Fight of the Century (of the week)! [/SIZE][/I][/B]

Introduction:
You are a mighty god. No mere mortals could ever hope to defeat you. However, in these tough, economic times, even you find money hard to come by these days. To that effect, you have brought forth a colossal arena in which others will pay good money to see if you can ever be defeated. You can't, of course -- should you lift so much as a finger, your adversaries would be instantly knocked out. This is a show you're putting on, though, and the dough really rolls in the closer your opponents knock you out, so you do your best to milk as much of the drama as you can. Will this match be your most profitable one yet?

Objective:
Have others beat you up as close to defeat as possible without actually being defeated!

How to Play:
One player plays as the mighty god while everyone else plays as the mortal adversaries. The player acting as the god can set their initial health anywhere from 50 to 200 points. For the remainder of the match, the player acting as the god must do their best to instigate the other players to attack them, whether through manipulative taunts, intimidating threats, or encouraging show performance. At any point before defeat, whenever the player acting as the god decides they wish to end the match, they declare that they defeat all of their opponents in one fell swoop, describing it however they wish. At this point, the match ends, and the player acting as the god receives money equal to the amount of damage they took.

The other players, once the initial points have been stated and the match begins, do their best to attack the player acting as the god. Anyone can jump in at any point during the match. They do so by posting a description of their attack and how much damage it does -- the damage can be anything from 1 to the value equal to the god's starting points divided by 5 (rounded to nearest whole number). However, each player can only use any one value once during a match (with the exception of 1). For instance, if Janitor Bob makes his first attack deal 5 damage, he can no longer post any attacks that deal 5 damage, though Michael McLongname could if he has yet to make an attack that equals 5 damage. Should they be able to defeat the player acting as the god, they each receive money equal to the amount of damage they personally dealt.

Should the match not end 7 days after it begun, the fight show is considered a bust. The players acting as the mortals are compensated with money equal to the amount of damage they dealt, while the player acting as the god receives nothing.

Match records will be tallied in this first post with a cumulative grand total so as to show just who the most profitable warriors are!

KOP_Snake:
as god = 44

((Please let me know if there are any questions about the rules. A match starts as soon as someone volunteers to play as the god and sets their starting points.))

Al Ciao walks into the arena. Looking around, he sees that no one has arrived yet, not even the god. "Oh, well, the show must go on!" He winds up a punch and uppercuts himself.

Dealing 2 damage to himself, he now has a bloody nose. His hair flashes bright neon pink with the shock.

I'm just gonna take a seat in the stands. And throw a lemon at the dork who just hit himself.

Step into my arena, challengers, and face the green-faced god of pestilence!



100 health points remain, do what you will, YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!

A mortal competitor walks into the arena. The first thing the Green-Faced God of Pestilence notices about him is that the challenger's charismatic stubble looks like a symptom of life long alcohol abuse. He is armed with nothing but a carrot.

With a barbaric scream, the challenger sets off for the malevolent god. He is human. He stands no chance. But the carrot goes straight-end-first into the Green-Faced God's of Pestilence eye all the same.

"Pop!" goes the eye, now stuck on the end of the carrot. 20 HP is a fair price to pay for the PURE AWESOMENESS of having some parts of cornea and whatever else little remains to be stuck on the god's eyelash, closely followed by sprouts of bloodied liquid gushing out of where his eye used to be. And, hey, exposing the brain never really hurt anyone, right?

Gebohq yells furiously and shoots a rocket at the Green God of Pestilence. To Gebohq's disappointment, it does 1 damage.

It would seem the green god of pestilence isn't one that people want to see beaten up much. Maybe some goading on part of the god will be required...or maybe we just have a bunch of pacifists here on this board.

Pacifists is just a cover up for YOU GUYS SUCK AT FIGHTING.

Unnoticed by the the green-faced god of pestilence (on account of a well placed carrot to the eye) Alran creeps in for a searing slap to the back of the head with a live Main lobster. Dealing a meager 3 damage Alran flees the arena to find a better use for said lobster.

Question: How many health points do the other mortals have?

It doesn't matter, since the only time mortals can be attacked is when the god decides to end it (assuming they have not reached 0 points themselves). The mortals are doing their best to either a) be unpredictable enough to attack the god down to 0 points before the god can end the match or b) play it safe and run the timer down. It's essentially a gambling game to see how close can the players get to zero (and thus have the most points for themselves).

Admittedly, there's a lot more difficulty, likely unfairly, on part of the god (since new players can jump in whenever), but it was written as such to encourage play. Limiting players could result in players dropping with no one to fill in, which is a real possibility with this community (and many online communities in general).

Oh, I was hoping to attack other mortals.

Perhaps if there's enough interest from other people, I can work on fixing up variant rules for mortals vs. mortals or something. If I did, it's still be a gambling game of sorts, not Mortal Kombat, so keep that in mind.

This... THIS is all you puny punks can muster?? Why did I bother showing up to this? I've gotten more hurt clipping my own toenails.

Zecks walks (stumbles is more like it) into the arena, downing a beer. He trips, breaking the bottom of the bottle. He gets up, grabs the broken bottle, and stumbles his way to this supposed god of pestilence. Zecks leans in and jabs the broken bottle into the god's privates, twisting the bottle as he does so. It inflicts 20 damage. Zecks then stumbles his way back out of the arena.

The god realizes he has enchiladas waiting for him in the oven, and upon feeling the growl in his stomach, does a simple "I am crushing your head" gesture with his thumb and index finger, and as such all of the heads of the mortal combatants (both in and out of the arena) explode simultaneously, drawing a satisfying roar from the crowd.

He collects his earnings on the way out.

KOP_Snake earns 44 points this match.

If someone wishes to step in as a new god, go for it. If you all wish to take this time to post criticism, please do. In any case, thank you for playing!

Al comes out of the restroom after cleaning up his bloody nose. "I missed the whole Thing? Crap!" He promptly slips on some burst brain matter in the stands and falls forward, giving himself a black eye on the bleacher and dealing 3 damage to himself.

"Owie..."