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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Loss of a loved one
Loss of a loved one
2010-06-28, 7:27 PM #1
In the vein of the other "emotionally dump on internet strangers" threads popping up, I wanted to post something that would help me just by writing it down.

I just found out this morning that my dad passed away from a heart attack while he was driving. It was a complete shock to us since he had no severe health problems, and he had survived three years in Iraq for God's sake. I am going through the typical stages of grief (mostly with me breaking down in front of my boss at work), and I think I will be alright. I am mostly worried about my 13 year old brother who was in the car with him. They didn't get into a crash, but my brother is extremely sensitive about death due to his past medical problems. Can you imagine when you were 13 in a car, playing your Gameboy or something, and then out of the blue your father dies in front of you? And you're by yourself in a car five states away from home?

I've been bombarded by calls that I mostly refuse to answer (I get so sick of people I haven't talked to in years immediately decide to be friends again after disaster strikes), so I have enough condolences. I have been talking to some of my best friends and family members though. I would appreciate if anybody could relate their stories of lost and how they coped, and also how they helped their family cope. I'm kind of worried about finances too, since I'm the eldest son. I'm still in shock and disbelief, so it's hard for me to come to grips with it.
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2010-06-28, 7:40 PM #2
My thoughts are with you. My father passed away about three years ago. I know what you're going through in many respects.
"I would rather claim to be an uneducated man than be mal-educated and claim to be otherwise." - Wookie 03:16

2010-06-28, 7:41 PM #3
I don't have a personal experience to share with you, but you have my deepest sympathies, Whelly. I'll be thinking about you and your family.
2010-06-28, 7:41 PM #4
And in an odd way, I appreciate you coming here to post this. Thanks.
2010-06-28, 9:06 PM #5
My sister died about three years ago, you just have to believe they are better off now that they are not suffering in this world anymore.
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2010-06-28, 9:18 PM #6
My deepest sympathies for you my friend, and may his soul rest in peace. You have to remember that his parting from you and your Family is not forever.
He who controls the spice controls the universe-
2010-06-28, 9:27 PM #7
I'm really sorry. I can't relate from personal experience (unless you include my cat that was older than me and died a few years ago). Obviously this is a hard time for you, and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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2010-06-28, 10:05 PM #8
I had to deal with something along these lines in February.

I hate the phone calls.
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2010-06-28, 11:03 PM #9
Massive hugs from me.
2010-06-29, 5:03 AM #10
.( I hope you and especially your brother make it through this all right!
DO NOT WANT.
2010-06-29, 6:35 AM #11
Very sorry to hear this. :( My condolences.
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2010-06-29, 6:57 AM #12
I've lost all my grandparents, but never anyone that close. The best thing you can do is be close with your family and friends and try to work through the grief. If you find yourself unable to cope I recommend talking to a psychologist or counselor. There's nothing shameful about that, especially given the circumstances. Other than that, only time will help. Hang in there, you'll all get through it.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2010-06-29, 7:01 AM #13
Wow, that's horrible. Not trying to downsize the death of your father, but at least they didn't crash... you could have lost two family members.

Be strong friend, for that little brother of yours.
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2010-06-29, 1:59 PM #14
I'm sorry for your great loss :(
He said to them: "You examine the face of heaven and earth, but you have not come to know the one who is in your presence, and you do not know how to examine the present moment." - Gospel of Thomas
2010-06-29, 2:08 PM #15
Damn, hang in there.
幻術
2010-06-29, 2:19 PM #16
Originally posted by zanardi:
you just have to believe they are better off now that they are not suffering in this world anymore.


true.

Hang in there W, life deals us some really ballsey moments sometimes, and you just gotta take it on the chin and grow from it
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2010-06-29, 7:19 PM #17
Wow, my condolences. That's a terrible loss. :( I hope you and your family pull through this tragedy and can someday sit together, look at photo albums and cherish the things you loved about your dad.


I'd like to say I can relate (my father fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the double-line and hit an 18-wheeler - he was killed instantly), but I wasn't 1-yr old yet, so I didn't have any idea that anything happened.
"Harriet, sweet Harriet - hard-hearted harbinger of haggis."
2010-06-29, 8:11 PM #18
I've spoken to my father about 5 times in the last 10 years. Appreciate the memories and the relationship you had with your dad. I hope your kid brother is able to keep his chin. He's going to need you to be strong.

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