so i just got done hearing from a shipmate of mine who i didn't hear from for the last couple months. His wife cheated on him while he was on deployment. They have a 3 or 4 year old kid. She started cheating on him during deployment, then after he got back, she told him, and he began working towards a divorce. Now he's doing pretty ok, but he's colllecting unemployment while his wife gets the house, and 2 out of the 5 cars he bought with his military money..

But he's hanging in there...

That sucks, so much. Amazing that he seems to have had the willpower to keep his emotions in check and not deck that *****.

cheating skank!

also... 2 out of the 5 CARS? 5 CARS? who the hell needs 5 cars? seriously, global warming suddenly makes a lot more sense

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I hate to hear it but anyone that's considering the armed forces as a solution while in a relationship needs to know that it goes w/ the territory & it has throughout the history of mankind. If you leave a woman alone for months or even years to go play cowboys & indians (or in his case, pirates) across the world, she's very likely to find someone else. Those individuals have to weight that risk in their minds, accept the likelihood of it happening & plan ahead for it. It sounds like your friend wasn't prepared & that's unfortunate.

Wow, I completely skipped over the 5 cars thing, that's a giant wtf

It's a little known fact that one of the skills you learn in the military is the ability to drive more than one car at a time, so owning more vehicles will easily contribute to global warming more.

I don't mean to be crude, but you can't leave your girlfriend alone 'unattended' for a long time without her getting THE CRAVING.

That said, sucks to be that guy

So is conversation navy slang for STD?

I keeeeeed.

But who knows, maybe the shipmate got THE CRAVING too when he was deployed.

You see, in America, people are very bad when it comes to handling money. This goes doubly so for the military...

Good for her.

If I had the coin, I'd have a lot more than 5 cars.

Also, ^ flamebait.

Well, the wife cheating isn't anything new, monogamy hasnt exactly been a virtue the army pushes. As somone said, it goes with the territory.

I have a freind in the navy. He got married at 18 (dumb ass) and now at 21 (just turned 21 this month) hes divorcing his wife because she cheated. Yet, he tells me all the time about all the oversea's babies him and all his military buddies make. He has no intention of ever finding or careing about any of his basterd children out there, and thats how alot of his "crew" looks at it as well.

1 cheating wife dose not make me feel as bad as 100 fatherless children in poverty ridden parts of the world. The army needs to invest in a vasectomy for all there "soildier's", all they are doing is producing more enemies. Kids that will grow up in there third world countries, and hate america all the more, yet have Military prowess in there genes... Ok this got a little far fetched but stll....

Darth - isn't that view ignoring the women they have the babies work? Do they get a free pass? It takes two to ****. Unless they are raping them.

no those women are just great big whores who need to learn how to close their legs. my husband was deployed for 5 months last year and not once did i even have a thought of cheating. its bull**** the whole "yeah thats common" thing. its common when you marry a slut. /end rant

Ok so here's the deal.

Sorry for being all "Massassi is my personal blog and I'm gonna tell you all about crap you may not care about" last night.. I was actually incredibly drunk when I wrote this. But no one's seemed to care so meh. We can continue discussing it.

And:

Yeah, he had 5 cars. Buying cars was kind of a hobby of his, but he was very financially savvy. He also had the house that had been completely paid off, (until he took out a HE loan to remodel it). He only had a loan on 2 of the 5 cars, but all 5 of them were in working condition. We liked to tinker with them periodically.

And, yes, I agree that it's a difficult position when the husband (or the wife for that matter) is in the military and is away from months at a time. But it's something you just have to deal with when you choose to marry someone in the military and you should prepare yourself to deal with it.

If a party can prove that the other party is at fault for the breakup of the marriage (such as infidelity in this case), then they can seek a disproportionate share of the marital assets. Fault may also be a small factor to determine whether or not a party is entitled to alimony.

It's like looking into a crystal ball...

also, what is a HE loan and where do I sign up?

It doesn't work that way in Indiana apparently...

HE loan == Home Equity loan.

