry:
And for God's sake, I'm sick of girls falling for older guys just 'cause they are older. That's not an actual criterion for anything. Sl**s.

[This message has been edited by Master Tonberry (edited August 12, 2004).]
</font>


amen!



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The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
2004-08-12, 9:38 AM #29
Yeah but once you fit the description of "older" you'll be glad younger girls are so shallow. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

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I figure that one day I'll either be famous, or in prison. But I guess if I'm going to prison, I should probably try to do something that would make me famous anyway.
>>untie shoes
2004-08-12, 10:29 AM #30
i skimmed through some of the advice the guys gave you (not all of it sorry) but i dont know if this has been said. but maybe when you told him you were out with guys only at the movie he might have taken it as a hit. it makes intimidating to ask a girl out or talk to her when shes got a gang of guy friends..i dont know.. i know if i liked a guy n then he told me he went to the movies with a group of girls the other night id prolly belike hurt n kinda give up momentarily.. but if its only been 2-3 days that this as happened then maybe it aint as serious

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2004-08-12, 11:23 AM #31
Nobody knows this guy, so we really can't give a GOOD answer. Just guesstimates

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D E A T H
2004-08-12, 1:55 PM #32
The only way to find out for sure is for you to ask him out. That will answer your questions.

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Debating politics on the internet is about as useful and productive as shoving a broomstick up your *** .
Democracy: rule by the stupid
2004-08-12, 6:02 PM #33
I think Wolvie might have something there. It sure seems to be the way me and my friends work
2004-08-12, 6:07 PM #34
telephone?

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Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2004-08-12, 6:08 PM #35
telephone?

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IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

Employees dying on the job are faling to fall down. THIS PRACTICE MUST STOP as it becmes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of he staf.

Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll.
Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2004-08-12, 6:32 PM #36
1) Does he know that / if you're interested?

2) Is he interested?
2b. Is he interested only because you're interested?


Find the answer to all three, and it'll be easier to deal with.

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Occassional dropper-inner. Following the rhythm, drunk by the music.
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