Let's say you're on the holodeck on the Enterprise, and the holodeck program has a restroom in it, and you go into the restroom and use the toilet.

What happens when you end the program? Is there a pile of poo left over on the yellow grid or what?

See, that's why I can't watch Star Trek.

http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Holodeck

Presumably they use the transporter technology to beam it off the deck.

As they explained in TNG, the holodeck is actually a complex system involving transporters, replicators, inertial dampeners and force fields. The food is real and the toilets are real. So don't worry about it.

What is it about this forum that we routinely have threads about the smell of your farts and crap like this?

"The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again! The characters turned real!"

"Damn! The last time that happened I got slapped with three paternity suits..."

this brings up another ST related question... did any ST series or movie even mention someone needing to use the restroom other than First Contact?

and beyond that i wonder about other sci-fi where nobody ever seems to have to use the restroom

better than threads I see on other forums like, "can you pee in a girls butt?"

It goes into the captains tea.
Earl Grey, Hot.

Quiet, you! GROWN-UPS are talking.



It is interesting you should bring up this conundrum! I happen to have in my files a speculative screenplay, a "fan-fiction" if you will, dealing with this very topic! It is written by Rottingbeef.

[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> [The setting is the men's restroom of the bridge. Picard is washing his hands as Riker enters, beads of perspiration on his forehead as he has a look of hurried consternation.]
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> PICARD: "Ah, Number 1, I see you are here to do a number two, yes?"
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> RIKER: "Yes, I am."
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> PICARD: "Excellent, excellent."
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> RIKER: "Say, I might have to do a number one while doing my number two, eh?"
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> PICARD: "Ah-haw-haw! You are as usual the most witty of fellows."
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> RIKER: "Yes."
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> [Enters Data.]
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> DATA: Hello! I am here to relinquish my digestive system of the burden of its processed wastes. Please excuse me as I attend to the facilities.
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> PICARD: By all means!
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> [Data removes his trousers and approaches the sink in which Picard is washing his hands. Picard looks on with horror as Data leaps up and hops on to the sink, his buttocks clenching firmly against the porcelain as he jovially deposits an odd assortment of mechanically digested material.]
[2306:2009'24] <Beeftop> PICARD: >:O

Yaoi! That's bizzaro.

Wesley Crusher was demoted to holodeck jizz-mopper between seasons 2 and 3.

Don't lie guys, you would use the holodeck for that exact purpose.

oh my god holodeck jizz mopper

i say they should store all the holodeck jizz and use the transporter to send it to the bridge of enemy ships

Is that why dflt.mat looks the way it does?

I mean, they could transport it right into Romulan's faces or whatever.

Sometimes I want to live in the Star Trek universe because with all the technology at your disposal, you can be a phenomenal dick.

Or have a phenomenal dick.

Yeah, the replicators, transporters and holograms are all essentially the same technology: transforming energy into matter and manipulating it.

This is pretty contradictory to every time they refer to holograms as "projections of light" and how the Doctor on Voyager could move through physical matter but whatever.

Replicators and transporters made actual stuff. Holograms are just made up of forcefields like current video game characters are made of polygons. The holodeck uses the replicators and transporters to allow humans to thoroughly interact with (like eat) some elements in the fictional world.

Replicators take a moment to make something. It seems plausible that the holodeck is not capable of reproducing solid matter at interactive rates. It can make a static object, because it only has to make it once. So for something like the doctor, it'd have to replicate some sort of doctor robot, or do a holographic projection.

But, the show contradicts itself every other episode so it's really not worth trying to figure out.

My question with regards to the doctor was always; if you recall the doctors in the alpha quadrant were used for mining. Why the hell would you enslave a hologram of a person when, if holograms are capable of moving rocks around, you could use the technology that makes the hologram work to do the job much more effectively? Why the hell not use a tractor beam or something? They got better **** for that than Picardo.

No. TNG and DS9 were amazingly consistent, because they had a tech bible and consultants who checked everything for internal consistency.
The same people worked on Voyager too, but the writers ignored everything they said.

Voyager was literally some of the worst TV ever made. If you can sit through even a single episode from season 2-7 without screaming "THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK. WE KNOW, TODAY, WITH TODAY'S TECHNOLOGY, THAT THIS IS RETARDED" you're a better man than I am.

But what about in the Moriarty episodes of TNG? They were trying to transport Moriarty into the real world because the holodeck and transporters were "basically the same thing," just some probably with "matter integrity" or whatever they term they made up.

...or wait, is that just what they told Moriarty to fool him? I don't remember. That episode was confusing for a bit.



I learned to ignore it and watch it for the Doctor and sometimes Nelix.

Basically this. There are some other random parts here and there, but the Doctor was the show's saving grace. I watch Voyager like I would TOS, except a lot of Voyager's cast wasn't as strong as TOS or TNG (DS9, for all its awesomeness, I always felt was hit-and-miss with its characters, since I really didn't care for Kira at all, for instance, but Garek was some of the best ever).

Dude T'Pol is ten times more hilarious than 7 of 9

Best episode is the one where they go back in time to modern day (with Sarah Silverman, the astronomer!) and they download the entirety of the Voyager's database into a desktop computer in less than five seconds.

This is also the same episode where they hack the database (that's stored in a CRT monitor) by holding a tricorder, which somehow allows them to guess the right password.

God, I hate that episode. From the moment I saw it, I make sure to bring it up anytime someone brings up the topic of Star Trek Voyager.




Once DS9 got into "everyone but Cardassians against the Dominion", I thought it got pretty cool. Plus: "We do not discuss it with outsiders."

The voyager episode: was that the one with that ultra painful line of "HEY, THERE COMING, ITS SOME BALD GUY AND A BLACK DUDE" referencing the doctor and tuvok..it made me facepalm IRL


anyway, I watched DS9 last summer over from start to finish, i felt if TPTB gave the producers more permission to follow an story arc format it couldve been more amazing than it already was

It's really weird because I actually rather liked Voyager as I was watching it back in the day, but now when I catch reruns, it's often a bit "myeeeeeh" when it doesn't involve the Doctor (though I don't think I hate it nearly as much as a lot of people). It was the complete opposite with DS9 (probably because the earlier seasons were meh and the later seasons really required you not to miss an episode).

It was this one.

Also, the doctor's facial expression in this cracks me up:

LOL FOUND THE EPISODE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtKm0K4gVfQ

Have you peeing in a girls butt at school any time?

I love voyager, it's the right mix of sci fi and light heartedness that has me entertained and chuckling now and then. If you're screaming at the show you're definitely taking things too seriously.

We're talking about Voyager, not Fox News.

(oh snap)

Hehehe nice