Guy passing this around on the E train.

that's pretty sad

How much did you help?

probably not as much as he could

at least he's spreading the word!

I didn't see YOU helping.

Actually, since reading this, I have contact Tommy and given him a 2,400 dollar endowment for the continuation of his James Brown impersonation project. You should see handbills up for his May 17th performance any day now.

Put more effort in helping people, Mr. Simms or not, next time.

!!!

Hahaha. There are guys on the S that think they're R&B stars. They sing about the girls on the train... in a very specific manner. Not like "The girl with the pretty eyes"... More like "The girl with the Nike shoes that have a piece of gum on the side"

They also told me (through song) I should propose to the girl I was sitting next to who was a friend of mine. I laughed as the entire train continued to try and ignore them. Shortly after, the taller man wearing a track suit got down on one knee and said "Don't worry man, we'll do the talking for you." He then turned to my friend and said "Baby, this is what that guys thinkin, but cant find the words to say to you."

He then continued his poorly worded song which went something like "Baby! With the kind of red shirt! baby giiiIIiIIiRRrrRL youre soo.... BEAUTIFULLLllLlLL with that head BAnndnnndnd" (The other guy was in the background echoing some of these words for added emphasis) "Baby! Ive got to telll YOUuUUU somethinnnnNNNN! I've got this RIINNnggg---"

This is where I jumped up and went "OH GOD NO DONT DO THAT YOULL RUIN THE SURPRISE!"

The man in the track suit continued with "Oh Babbyyy! He wants to get on one kneeeee and propose to youu!!!"

My jaw hit the floor and I said "what! no! you've ruined it! I was going to do that tomorrow but you RUINED IT."

The businessmen on the train were laughing, and the R&B stars slowly backed away possibly concerned they just ruined my life... It's more likely that they were just moving to another train to try to get money out of someone else.

I do a pretty good James Brown imitation every time I go to sleep.

The E is wonderful because, once it leaves Manhattan, it just a long ride with few stops in between. Strange people and prophets get on because thy know they have a "captive audience."

Oh and Baconfish, you aren't black enough to be a James Brown imitator. Leave it to the pros.

nice story mb. too bad its fake. everyone knows youre too fat to fit in a train.

I'm not black enough, but you completely skip over me making fun of a dead guy?

James Brown isn't dead. His spirit lives on.

Same thing with the 1 train that starts up by Manhattan College...

I made the mistake of taking the local all the way to 59th street. There was a scary lady staring at me for about 30 minutes

See, when you go outside, you run into all sorts of intersting people mb.

you gonna take that mb

she's not being mean. it's just a simple statement of fact.

That note's more grammatical than your average bum would hand out. I'd give him a buck for that alone.

How does something become "more grammatical"?

Well, obviously the most rigorously correct way to put that would be "more grammatically correct," but I'd have thought you'd recognize artistic license when you saw it.

You are clearly not here to help Mr. Simms, are you.

Well, no, but there's really nothing I can do. I already have a full staff of James Brown imitators.