Sammy Tuberfunk is sitting at his desk at work, there are two hours left before home time and there's an annoying whirring sound that keeps distracting him. His boss is hidden behind his dual 30 inch Apple Cinema Display, presumably doing some sort of serious business. Inexplicably Sammy has forgotten his boss' name, yet his is certain that the right combination of actions will reveal this to him. What he is not sure about is how knowing this would even help his current situation.

Sammy's Choices:
[Tuberfunk Slide] Try to escape the office without being noticed, this has never worked before.
[Eyeballotron] Cast your iron gaze upon your boss and attempt to remember his name, for some reason.
[Aural Triangulation] Use your augmented powers of hearing to try and triangulate the source of the annoying whirring sound.

(PS: Replies are either a choice of action, or an outcome of the choice + new choices, you're not allowed to post both consecutively)

Aural Triangulation.

Sammy closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries to focus onto triangulating the sound. Unfortunately, Sammy is a bit of a comic book enthusiast and a daydreamer, as well as being a little bit slow in general, and often blurs his life together with fiction. He doesn't have any Aural Triangulation abilities. Instead, he sits with eyes closed, listening to the constant whirrrrrrr, trying to triangulate to no effect. He soon falls asleep.

"Tuberfunk! Did you hear me?" Sammy awakes with a start to find his boss leaning over his desk, with an unhappy look on his face.

Sammy's Choices:
[Affirmative Action] Pretend you were performing a religious rite, then argue about your freedom to do such at work.
[Liquid Fear] Get overtaken by panic, and wet yourself out of fright. This will throw off your boss, allowing time to escape.
[Decepticon] Claim your hearing aid battery has died, and turn your "good" ear toward your boss.

Interactive Story Board, anyone?

Decepticon.

Sammy turns to his boss. "Sir, you know since my days as Megadeath's tour manager, my ears have been less than perfect, the aid's battery must have died"

"Change your clocks, change your batteries! It's one of the only things those jews ever got right for us"

Sammy's boss's racism and ignorance had always gotten to him, but the money was good and the rest of the employees were alright. He figured it was just part of life.

Sammy's battery wasn't dead. It's short legs were slowly moving across the hall, trying to escape it's imposed torment under by laws of the Decepticons.

[Perception] Sammy, unknowing of the Decepticon's true form, sees a moving hearing aid and instinctively crushes it.
[Alien Knowledge] Having dealt with Autobots and Decepticons before, Sammy picks up the bot and debates what to do with it
[Optimus Prime] Optimus Prime jumps through the wall, bent on destruction.

What's Megadeath? (Ignore post if misspelling was intentional)

[Initiative Save] Wake up from your dream within a dream, obviously real Decepticons have better things to do than dealing with the likes of you!

SAMMY TUBERFUNK HAS NOW REACHED LEVEL 2

Sammy was pretty close to being stuck in the Transformers universe forever, it was only his powers of INCREDIBLE LOGIC that allowed him to escape. Unfortunately his logic bar is now empty.

SAMMY LEARNS A NEW SKILL

Aural Triangulation has been learned, you can now use this ability to locate the origin of annoying sounds.

Aw, wtf. What's the point of an interactive story if you're just going to ruin it after it doesn't go the way you like.

Good thing it's not an interactive story because then it'd be on the ISB.

It's a game, in the style of MS Paint Adventures, and whilst there is plenty of scope for giant robots it would be nice if we could get past the first few actions before going completely nuts. You know, internal story consistency and all that.