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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Say something innocent...
Say something innocent...
2010-07-08, 3:24 PM #1
Say something innocent that can be taken completely the wrong way.

"I hate it when it comes out like toothpaste."

Bonus points for REAL stories and putting the innocent sense in context for us (use spoiler tags after).

Liquid super glue that had half dried up.
2010-07-08, 3:27 PM #2
"Hm... Thats not as hard as I thought it would be."

Moving a couch down a flight of stairs
[01:52] <~Nikumubeki> Because it's MBEGGAR BEGS LIKE A BEGONI.
2010-07-08, 3:35 PM #3
"Exit Only"

Street signs everywhere.
2010-07-08, 3:49 PM #4
"I couldn't get it up and Amy was pretty upset."

Me telling my friend about how Amy bought a TV stand that I couldn't get up the stairs by myself because it was too bulky to get around the corner.
2010-07-08, 3:56 PM #5
"I enjoy Dick sucking."

I know a Dick who's terribly obnoxious but I do enjoy seeing him suck at anything he tries.
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2010-07-08, 4:15 PM #6
"I wish he would just come already!"

My friends wondering when my other friend was going to arrive at the destination. Also, FastGamerr murdered and raped a girl in 1999 and didn't tell anybody.
"Oh my god. That just made me want to start cutting" - Aglar
"Why do people from ALL OVER NORTH AMERICA keep asking about CATS?" - Steven, 4/1/2009
2010-07-08, 4:26 PM #7
it's so small it fits in my pants with plenty of room to spare

friend talking about his new mp3 player
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2010-07-08, 8:24 PM #8
hmm, let's see. Maybe:
B.H.O.

A female I worked with once complained that her butt hurt.
I queried "rough night?"
"I would rather claim to be an uneducated man than be mal-educated and claim to be otherwise." - Wookie 03:16

2010-07-08, 9:14 PM #9
It's supposed to taste like sugar.
2010-07-08, 9:26 PM #10
That's what she said.
2010-07-08, 11:04 PM #11
If you hadn't bit me I'd have fingered you.

Halloween at uni playing a game called dracula which involved rounds of hiding in this huge scary house and trying not to get bitten by vampires. You had to try and figure out who was the original vampire. My friend Sarah bit me at the very end (so I lost the ability to accuse someone of being dracula) and I suspected her of being dracula.

Not confusing at all.
2010-07-09, 5:20 AM #12
Oh man, my day has come. This conversation actually took place between a friend and I. He was talking about finishing Heavy Rain.

"Oh man, I can't wait to go to my cousin's house today and beat it!"
"I'm so close I can feel it!"


(I had a picture, but Facebook always seems to lose my crap...)
Quote Originally Posted by FastGamerr
"hurr hairy guy said my backhair looks dumb hurr hairy guy smash"
2010-07-09, 9:14 AM #13
"quit making my pants vibrate"

my friend kept calling my phone when she was in the same room as me
I'm proud of my life and the things that I have done, proud of myself and the loner I've become.
2010-07-09, 1:14 PM #14
"I left you a little sticky"

said to my boss after leaving a small sticky note on his desk regarding a message someone left for him.
Welcome to the douchebag club. We'd give you some cookies, but some douche ate all of them. -Rob
2010-07-09, 1:44 PM #15
Originally posted by Darth_Alran:
"I left you a little sticky"

said to my boss after leaving a small sticky note on his desk regarding a message someone left for him.

Hahahaha
2010-07-09, 2:20 PM #16
Most of these don't need spoilers because it's appallingly obvious what's going to be in them -_-
2010-07-09, 2:28 PM #17
Your mom
2010-07-09, 4:32 PM #18
"Whoa. Don't drink the teabag."

I was making a cup of tea and forgot to remove the bag before trying to drink. I was with my work team at the time, and they all started snickering.
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2010-07-09, 4:35 PM #19
"don't squirt it all in there so fast I won't be able to swallow it"

yo some friend was just kiddin around putting frosting in my mouth no big deal
2010-07-11, 12:25 PM #20
"Aahhhh! You got it in my eye! And it tastes salty"

I sprayed off a bag of 0.9 sodium chloride into a girls face by accident at work! Haha
Got a permanent feather in my cap;
Got a stretch to my stride;
a stroll to my step;
2010-07-12, 7:07 AM #21
"Let's ride the SLUT."

