I actually wrote this for the "post your voice" thread, to have something to read, but then decided to create a scifi short-story thread instead. I hope this sort of thing isn't frowned upon here...
As this was meant to be read out loud, it's really short.


Reconnection

The older Peter got the more he enjoyed netsphere timeouts.
When he'd been a young fellow, any disconnect had enraged him. In a frantic he had tried to get back online, as was the idiom of the time, feeling as if he had been amputated a limb.

But now, at 52, in the seldom split-seconds of a süperlag, he felt like meeting someone from his past, a young face coming back to him.
Peter recognised him of course. But he was surprised to notice that he didn't feel anger or shame for this boy any more. Instead he wanted to stay with him and protect him from what he had learned.

Unfortunately long disconnects were extremely rare these days. So when he read the news today that New Brunswick was all out, due to a major power outage, Peter hurriedly packed his bag to catch up with a connection that had his name written all over.

I don't really have anything but I read your story in a husky narratie voice for giggles.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/35341119/Untitled%20%285%29.wma

You should go over to the ISB forum and start a story there.

unintelligible!

yea it kind of is. made sense when i played it back while reading the words.

What he said.

Yes, because Geb is not biased AT ALL.

Not in the least.

That was great. A bit rushed and monotonous, but very much future noir tough guy.

I haven't quite figured out yet what the ISB is about or how it works. Interactive stories sounds like text adventures. Strangely it only seems to have 3 stickies in it? Oh wait, that's vB's timeframe misfeature, fooling me once again. I'll read some of those.

"feeling as if he had been amputated a limb"

I can't decide if this construction sounds incredibly awkward or refreshingly unique. I can see how it might be technically correct, but you hardly ever see anything like it. I don't know if you're actually looking for criticism or advice, but here's my take: you probably meant frenzy rather than frantic, using 'today' in the past tense is shaky at best, and you have a muddle of pronouns that don't clearly refer to any one person. Break up those he's and hims with more specific labels. Seldom is actually an adverb and so doesn't fit there. Try 'rare.' A bit dense with coined terms, perhaps, but it is rather short. No one can fault you for that.

Pretty interesting, nonetheless.

why u no read...

P.S.

Reminds me of my nightmares last night

Thanks for the advice Freelancer. As you might have guessed already, English isn't my native language. So I appreciate these hints.
However I think 'today', even in past tense, is okay in this context ("I read the news today, oh boy, about a lucky man who made the grade.").
Also there is only one person in this short text. The older Peter and a thinly veiled memory of himself as a boy. Does that clear up the he's and him's? Maybe not.
You're right that I should have used either "in a frenzy" OR "frantically" however "seldom" can be an adjective too. And I understand that the limb de-construction barely passes as grammatical.

Today doesn't really fit in the narration, though. Quotes, sure.