I've had a few crushes on girls back in hihh school (I graduated 10 years ago), and sometimes, those old feelings will bubble up to the surface again, even though most of them I've not seen in years.

Bear in mind, these are not girls I ever had a romantic relationship with. So is this sad and pathetuc, or does it happen to others, too?

*prepares to have his ego crushed by a chorus of guffaws*

I think that's a fairly normal form of nostalgia. I get it too, sometimes, when I'm not focused on someone else.

But also, I'm kind of pathetic sometimes, so maybe this is not so reassuring to you.

I wouldn't consider it strange or pathetic. Quite often one thinks back on old flames, even if there is a current one sometimes. Missed chances, words never spoken, and perhaps how things would have been different are common as well. Best not to dwell on them too much though, lol. "What-if's" could tear a person apart if left unchecked.

Even when your feelings for a person might change over time, you might still have a thing for who they used to be.

I still wonder what happened to girls I liked in elementary school.

Of course, I am on one of the lower levels of being a well adjusted person.

Haha, I wonder about girls I liked in elementary school (well, ONE girl anyway), too. I just didn't say because I thought I sounded oathetic enough already.

Uh... to clarify, I mean girls I liked back when I was in elementary school, NOT girls in elementary school now.

Seriously, the main reason I remember old crushes is that I'll have dreams at night about them, bringing back all the old feelings even after I wake up.

Yes. I have nightmares or whatever the equivalent that isn't filled with terror but just with **** my life is every night, and women I have been involved with or wanted to be involved with are a common theme in both.

Okay now you guys are making me sad.

That's not pathetic at all.

It came up in the chat the other day that there's this chick I used to have a bit of a crush on all the way through high school. Anyway, after we left school she sort of turned into a bit of a... I suppose the American word would be slut. Gotta be honest, I'd probably still hit it even though I'd most likely get the clap.

I agree, that's not pathetic. It's not at all uncommon to have think back on old crushes. Like others have said, though, it's best not to be get caught up in "what ifs" and let those thoughts tear you apart.

This is why God invented facebook creeping.

This.

Though, to be fair, there are a number of girls I knew in school that I know /exactly/ where they ended up [ie obese, broke, pregnant, and still working at the drive through/relying on their drunk stoner deadbeat boyfriends], and but for the grace of god... yeesh.

Ha, yes indeed. I had a girl send me a friend request who had a crush on me back in the day.

Yes, I accepted it. Its nice to be liked.

I have some idea where my old crushes are, too. But they're doing well. Melanie has a cushy government job in D.C., Jennifer works in an auto company's marketing division and is engaged, etc. And they're all still hot, too.

This is why High School Reunions exist...

I don't care much for my high school classmates. The atmosphere of my highschool was so "college-oriented" that it became unsettling and unnerving after awhile. It wasn't a prep school or private institution, but it was situated in a largely affluent, liberal Connecticut town with the majority of students being Jewish and white. The whole college-minded drive was fueled by the fervent expectations of parents and the toxic agenda of the guidance consolers and highschool administrators; the student culture often revolved around doing things to make those college administrators happy (whatever it takes), and the school was even reported in the New York Times for the blatant student cheating that went on.

After all those SAT prep-classes and nonsense, my senior year was essentially a collective circle-jerk session once those admission letters hit home. Oh god. But it seemed like hardly anyone, besides a select few who were actually smart or passionate, knew what they were going to do in college. It was as if, after those long 4 years for entering college, the next direction was an afterthought. And these were big name schools too: Princeton, NYU, Brown, Duke, Tufts, etc.

I haven't been in touch, except for a select few friends.

Facebook has replaced high school reunions.

This thread pretty much sums up my psychological level of development when it comes to women. Mostly just day dreaming and wishing.

. . .that sounded pretty pathetic!

Not at all uncommon. My thoughts are (especially now with my future wife) that all those past relationships were lessons learned that got me to where I am today. If I hadn't had those relationships I wouldn't have learned important lessons that allow me to have the relationship I currently do, which has become permanent. When you find your "one" then you'll look back and be grateful for all the ****ty times that somehow lead to you finding the one person meant for you.

