I work on mechanical things for a majority of my work day, and every once in a while I experience days where everything I touch breaks. It either outright breaks, or has some sort of hardware/software failure. At the VERY least will not work correctly. 3 out of 5 of my machines have had issues today, and my computer here seems to be having issues as well.

Why does life hate me?

Have you considered that you're not very good at your job?

lol

The second reasonable and healthy explanation is God likes to punish you personally for who you are at a fundamental level.

Nope, everything I touch turns to gold.

Everything I touch turns to sold.

Everything I touch turns to sole.

Everything I touch turns to do a

I'm actually great at my job....

Curse you all!

One day I'm going to find you and I ****ing will destroy you.

I'll be wanking for you. Waiting.

I'm the most skeptical person out there, but I have to acknowledge that if one of the computers in the back of our lab is acting up, they all will. If the printer won't print, neither will the expensive one in the other room. If I have to demo something for a tour in one of the medical/industrial labs, none of the labs we visit will have working technology. We all actually say out loud before we go to check "And I'll bet this one too?" because more often than not problems happen all at once. It's impossible to deny. I want to say it's just that we notice that more things don't work well at the school on some days, but other days every single thing in all the labs will work flawlessly and zero problems will happen all day long. The bad days are noticeably different than the good ones.

Everything I touch has an orgasm.


:3

That's because you're a bubble boy...

Everything I touch files a restraining order against me.

Everything you touch I touch.

I am the King Midas of ****ing up tactile tasks (except lovemaking—and maybe typing).