Come on now. And please no "10 / 100 things about X" posts copied off the net since they're not funny, and nobody reads them anyway.

- - -

Jones (a civilian) was assigned to a military centre where he would speak to recruits about different government obligations, especially military life insurance (MLI). Soon after that, the Lieutenant noticed that the MLI insurance package sale ratio is almost at 100%. This never happened before, so curious, the Lieutenant decided to listen to one of Jone's lectures.

Jones: If you have MLI and you went into a firefight and died, the government has to pay your family $200,000. If you don't have MLI, the government only pays $6,000. Now, who do you think they will send in first?

What's enjoyable for 9 out of 10 people?

Gang rape

A hydrogen ion walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I've lost my electron!"

The bartender says to him, "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre.

LOL.

What's the best part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.


What does Kurt Cobain take for a headache?
Two shotgun shells.


What's the worst thing about ****ing a 12 year old?
Cleaning the blood of your clown costume.

O.o

See I thought "the jokes I know will get me banned" so I won't post.

Then I see ^^^^ stuff.

Hmmmmm....

Second thoughts, I'm going to go with my first instincts.

What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?

At least Phelps can finish a race

oooooooooooooohohohoho

A shocking survey has revealed that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.

There used to be somewhere in the region of 40 dwarves.

Until Hungry died.

I don't get it

Yeah neither do I, if hungry died there would still be 40 dwarves. Unless the joke is that hungry is fat.

Hungry ate the other 32 dwarves then died of fatness.

yeah you should have set that joke up differently. reworded it or something.

How do you get a clown off a carousel?
You take an axe to his face!

Weird. Nobody I've told it to face to face had failed to get it. Maybe it's carried in the tone of voice.

Fixed.

...riiight