Taking my kids to ride the South Lake Union Trolley in seattle yesterday.... yeah it was on purpose but still funny to me.
2010-07-12, 8:09 AM #22
dang, i thought i'd subdued this thread with my previous post :(
2010-07-12, 10:30 AM #23
"I only like whites."

Onboard the ship, there's a program that dictates which doors and fittings should be opened or closed at any given time, based on the liklihood of needing to go to General Quarters. There are 3 conditions, X-Ray, Yoke, or Zebra. Every morning and evening we are responsible for checking that the fittings are in the right position based on the condition, after which we sign a log entry saying our fittings are positioned correctly. I was in the head washing my face and saw a shipmate that still needed to sign. I said "Hey, don't forget to sign for Yoke." He replied, "Man I hate yoke," to which I said, "Yeah I only like whites," (naturally making a lame pun about eggs). Immediately after, I noticed a black shipmate standing nearby. I then had to explain the joke so he didn't think I was racist.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2010-07-12, 11:16 AM #24
Haha, that explanation sucked. I figured it had something to do with eggs but it took you 3 years to make the connection!
2010-07-12, 11:17 AM #25
maybe I just wanted everyone to get some background to understand why a friend would say "I hate yoke," and why it had nothing to do with eggs.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2010-07-12, 11:17 AM #26
Right this second there's 3 or 4 sailors nearby talking about their ship's shaft problems.

I heard things like "Our shaft broke" and "The shaft f***ed up the whole aft end"
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2010-07-12, 12:13 PM #27
"You weren't joking when you said it wasn't big."

It is small.
2010-07-12, 12:30 PM #28
"Just close your eyes, open your mouth and swallow."

My Aunt was trying to give my 5 year old nephew some nasty tasting cough medicine, and that was the best advice she could offer. *facepalm*
Mirthy

King James the 1st- “I will not give a turd for thy preaching”
2010-07-12, 12:32 PM #29
Originally posted by Brian:
"Let's ride the SLUT."

Taking my kids to ride the South Lake Union Trolley in seattle yesterday.... yeah it was on purpose but still funny to me.


I bet your kids couldn't wait to tell their friends they rode a SLUT
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2010-07-12, 1:11 PM #30
I would correct you to say that it's THE slut not A slut, but it turns out there are two of them.
2010-07-12, 1:20 PM #31
My wife is French & when we first met she didn't speak any English. She would often say "come on me" (not to be confused w/ "cum on me") when we were lying down together & she wanted a hug. After about the 3rd or 4th time that she said it I told her the correct way to say it & that if she said it the previous way again she'd be getting a big surprise. She hasn't said it again. :(
? :)
2010-07-12, 1:39 PM #32
Originally posted by Mentat:
"come on me" (not to be confused w/ "cum on me")


I thought the whole point of the story was (to be confused w/ "cum on me")?
2010-07-12, 1:42 PM #33
Yeah, I probably could've explained it a bit better. My mistake.
? :)
2010-07-12, 3:43 PM #34
If you make that mistake again I'm going to come on you! :argh:
2010-07-12, 7:08 PM #35
Originally posted by Mentat:
My wife is French & when we first met she didn't speak any English. She would often say "come on me" (not to be confused w/ "cum on me") when we were lying down together & she wanted a hug. After about the 3rd or 4th time that she said it I told her the correct way to say it & that if she said it the previous way again she'd be getting a big surprise. She hasn't said it again. :(


I lol'd
2010-07-16, 3:07 AM #36
Me: "If they're pretty I could try paying for them myself."

Talking about a test buy I made while developing a mobile shopping site. We were worried that they wouldn't cancel the purchase. I ordered some bowls and I was contemplating on keeping them.
Sorry for the lousy German
2010-07-16, 3:20 AM #37
"It doesn't feel like it's stretching when Jenn does it."

My girlfriend was diagnosed with MS this year, and her 3-a-week injection is thick enough to actually cause a welt-esque formation. Apparently, her sister is better at administering an injection into her butt than I am.
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2010-07-16, 7:19 AM #38
That might be funny if your gf wasn't sick :(

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