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ForumsDiscussion Forum → PSA: Woot-Off begins at midnight tonight (CST)
PSA: Woot-Off begins at midnight tonight (CST)
2008-10-21, 3:14 PM #1
This was worth posting just for the email.

(I'm not a Woot employee; this email was sent out to members)
[quote=Woot email]Attention Woot employees -

We are now entering the final phase of preparations for the Woot-Off planned for midnight tonight. This is when we depart from our usual deal-a-day model and sell one product after another, offering a new deal as soon as the previous one sells out. For some reason, Woot members like Pommy continue to have high expectations for this event. We must make every effort to ensure that they feel disappointed and betrayed.

All workers should be physically and mentally straining to make this Woot-Off a success, like every muscle in a wolf's body strains to capture and devour its prey. We expect total compliance with the following objectives:
  • Make sure the stables are thoroughly cleaned and the horses properly groomed and shod. As you know, Commander Rutledge prefers to lead us on horseback during Woot-Offs. Charge!
  • Customer Service department: all vacation requests for this week and next are approved. If you have not filed a vacation request, take one anyway.
  • The little green pills in the kitchen are there to keep you alert and working. Take as many as you need. Officially, Woot does not believe in the concept of "overdose".
  • Take at least one of our servers offline, just for laughs.
  • Go to the landfill and dig up some more Sansa media players. If you see any Digipro Graphics Tablets (and you will), grab those, too.
  • Place crap bags in company latrines so those orders can be "filled". To this end, the company will provide free lunch today from El Feo, the filthiest burrito joint in Dallas. Do your worst, guys.
  • Neutralize all negative thinking among our members. We simply cannot tolerate any more posts like "do not want" or "Woot-Off killer". If electronic means like word filters and IP bans do not work, we must reactivate the rapid-response teams to physically eliminate all threats to our reputation.
  • Last time, spot checks revealed that approximately 25% of products shipped are broken, incomplete, or excessively dirty. This is unacceptable. For this Woot-Off, defective shipments must make up at least 40%.
  • Remind SmartPost that there's no need to hurry on these orders. Prompt delivery makes our customers spoiled and argumentative. Let them learn humility and gratitude while they wait.

Above all, we must strive to make this Woot-Off even more tedious, disappointing, and lucrative than the last one. The employee who achieves the most toward this end will be rewarded with one brown Zune. Second place: two brown Zunes.

Forward into battle! Remember: to give one's life for Woot is glorious!

Larry Stalin
eCommerce eKommissar
Woot, Inc.

THIS EMAIL WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 90 SECONDS[/quote]
一个大西瓜
2008-10-21, 3:16 PM #2
too bad i'm broke
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2008-10-21, 4:38 PM #3
Wow...I'm actually not working! Too bad I have to sleep sometime. .(
woot!
2008-10-21, 10:07 PM #4
WOOT.

going quick so far... not a lot of the first 3.
2008-10-21, 10:57 PM #5
That stripper pole was ridiculous.
一个大西瓜
2008-10-21, 11:01 PM #6
no one ever remembers to link the damn site for these threads
[url]www.woot.com[/url]
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2008-10-21, 11:10 PM #7
Stripper pole? Aww I missed it lol.
2008-10-21, 11:18 PM #8
UGH I wanted that hard drive but it sold out as I was logging in. :(
2008-10-22, 12:12 AM #9
Previous discussions about that drive on woot have yielded many reports of its unreliability and several DOAs. I would stay away from it.

Anyways, USB Stripper pole:

[http://s3.amazonaws.com/wootsaleimages/Candi,_The_USB_Pole_Dancer8z1Detail.jpg]
一个大西瓜
2008-10-23, 12:52 PM #10
BOC RIGHT NOW NOT SOLD OUT YET

OMG I THINK I GOT ONE
YESSSs
一个大西瓜
2008-10-23, 1:04 PM #11
I couldn't get in .. server too busy.
I clicked Buy One Now with the bar 90% full .. but never got through.
2008-10-23, 1:04 PM #12
I couldn't even get to the ordering screen. I got the "server too busy" error. .(
woot!
2008-10-23, 1:14 PM #13
i got to the very last part but the server was too busy and gave me a big "screw you"
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2008-10-23, 1:16 PM #14
Anyone here gotten BOCs before? Get anything good?
2008-10-23, 1:25 PM #15
Well that was infurating.

I got through everything, got to the "Your order is processing..." page ... then for some ****ing reason it got DENIED ("Your order is NOT in ... Order denied"). Can't imagine why, since all my info was definitely correct as I'd just bought something earlier. Wtf.:suicide:
一个大西瓜
2008-10-23, 1:39 PM #16
no crap for you
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2008-10-23, 1:45 PM #17
.(:smith::(
一个大西瓜
2008-10-23, 1:46 PM #18
Someday a renegade woot employee is going to poop in a bag...
2008-10-23, 5:58 PM #19
Woot-off is over. Screaming monkeys are up and still in stock if anyone wants them... I was in for three :awesome:
一个大西瓜
2008-10-23, 6:12 PM #20
YES!
I've been looking for one of these for a while!
One of my friends had one and banned me from touching it because I flung it against walls constantly for like 2 hours.
2008-10-23, 7:16 PM #21
I got this same email like 8 hours after the woot off started, and after I read this thread.
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"

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