Hello ladies and gentlemen, and everyone else! http://www.instantrimshot.com

I never knew firing a gun was so much fun. I shot someone the other day, and it was a blast! http://www.instantrimshot.com

I helped an old lady cross the street. She was really tall so it worked out. http://www.instantrimshot.com

Did you guys hear about Michael Bay getting arrested? They caught him making a bomb. http://www.instantrimshot.com

What's the deal with guys and threesomes? A hundred bucks, that's my final offer. http://www.instantrimshot.com

Did you hear about Poland? Their politics really came crashing down. http://www.instantrimshot.com

My heart tells me that I'm hearing things. http://www.instantrimshot.com

I'm a sobriety addict. I can't help but lay off the drugs every now and then. http://www.instantrimshot.com

I left my heart in New York City. I knew I forgot something! http://www.instantrimshot.com

I wouldn't do it for all the tea in China! I prefer Ceylon. http://www.instantrimshot.com

I swear, your honor, I thought he was an altar boy! http://www.instantrimshot.com

How many climate change researchers does it take to switch a light bulb? We're all gonna die! http://www.instantrimshot.com

Send a child to do a man's job...you're with Nike, aren't you? http://www.instantrimshot.com

I excel at spelling bees. Bees bees bees bees bees. See? http://www.instantrimshot.com


Thanks for staying, stay safe!

Ahahaha... Those rimshots saved your ass dude.. Without them: total fiasco

aww man!

http://instantsfun.es/ this one is my favourite though

except... thats not a rimshot >.>

You're thinking of a rim job dude.

Brb, asking my mommy what that is

I have definitely used this in class before.

http://instantbillymays.com/
http://instanttrap.com/
http://instantboss.org/

is there an entire list of these somewhere?

i keep reading this thread as instantimsoshort

you know, when i was 18-19 and hanging around an artist's forum, i was stupid enough to worry about whether i should capitalize letters or not to look artsy enough. bloody kindengarten.

on wayback machine, found an artsyi thingiemajing (w/ a photo of my 50 cube yamaha) that i did when i was around 18. i called it "Working Title" because i was too dumb to think of anything else. i will regret this.

here's the intro:

June 20th.:.The lit cigarette, the bright yellow fire at the tip, nicotine sucked into the skin between his fingers. It's a Working Title.

But nevermind, I can't find that in the archives (and don't have a copy myself, obviously). But! I found another artsy thingie-majing that i did when i was 18...

jesus.

called bond1s (me writing crap, 6 years ago*)

http://drkoobie.deviantart.com/art/bond-1s-8232938

*i think i improved slightly since then...

MY LORD. WTF.

http://drkoobie.deviantart.com/art/Word-Pack-1-22700523

DrKoobie’s Word Pack #1 | Installment #3.
Original Title: “Unchained” (2005)

She hates it here.

The disturbing colors of smell, the world shaping in and out of focus. She’s walking down the road, the night city towering above her, boots against concrete, a cigarette between her lips. Her perfect lips, lips that almost never smile.

The road makes a turn, becomes a street, a street becomes a city. A biomechanical structure nursing the filth of the night, stone and metal fused into a being that lives but does not think, a murderous being that sculptures itself after the shattered souls of its victim. Prostitutes, beggars, junkies, the beating, bleeding heart of a beast we all helped create – our very essence, the essence of destruction.

She walks on.

She lights a smoke.

In her mind, her beautiful mind, snowflakes dance and she’s dancing with them, naked in the snow, the cold bringing life to her hips, her motion burning through the setting sun. In her mind, we all deserve the orgasmic sensation of simple beauty, in her mind, the demon-possessed city of filth does not exist, it’s out of focus, a bad dream, a hallucination, something we’ll laugh about when we’re dancing in the snow, our fingertips gently pressed against each others. In her mind, her beautiful mind, we’re all smiling.

She hates it here.

(i think i wrote 30 to 50 of those. :))

holy crap, 58!

holy crap, now i want a thread of my own dammit.

this one i even remember being rather fond of:

Alive (8/20/04)
prose: Max Salnikov
verse: Rebecca Parker

The sorcerery of falling snow, paint the streets in color white. A flat like all other flats, frost patterns on the glass. An ashtray on the window cill, half a pack of smokes to go. She's a girl who's now a woman, her naked fragile frame the desire you never knew. It's been hours, minutes, seconds, blowing smoke through gritted teeth.

Snoring in her bedroom, her husband watching dreams.

It's an ordinary night in the life of me. In the life of you. The woman in her flat, an excuse for being happy. Work comes in the morning, and these precious minutes are escape. A cigarette in hand, she thinks in terms of fantasy.

your biology
is flimsy
scattered
between skin
and ****ing
in the snow.
you're a rough
draft woman.
roughed up
and around the
eye sockets.
bruise and other
colors changing
according to how
long the sun stains
your skin today.

She turns away from the window, snowflakes a background to her face. Too much perfection. Red hot blood pulsing in her veins, the visions of brighter nights to come imprinted in her mind.

Dream. Stay young.

It's the secret of being alive.

