I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I handed over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse, since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw your wallet in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants; I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

why didn't he kill him?

would he have been well within his rights?

being threatened by a thief

State law varies. NH law permits the use of deadly force to prevent the imminent unlawful use of deadly force upon oneself or a third party. Knife = deadly force, so he should be ok. Doesn't mean he wouldn't get sued anyway, though.

I believe this is fake.

I believe this is fake.

What if it's an illegal immigrant? Surely then you should be able to blow them away with reckless abandon. In fact, I couldn't think of a reason why it wouldn't be permissible to shoot them without provocation.

What if it's an illegal immigrant? Surely then you should be able to blow them away with reckless abandon. In fact, I couldn't think of a reason why it wouldn't be permissible to shoot them without provocation.

Because there are lawyers that will still sue on their behalf and the actual citizens get ****ed in the process.

What if it's an illegal immigrant? Surely then you should be able to blow them away with reckless abandon. In fact, I couldn't think of a reason why it wouldn't be permissible to shoot them without provocation.

lawyers who do that should be shot... "he was trying to rob me"

This story is fake.

u r stupid

Stop it. Just stop it now. This was a good thread. And you all ruined it. I hope you're happy with yourselves.

didn't something like this happen outside a court where the guy narrowly dodged the bullets behind a narrow tree?

cant remember the link

It's technically still legal to shoot a Welshman after dark in York.

But not on Sundays.

It's technically still legal to shoot a Welshman after dark in York.

But not on Sundays.

if i'm not mistaken it's only legal with a crossbow

As someone who recently got the first A of his law school career (in criminal law), I would advise everyone not to do any of the things described in this story.

And it's scotsmen, but that's not the point! There's a potential massassian who goes to pubs i go to!