Ok, so a couple of questions crossed my mind last night while I was taking a dump at Wal-Mart. Pommy hasn't posted about relieving yourself in a while, so I'm going to take up the slack.

1. You're alone in a multi-stall public restroom taking/leaving a smelly dump. You are pretty much finished, wiped, and ready to flush and go wash your hands when someone enters the bathroom. Do you:
[INDENT]A. Wait in the stall until the interloper leaves and you can exit unseen.
B. Exit the stall anyway, because everyone has to take a dump, but do not speak to the interloper while washing hands unless spoken too.
C. Exit the stall anyway, because everyone has to take a dump, and initiate small talk while washing hands.
D. You wouldn't ever have to experience this because you refuse to take a dump in a public facility.

[/INDENT]2. After using a public restroom (for whatever reason), and washing your hands, do you:
[INDENT]A. Take an extra paper towel and open the bathroom door with it, so your hand doesn't make contact with the doorknob/handle. Then throw away the paper towel (by shooting a basket or whatever).
B. Grab the doorknob/handle with your bare hand.
[/INDENT]

1. B
2. B

B and B. There really shouldn't be much thought placed in these sort of things, and I don't understand the desire to talk while in the bathroom.

B
B

B,B. I'll talk in the bathroom if it's a friend, sometimes, but probably not the majority.

Where's the option for "wait for the stall next to you to be occupied and initiate contact by tapping with your foot" (aka The Larry Craig Option)?

Double Bs. Talking in the bathroom is weird and creepy. People's penises are out.

What

SavageX was the one known for gross polls, not me

Although this question is one that I would definitely post if I had thought of it, so kudos

B and A for me

1. B
2. A or B, usually I use the towel I used to dry my hands

D
B

A, B

There was a horrifically long sit-off one time, as I was taking a mean plopper, and right as I was about to finish someone else came in the bathroom and took a mean plopper right next to me. Neither of us would leave the stall, eventually he left....20 minutes later. BOOYAH!

So you just sat there in that most likely smelly bathroom NOT pooping for 20 MINUTES????

Yah, you did win that one.

E (wait in your own stall until the other person goes in their own respective stall).
B.

B

Technically neither, most of the rest stops in NY have the handicap buttons so I end up elbowing or kicking it

mb is handicapped

I don't get why more bathroom doors aren't just push open. Makes so much more sense.

I do not ever poop. Never. I NEVER poop.

So what you're saying is that you're full of ****?

One side would still need a handle unless it swings both ways, which isn't feasible in a lot of locations.

B, B unless I'm in a filthy third world country where people don't understand basic sanitation or if I'm in a building frequented by teenagers, in which case B, A.

iirc there aren't any building codes in north america that say which way a bathroom door should swing. It's pretty much up to the architect, as long as the entrance generally follows disability guidelines and the door can't hit anything made of glass.

Finally, a quality post from Xasthur.

Also, B, A/B. I'll always use a towel to open the door if it's possible (or use my sleeve/etc), but I won't go out of my way to deal with it.

I pretty much do whatever I want when I'm in public... So it depends on what kind of mood I'm in, but generally, I would not initiate small talk, but I would laugh the entire time I was washing my hands then mutter some non-sequitur as I was leaving along the lines of "It's awesome baby" or another sports related phrase.

Or just do the whole U-shape entrance without a door at all, like many high traffic bathrooms do.

Oh, those are great.

o_________________O this makes me laugh and it so happens I'm at the men's room sink

Personally, I completely don't care about touching bathroom door handles, or any other handles or surfaces in a bathroom except maybe the toilet itself. I wash my hands only grudgingly with their antibacterial soap, too. I wish they had some regular soap and regular faucet knobs that you can leave on and turn hot.

but the antibacterial soap kills 99.9% of germs while regular soap only kills 99.7%! sure, it dries out your hands and cracks the skin, but that's a small price to pay.

Clearly if some bacteria make you sick, and some bacteria are on your hands, then the only way not to get terrible diseases that kill your children when you come home is a bacteria holocaust on your hands 3 times a day.

I wonder if the "toilets are the cleanest things in a house" thing applies to public toilets at all.

Prob. not, since they're not in a house. OBV.

B
A/B - I'll try to use my wet paper towel. If there is no waste basket anywhere near the door then I'll open the door with some little-used part of my hand.

QFBTWIWGTS.

1. E. Hide in the stall and wait for the person to sit down. Then crank out the loudest, most authentic armpit farts you can. After this drop a roll of toilet paper into the toilet from a couple of feet.

2. B.

B, B. A person who answers otherwise might need counseling.

C, B. I relish bathroom conversations and will often seek out public bathrooms to enter so I can make small talk with the occupants of the stalls or urinals.

stat being an excellent example of an individual who might need counseling.

Counselling is underrated amongst you sane folk.

Getting counselling is like being gay: people think you're ****ed up somehow...and they're right.

Via investigative journalism I have managed to do what so many before me have tried and failed to do: bring you photographic evidence from directly inside a stall in Finland.

B
B

I think some people need to get over themselves (in relation to the first question, I can understand entirely why you'd use paper to open a toiled door in public)

Then again, the main public bathroom I use has a door that you just push open, I use my arm to do that... not sure if that's a huge improvement though

It's not that I wouldn't go in a public restroom, but I usually don't have to go when I'm out in public. So I really can't answer that first question. And, B.