(deleted)

Opinions? I think I write much more "mainstream" (if SF/F can be considered that) fiction now compared to what I used to. Now I even have actual characters and sometimes - you better believe it - some sort of a resemblance of a plot!

I don't understand how we got from the original thread subject to here...

The original post ended up a massive failure, so I'm only glad Koobie is taking the thread to new heights! It was never meant to focus on instantrimshot, either. I would have just mp3 tagged the sound had I not been too lazy to google for it.

Indeed. More than happy to post very very old and very very bad shelved forever fiction, let me know which one you'd want me to post (if any). Selection's available from the screenshot. Some of them don't even try to make sense.

I guess I'll take that as a "thanks, but no thanks."

CHILDREN OF DECADENCE pleeeeeeeeeease

Ok, I've read it (I only vaguely remember the contents of each), and this is a really embarrassing one.

I was 17...



/INSERT EDIT

WARNING / CAUTION: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE (ALSO, IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED OR ARE PREGNANT)

thx.

/END EDIT

Children of Decadence
by Max Salnikov, 2004.

Listen. The sound of tearing flesh. The scent of cum and sweat, his body wrapped in chains. A nail through each palm, left eyelash cut clean off. A naked man inside, gnawing on my ribs. The renegade within, pupils blown with life. Two little circles of pure black. One wrong step and he's going to bite my chest open, crawl out, destroy your worlds. The pianist of my soul.

Don't smile. Don't you ****ing smile.

You've got an angel too.

It's not what we say. It's not even what we do. It's what we feel, always. A part of us is in love with the hellfire of destruction, it's just that we keep our little mutilated angels deep, deep, deep inside our guts. That's why we, as a race, are who we are. A person can keep the hate inside. A people can't.

Dicks erect, they're born to ****. To **** us from the inside out.

You know something?

Angels kill.

Woah, that is some very unhealthy ****. Pick another.

Ok, here's a more optimistic one circa 2004:

Passion Mechanics (6/21/04)

"Your SOUL, mother****er, give me your SOUL!"

Got that prostitute of a Satan sitting in front of me, sticking a gun in my eye.

Now, he's got no red horns or tail, and it's doubtful that he's got hoofs in his nice-looking polished shoes. Not quite what you'd imagine the Devil to look like, if you know what I mean. Just an ordinary slim gentleman with a stylish haircut and a silk red scarf wrapped around his neck.

In fact, he's just an image. A hallucination. A hallucination with a voice.

"Write. Create. And if you won't, if you'll act like the little miserable **** that you are and keep your worthless soul to yourself, I'll have your brains all over that wall. End of story."

And I comply. I reach for the keyboard and start typing, typing, typing... Typing away my soul to the world in a hope that someone, somewhere, will appreciate.

And I will NOT stop. I will not ever, EVER stop.

Because the moment I stop, that trigger-happy son of a *****'s pulling the plug.

Just to give you guys some perspective, here's a short story I've sold to Abyss & Apex last year:

http://www.abyssandapex.com/200910-chef.html

Koobie this was pretty heavy and in fact I would rate it NC-17 and there could be children reading this thread.

I guess you're right, I've SPOILERED it out. Thx for pointing that out. If mods feel that way as well, please do edit it out / delete it, and I'll take more care as not to post the more disturbing ones.

(never mind, i found an answer to my question via some active googling [was wondering the difference between R and NC-17])

(deleted)

R means you can go in with your parents, NC-17 means no under under 17 is allowed, parents or not.

Most theaters won't show NC-17 movies. That rating is usually restricted to pornographic films.

"X" or "XXX" isn't even a real rating, it just a label invented by the adult film industry.

Thanks Steven. I'm not sure whether we have real age limitations here in Hungary... I mean, chances are they won't let you in if you're 8, but 15-16 probably wouldn't be a problem. At least, I don't remember ever being asked for ID.

You know, I was just telling a bed-time story to my one-year old daughter about how when she will fall asleep she will meet her favorite Teddy Bear (who all ready went to sleep), and in their dreams they will meet in a park with swings and swing for the entire night (my daughter loves swings).

I guess I've become much more softcore.

Anyhow, to put the last nail into this thread's coffin, here's a short .pdf file story collection that I've composed and a mate from Canada illustrated circa 2007.

Do expect some heavy material, so I wouldn't recommend it to an underage audience.

http://download34.mediafire.com/jwww54nxjccg/j30ydtgdjal/SoftwearV1.pdf

(1.69 mb)

PS. Wow, mediafire looks like a pretty awesome site to upload stuff to the net if you don't have FTP server access.

Fun game: Read those stories and use the sound effects from http://instantsfun.es/

... ... Yeah I'm having fun!

Pretty funky stuff, Koobierino.

And on the very, very, very last note...

When I was back at Uni and the girl who later became my wife was just a friend of mine, I got invited to her birthday. I was completely broke, so wrote her a six-line poem for a present. She was so impressed (and slightly intoxicated) that I think she confused me with her at-the-time boyfriend for a sec.

Here's the poem:

http://drkoobie.deviantart.com/art/butterfly-7616026