Just my 0.02.

My first oh-so-young-and-innocent crush was a kid who would later be oh-so-not-heterosexual. Ditto my first 'boyfriend', in the latter part of grade school.
My second boyfriend wasn't until senior year of high school; he's straight, he's also a year behind me in school. When I went to university, it was obvious fairly early-on that it was going to end, and fortunately it ended at his request so I didn't have to be the villain as well as the one who left.

Free is my third-hopefully-last romantic relationship; he's six years older than me (same age difference as my own parents), and we met through an effectively anonymous venue. He moved 1700 miles to be in proximity to me, and we never had any connection of attending the same school, especially not in our teen years.

In summary: I didn't spend much time looking for romantic 'ships; of the closest things I had to 'ships, 2/3 aren't much over which for me to reminisce... and the other was a best-friendship that dissolved because of distance. Sometimes I'll pick up a whiff of something that smells like the detergent he used, and he'll come briefly to mind... but what I'm missing is my former best buddy, not my former high school sweetheart.

*shrug* I've always felt like a Mary Poppins figure in other people's lives: I show up, I effect some kind of relatively-positive change, and then I move on. I don't dwell too much on relationships, romantic or otherwise, that have already completed their natural courses and lifetimes. Some relationships end from inevitability or conflicts... and the ones that don't are generally the ones that don't end at all, with me.

I just don't really have room in my emotional scope for extraneous old flames in conjunction with the existing flame.

That being said, I don't consider it at all pathetic to dwell on old flames. It just isn't something I personally do.

This is why I date, I think that every relationship is a learning experience and can help the next situation with another relationship. My current girlfriend I originally dated 3 years ago for a month, I know in the in between I've gotten better at being a boyfriend and she's treated me the best out of everyone else. Just because she treats me amazing doesn't mean I don't sometimes think about the previous gals (some are more difficult to be rid of then others I've had) and sometimes crushes sneak in my head. I usually don't think of farther back then just-out-of-highschool girlfriends, none of them have anything I want anymore, I'm quite happy where I'm at now and hope it only goes up from here.

This is common enough that it's a standard sitcom episode plot. I wouldn't worry.

There's a girl I made out with when I was 13. Her name was Mindy and we made out on her last day at school before she moved away forever.

I didn't have a crush on her or anything and we weren't even really friends but sometimes I wonder if she got hot. They used to call her rat-face.

OP feels lust, not romantic feelings

Then by that rationale, God is Mark Zuckerberg?

Until wars have been started in Mark Zuckerberg's name, no, he's not God.

*scuttles off, hoping his comment will start off a religious flamewar*

Bwahahahahaha...

NOTE TO ADMINS: The above comment is totally facetious and is not actually meant to start a flame war, please don't ban me.

There's only one girl that I had a crush on & didn't end up sleeping with (I took advantage of opportunities). We ended up flirting with eachother via Facebook & even talked about getting together for a "camping trip", my wife (who was then my girlfriend) found out & I almost ****ed the entire thing up. I sometimes think about how hot it would be to **** her but that's about the extent of it. It'd be nothing more than a 1-night stand & I really wouldn't do that to my wife unless things were really bad & they're not.

Dude you should update your Star Wars blog.

Dude, Tracer, you should write for NeS again! Just go in there, read the previous post, and start rolling! You're hilarious, and it always works! (Zombie Highemp on Jeopardy... classic.)

oh good job man sounds like you covered all the bases there with that post

Does it have to be attached to the rest of her?

Seems that would be preferable... more places to hang on, yaknow?

Sometimes, Baconfish's non sequiturs throw me off big time. I kind of got lost there for a second, but I think I got it... I think...

Well, Baconfish, if that's the way you want it, I guess that's how it has to be.

It'd just that that way I'm sure it counts as cheating.

I think I will. Thanks for reminding me about it.

This is whst every guy wishes women would tell him.

Well, preferably his own name in place of baconfish's, but some of us aren't that picky.

Lol, nice.