I have this new job at a distribution center that allows the employees to bring in an mp3 player, however they only let you plug one ear at a time.

I don't want to listen to half of a song.

I found these http://www.scansound.com/single-stereo-earbud.htm they are pretty cheap, but I'm sure there is a ridiculously easy way to dyi.

I'm also looking for a new mp3 player. I need something that is at least static resistant. All those wurring machines and such make things really staticy, I probably shock myself every 10 minutes.

Here's a decent discussion regarding just that.
http://www.macintouch.com/readerreports/audio/topic2091.html

And here's what I hear will do the trick.
http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2102690

since you're looking for a new player try o find one that can be set to downmix stereo to mono

any player with rockbox on it can (i just checked) and i'm sure some players have the option in the stock firmware

What all does rockbox work on?

I pretty much won't buy an ipod because they're not sturdy enough.

I'm also thinking about curbing static discharges by wearing one of those bracelets, or replacing the armbands on the arm holster with them. Though I've read that most of the time they get in through the earbud or wire connection.

http://www.rockbox.org/ everything it works on is listed here

90% of the time I listen to my iPod it is with only one ear bud.

Actually, I have a pair I just cut one side off.

It's not really a pair anymore then...