What if the boyfriend/husband enlisted after they were in a relationship & the girlfriend/wife was against the idea? There are countless variables (emotional, biological, etc.) involved & calling women "sluts" because they feel abandoned (or however else they may feel) because their boyfriend/husband decided (there's no draft) to go play cops & robbers in another country doesn't quite make sense. There are certainly women that have a weak sex drive & can go years w/o ****ing a man (e.g: Mother Theresa, may she rot in hell) but there are also those that have various needs that may need to be fulfilled in order for them to lead healthy &/or stable lives & just calling them all "sluts" isn't really the answer. Besides, if he's an average guy, I'm quite certain that he wouldn't be turning down a nice piece of nomadic ass if it presented itself while overseas (assuming he had the opportunity). I know I wouldn't & that's just another one of the countless reasons that I wouldn't enlist as a married man.

Once a Marine I really look forward to the sluts.

Buy a toy.

exactly. regardless of if the spouse signed up with the others dissaproval they still made a promise to be true to each other (unless theyre swingers or have an other type of agreement, which in this case its not. she decided to move away from her husband even when he wasnt on deployment) also, i believe men who cheat are sluts and whores too.

Thank you. I intended to say something like this, with perhaps less crude language. There are people out there who stand by their mates 100%. They are a hell of a lot more common than you knuckleheads think.

There are people out there that do just about anything that one can imagine. Cheating is probably a hell of a lot more common than the average young enlisted person is aware of. Various studies show the rate of extramarital affairs at over 50% in the United States. There are a ton of people that thought their boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife was trustworthy until they walked in on them ****ing another man/woman. Affairs are very common & given our nature it's not really a surprise. Anyone that enlists should be aware that just because your wife goes to church on Sunday & is a member of the PTA doesn't meant that she doesn't like to get a cock in her at least a few times a year (& if you abandon her it may be someone else's).

I think in this theoretical case of the husband (I'm using husband for the sake of simpler grammar here) signing up without the wife's approval, he already made the decision to not be true to her. ****ing other people isn't the only way to ruin a marriage.

I'm not trying to justify such behaviour, I'm just saying that if you make a decision by yourself that negatively affects your partner's happiness, you need to expect some consequences.

I kind of agree with you Detty. Making a decision to join the military is something that both members of the relationship need to agree upon. But if the husband joins up against the wife's will, the wife has better courses of action then to start cheating on him. At the very least she could shoot for divorce. (Quite frankly, anyone who would make a decision to enlist against the will of their partner is already showing they're not committed to the relationship, so in my mind divorce would be warranted by the other party.) Or they could make an arrangement not to be monogamous (this is actually fairly common in the military too).

In the case of your original post, my assumption is that she intended to be faithful but found the separation more difficult than she realised and ended up having some sexy time. Then she admitted it which presumably took guts? I'd be pretty pissed off, but I'm not sure I'd divorce over it.

Marriage, one giant **** storm. At least if you never get married, you can't get divorced and lose half your life's accomplishments.

Seems to me that once the trust has been broken the marriage will always be severely diminished.

Says the guy with no friends.

Infidelity is a big deal.

Of course it's a big ****ing deal, and if it was just the case that she was sleeping around for the thrill of it, I'd be all about the divorcing. But if it was the case that my actions, whether through neglect or being a dick, led her to sleep with someone else, then I wouldn't be so quick to judge (or at least I am willing to say this now, I'm fully aware that if it actually happened I'd be somewhat less rational).

The point is, infidelity is bad, but these things rarely happen in isolation. But the visual of another guy's cock inside your wife (even if it's just once) is harder to tolerate than the idea of you being neglectful for an extended period, so obviously infidelity seems worse.

I can see how the actions of one party can cause infidelity to be understandable for the other party, but they don't make them excusable. This is, of course, barring infidelity/violence by the first party.

You're also getting the wrong end of it. She was the one that wanted a divorce. The only reason she told him, was so he'd give up trying to save his marraige (since he could already tell something was wrong, but didn't know what).

I <3 TERMINAL LANCE

She is not a whore, not a slut. And at least she has some self-awareness and honesty about her ****ty behavior towards other people, while you judge, sling your poison and horrible namecalling and still try to pretend you're better.

I have a theory, Tenshu.

It goes a little like this:

Person A is adulterous.
Person B is not, and calls person A a whore.

My theory is that all other things being equal, person B is a much better person than person A.

I call it the theory of not being an *******.

and you think you're better for being all "enlightened" because you don't judge people? Guess what. You're doing it right now.

Andrea has 100% right to say that's her opinion about such people because she went through the same thing and remained loyal (I hope. :P). For all her "slinging poison and horrible namecalling" she's caused a hell of a lot less pain than the woman you're defending, who you don't even know.